Therapist for Help Making a Change or a Decision
Parent Q&A
Archived Q&A and Reviews
Need help sorting out issues of major transition
Aug 2011
I'm looking for a therapist to help me with the issues of teen getting ready to leave home, coming to terms with what my marriage has evolved into, how to make the transition to what is next.... It is the beginning of lots of transitions. It is kind of confusing and a bit lonely. I would love help in figuring this stage out. Thank you for your suggestions and experiences.
First of all congrats on making the decision to look for a good therapist. I highly recommend that you contact Shira Gallagher, LCSW. She is a highly skillful, warm and engaging therapist who is excellent at working with people who are undergoing a lot of change and need a safe place to sort through feelings. She is wonderful. You can reach her at 510-594-4008. Her website: www.shiragallagher.com. Good luck. ems
What you're describiing is so familiar to me. When I was going through a series of major transitions, a friend recommended a wonderful, experienced therapist in North Berkeley named John Conger (510-524-8212). Wise and kind, practical and insightful, he helped me with some major decisions until I began to reconnect with parts of my life that I had set aside long ago. He has seen me through some rough spots in my marriage, too. My life is so much better, and I'm very grateful to him. I can't recommend him highly enough. Good luck to you. Lesley
Help me make peace with my situation
Aug 2009
I hate living in Berkeley but am stuck here because of my husband's job. I need to find a therapist to talk to, but don't even know where to start. The recommendations all seem to be geared toward depression and anxiety, neither of which I have. I just need to find someone who can either help me make peace with my situation or help me/us think of alternatives. Anon
A therapist sounds like a good choice, but don't be mislead by what therapists specialize in. Therapists all are trained to work with life transitions even if it you aren't depressed or having major anxiety. For example I see mostly women dealing with infertility issues, but I also see clients with a variety of life issues and a wide range of ages. So look for someone you can connect too.
Miriam Gross, MSW is terrific at ''putting our heads together'' to look at a problem like this. She's at 1225 Marin Ave, Albany. Phone:510-524-5103. She's respectful, good at putting things into words, and great at collaborative problem solving. If you want a more traditional therapist, Candis Cousins, Ph.D., is fantastic, too. She's near Piedmont and her office phone number is 510- 763-5358. They could be on vacation, but both are good about returning calls when in town. Judy
Elayne Savage, Ph.D. is the best therapist around! She's great with helping you look at options and alternatives to feel ''unstuck''. She will make you feel totally at ease and is non-judgmental, down to earth, and has many years of experience. I have really benefitted from seeing her and leave the sessions feeling positive and grateful to have an objective person when talking through issues. Here is her web address: http://www.QueenofRejection.com and her phone is: 510-540-6230. I believe she is accepting new clients at this time. feeling positive
re: your request for a therapist to help you make peace with your decision or help you think of alternatives. I live in the East Bay and am seeing Fran Wickner in Albany. I like her style: very non judgemental and she works on what I want to work on, not what she thinks I need to do. She's very practical and could be a good fit to help you make a decision to stay or go. She has a website with her email if you want that. LK
I would recommend Lisa Lancaster. She helped me with a similar issue. I have found her to be a sensitive and insightful therapist. She is in Berkeley and her number is 510-841-2525. anon
Therapist for lifelong procrastinator
June 2006
Can anyone suggest a therapist (or other help) for a middle aged man who has finally concluded that he needs help getting to the underlying reasons for chronic disorganization, procrastination, and constant lateness? Admitting the problem is a good first step, but he needs help overcoming these issues before he drowns in a sea of paperwork, lost items and missed appointments! anonymous
I know of a very good therapist who has helped me with my procrastination and really helped me move forward in practical ways as well as helping me understand myself better and any underlying issues around my procrastination. Her name is Dr. Joanne Chao. She is very interactive, compassionate and easy to work with. Her # is (510) 594-4003. You can also check out her website at www.drjoannechao.com. Hope that helps anon
As you seek a therapist for your lifelong procrastinator, you might also consider the possibility that the procrastination has a biological rather than a psychological basis. I, too, was a lifelong procrastinator, and was very down on myself for being unable to make what seemed to be pretty trivial changes in behavior. Then in my 50s I discovered quite by accident that I have actually had ADD all my life (ADD = Attention Deficit Disorder, though the name doesn't really capture the essence of the condition). This is a real disorder, and there are medications and other treatment approaches that have helped a lot of people. I suggest you read ''Delivered from Distraction'' by Edward Hallowell and John Ratey, two down-to-earth Harvard-affiliated physicians who have ADD themselves and who have done what I think is some of the best writing in this field. They also offer reasonably-priced conference call ''classes'' where they talk about many aspects of ADD, including medications and strategies for dealing with ADD and for dealing with partners who have ADD. The attendance is generally small enough that participants can ask questions about topics of particular interest to them.
