Coaches & Mentors for Teens and Young Adults
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– Oct 2, 2022(6 replies)
Our son is 20, and just completed two years at a school in Boston. On paper, he did fairly well, perhaps 3.3. But behind the scenes, and unbeknownst to us, he was a mess.
He found himself as literally the only guy who thought the election wasn’t stolen on his (jock) dorm floor; lacked confidence in his path and major; found an abusive group of young women to glom onto; was isolated like all of us by covid; got behind on school etc.; started abusing alcohol, (As an example of the “amazing” friend group: when he tried to take a break from drinking, the lead Mean Girl would shame him in front of 20 people, calling him terrible things).
All of this led to him feeling terrible about himself. He became withdrawn, depressed and anxiety-filled. He went from one of the more enthusiastic contributors—his Freshman teacher said his essay was literally the best student paper he had ever received—to sitting silently in class.
We got an urgent call from his therapist. He said he thought our son was seriously at risk. We flew him home from Boston, that day. That was six months ago.
I have since read of, and spoken with many parents who are experiencing similar things with their children. It seems to be that the pandemic behind the pandemic has been mental health.
But we are all trying to move forward. S has been in both group and individual therapy, and is also going to AA meetings. My wife and I are also working with a family therapist, to do better on our side of the fence, in terms of supporting him. S is now better, not great, but better.
However, he’s also beginning to feel like he wants to get back to school. I’m not excited about this, as he is objectively not ready. That said, his therapist says, S wants to work towards a goal, and if he gets in somewhere, he’d still have months, perhaps as long as one year, to continue his self-care.
So I want to support the parallel efforts.
I have long been an admirer of this amazing BPN community. The one slight issue I have is, I can’t always seem to find the right threads among this Library of Congress-esque riches.
There are many many threads about College Advisors for kids in high school, most of whom seem to be driven.
What about advisors for lost transfer students— kids who no longer have the college counselor available at high school (and are not attending JC)?
Does anyone have any experience with a consultant who helped their overwhelmed kid winnow down their interests, leading to a major, and this, the best school fit?
I’ve been looking into the Meyers-Briggs and Strong Interest career tests. Those seem great, but I’d rather S work with someone who can lead him through it.
These might be two initiatives: an MB consultant, followed up by a college advisor.
Any advice would be so welcome. We lived in Berkeley for many years. I so appreciate the people in this forum.Oct 2, 2022
– May 6, 2020(1 reply)
My adult daughter has been depressed for years, and we haven't seen much improvement even after many years of therapy, most recently with an experienced DBT therapist. She is on anti-depressant meds. I am now researching the next steps for treatment.
Until we come up with a longer-term plan, I'm looking for a coach who can help her structure her days and set up some process for accountability. This might be an ADD coach who can help with procrastination and decisions. Or a "productivity coach" who can do the same. I've also heard about "behavior-activation" coaches. Ideally this person would be female, experienced and warm.
Thanks for your suggestions.May 6, 2020
– Aug 12, 2019(4 replies)
Hello - my almost 18-year-old son may be returning to Berkeley after a year of wilderness then residential treatment. I have heard of people in other cities engaging life coaches to help their kids stay sober, keep in shape, and engage productively in their lives. We parents will do our part of course, but I would love to find a young man that my son could connect to in this way, someone who fills the slot between therapist and mentor. Does anyone have ideas, references, etc? ThanksAug 12, 2019
– Aug 8, 2019(2 replies)
I'm looking for a peer mentor(female only) to provide regular social support for a young adult who struggles with ADHD, neuro diversity & social anxiety. Ideally someone who is studying to become a counselor or therapist & can model desired behaviors while out in the community. Any leads on how to find such a person highly appreciated. TYAug 8, 2019
– Nov 27, 2018(2 replies)
I am looking for a ‘case manager’ type therapist for my young adult son who has significant mental health issues and needs professional help to become more independent and responsible for his own well-being. He sees a therapist who provides specific treatment for his illness however I believe he would benefit from seeing a therapist/social worker one-on-one (i.e. not in a group at this time) who can help him on his day to day living, set short and longer-term goals, review with him how he spends his time and money, work on life skills and decision making. He has OPTUM (formerly UBH) insurance and it would be great to find someone in network, preferable in Oakland, Berkeley, or Albany.Nov 27, 2018
– Apr 3, 2018(1 reply)
Our current 7th grader seems to be struggling with staying focused in class, not being disruptive, etc. and we are concerned. We'd like for him to take some time this summer to really focus on shoring up some skills and goals so he can stay on track.
Does anyone have a recommendation for a local coach who can work both on academics (I.e. how to craft an essay) and more of the motivation / executive function side of things?Apr 3, 2018