For me it has been an eye-opener and a tremendous relief to realize that there's a physiological reason I have trouble getting organized, following through on tasks, taking minutes, finishing projects in advance, etc., etc. (even though it's a downer to realize there's something organic ''wrong with'' your brain). But ADD has a positive side, too, which Hallowell and Ratey emphasize. The website with info on the classes is http://www.allaboutminds.com/
The website for Dr. Hallowell and the Hallowell [medical] Center (a branch of which has recently opened up in San Diego) is http://www.drhallowell.com/ There's a list of some of the positive attributes associated with ADD there, as well as links to other useful articles.
Good luck! Finally understanding my procrastination
I'm sorry that you've had such a hard time getting effective support despite your best efforts. Unfortunately, I don't have a specific practitioner to recommend that's taking new clients at this time. But, I would encourage you to look for someone well trained in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectic behavioral therapy (DBT). DBT can be considered a ramped up version of CBT. These are the gold standard treatment approaches for significant mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, addiction, etc. Both are evidenced-based treatments based on behavioral science.
CBT and DBT have been a game changer for my young-adult children and me after years of ineffective talk and relational therapy.
It sounds like you might benefit from a DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) program. This is a structured course with skills training and then processing work. There are a number of groups in the area. One is DBT Center of Marin (https://dbtmarin.com/), but there are others. It's a time investment, but it involves actual WORK on your part, and it has clinical studies to show that it works. Good luck.
Wow, first of all, I commend you for your commitment to tackling the many issues you are facing and taking it seriously.
I had a great experience doing hypnotherapy with a Marin-based practitioner named Anahaar around a decade ago. Working with her for a few sessions really helped me release the pain and the awful internal monologue I was experiencing after a very difficult break-up. Anahaar set me on a path toward choosing better for myself, and she did so in a way that had profound and very fast effects on my life.
I almost didn't reply to your post, though, because it seems you have been at this for a while, and I honestly couldn't tell you the clinical difference between hypnotherapy and guided meditation, so I'm not sure Anahaar will live up to what you are looking for. She was extremely effective for me, and I am grateful to her years later. She's very different from any other therapist I've seen before or since. So... maybe?
I also want to comment that the list of issues you are tackling seems immense to me. It's not surprising to me that you're dissatisfied with the therapeutic experiences you've had so far. Look at how much you are trying to change! That is enormous. It's been my observation among my friends that when they are feeling in crisis on so many fronts, medication actually is the thing that helps the most because (at its best), it can function as a reset of their baseline. As I perused your very long list of issues, I also wondered to myself if you had considered trying psychedelics. It seems that what you are seeking is an adjustment to your entire life and habits of mind. It sounds like you are hungry for something radical... could psychedelic therapy be an answer for you?
Hi! I wanted to offer some support and to tell you that I can really empathize with what you are going through - I'm a 39 yr old mom and spent most of my life in the same situation. 25 years seeing multiple therapists and doctors who diagnosed me with general anxiety, depression, and Bipolar II over the course of my life. I was prescribed a ton of heavy duty medications that never really seemed to address my actual symptoms. Since I couldn't find a treatment that helped with my issues (very similar to ones you listed) I just assumed this was life and other people must be suffering this much as well because shouldn't all these medications and doctors help fix me?!
Last summer I was talking to a friend's mom, who works in the medical field, about how much difficulty I had just getting through the day and she encouraged me to talk to my psychiatrist about ADHD and how it presents in adult women (she was diagnosed about 30 years ago at the age of 40). After some research I was shocked that no one had suggested this earlier. My behavior as a child through today made complete sense and I could finally start the work and get to the root of my issues.
I wanted to share this with you in case you haven't explored this option yet. And if you have and ruled it out, I hope you get some great suggestions from other BPN members that can help you.
I also wanted to add that I enjoyed reading "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to heal from distant, rejection, or self-involved parents" and my current therapist, Neda Ehya (https://www.nedalunatherapy.com/treatment-approach) has been wonderful.
I hear you! I have been in therapy for the majority of my adult life, and have lots of insight but no deep healing and change until I began to work with Anneli Richards with Family Matters of Marin. https://familymattersofmarin.com She is innovative, multi-modality and continues to incorporate new methods into her work. She is now expanding her work by including others in her practice. Internal Family Systems, EMDR, trauma-informed care, psycho-education and more. It has taken time. I had emotional challenges from a very young age, that led to coping strategies that were not functional for me as a parent, and as an adult. I now have inner resources and more self compassion that help me function as a whole person and not just reacting to inner turmoil.
this work with her has been life changing for me. I have a lot of experience with therapy and the approach here is unique and effective.