Parental Control Software

Parent Q&A

Can I totally block YouTube on a BUSD-issued Chromebook? Aug 21, 2020 (3 responses below)
What is the best App for limiting screen time on an Android phone Aug 30, 2019 (11 responses below)
Parental Controls on 17-y-o's Laptop? Aug 30, 2017 (5 responses below)
Parental Control recommendation? NetNanny or other? Sep 19, 2016 (3 responses below)
Parental controls and blocking adult content on Wifi Aug 7, 2016 (8 responses below)
  • My children use district-issued Chromebooks for online school.  YouTube is restricted but there's enough to be very distracting. How can I totally block YouTube on those Chromebooks?  I'm not allowed to add BlockSite or other apps because the district is the administrator. 

    (We don't own a Chromebook or laptop ourselves.  Worth getting our own for that reason?) 

    I gave back the chrome book for exactly that same reason! My kid said they watched YouTube all the time during class last year :( He’s using my old Apple laptop so I can block everything but schoolwork. Too tempting!

    We're in a different district, but our experience is that you can contact your school tech support and they can block specific sites on your child's account if needed. If the teachers use YouTube, though, then your child won't be able to access the content. Getting your own Chromebook won't help- once your child signs on with his account, the school's settings take over and you can't change it. If none of your family uses YouTube during school hours, you may be able to block it at your wireless router, but then no devices in the house can access it.

    You can't block it on the Chrombook.  But if your WiFI router supports "Block Site" it's as easy putting YouTube on the list.  All of the WiFI router manufactures, Netgear, ASUS, D-Link, TP Link, etc. all have the feature.  You will have to see if your router supports this feature.  If not, you could buy one.  This will only prevent access through your WiFi router.

    Might be pointless if your kid can join a neighbor's router.  Due to the wild fires Comcast has opened all of Comcast's WiFi routers to everyone.  If any our your neighbors have Comcast WiFI router your kid will have access.

    I'm an instructor and would suggest NOT blocking access to YouTube.  I am always giving students assignment to watch YouTube or EduTube (which is really YouTube).  Before blocking any site I would check to see with kids teachers to see if they giving assignments where students have to watch YouTube video.  Many news and instructional videos are all on YouTube. 

    You should also realize YouTube is on the only video streaming service there is out there.  There's Vimeo, Metacafe, Dailymotion, Facebook, Veho just to name a few.  Some of these sites, unlike YouTube allow for sexually explicit videos and other subjects you might not want your kid to know about every or at least not yet.

  • My 15 year old with ADHD and a mood disorder is addicted to her phone -  forgoing meals, sleep and bathing when she really gets going; yelling and screaming when we remind her it's time to put it away.  We've discussed the physical and mental health consequences with her.  We've set limits and made rules.  We take the phone away when she doesn't comply.  But, the process of physically taking the phone feels like we're teetering on the edge of violent disaster.  She had a very traumatic childhood (she's adopted) and gets easily triggered.  I have Verizon Smart Family App on her phone but the time limits haven't been working, either because the App doesn't work very well, or because she's learned how to disable it, or both.  Does anyone have a recommendation for a good app?  I'd like to be able to to cut access to the cell network and our home network at certain hours of the day.  I can unplug our router if necessary so cutting access to the cell network is my major goal.  It's such a frustrating and disheartening situation.  Thanks for your help.

    I have an adopted teen also with the same challenges. This is maybe not the advice you’re looking for but I suggest taking the phone away altogether. A kid with ADHD, and a mood disorder, and adoption issues to deal with does not need phone limits. She needs to be spending almost 100% of her time at home in the presence of her family, feeling the love of her family. She’s not doing anything useful at all with the phone. Even though she will almost certainly tell you her connection with friends through her phone is her only joy in life, I would not believe it. It’s much more likely that social media is adding to her problems. Also—many adopted kids have attachment issues and access to phones (electronics of any kind really) make it nearly impossible to help teenagers with those issues. 

    Taking it completely away will be a short-term nightmare for you but there is so much to be gained in the long run. 

    Hugs to you. It’s a long hard road we are on. 

    We tried a variety of apps, but my son (also with ADHD) was able to find ways around all of them with the help of YouTube. What finally worked was turning off data to his line through the AT&T website as needed, turning off our WiFi as needed, and getting a "kitchen safe" (on Amazon) that every phone in our house goes into at 10PM each night. I have to say that the safe has made the biggest difference, since he's also not able to take his phone out in class during the school day without it being confiscated. We tied his compliance with the safe to the continued availability of the phone during the day, and since we're all doing it, it made it a little bit easier for him to handle. He can still listen to his music through bluetooth headphones, but there is no texting, gaming, etc. at night. Sleep makes a big difference to the rest of the day, and he doesn't feel singled out by us trying to confiscate his phone every night while we still have ours. Good luck!

    I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. As someone who has walked this road, I can tell you it's a tough one. My child is now 19 years old. For us, limits did not work, he always found a way around them. He just got sneakier and sneakier, and when all else failed, he simply got phones from friends and/or used the free wifi that seems to be available everywhere including in our home thanks to neighbors who do not password protect their wifi. How teenagers have access to phones they can give to friends, I have no idea. But I can tell you, the vast majority of social networking teens use do not require cell signal or network. We also had violent outbursts including the smashing of a phone with a hammer rather than handing it over (one from a friend). As you might imagine, this was not our only discipline issue.

    My suggestion is to get good family therapy in place. It's likely this will not be your only behavior / control issue. An app won't solve the short term problem or deeper issues. You might also look into The Parent Project (https://parentproject.com). Unfortunately, I found out about this too late to be of help for my family, but I've heard great things about the program.

    Good luck, and do something kind for yourself today.

  • Parental Controls on 17-y-o's Laptop?

    (5 replies)

    I have a 17-y-o heading off to boarding school for the first time - entering as a junior.  The primary reason my teen is going to boarding school is for a better fit - this is a bright teen who is floundering in the local public and private school systems.  I'm hoping a change in environment, a school with supports for gifted w/ ADHD students, and routine and structure implemented by someone other than parents will be a good thing.  

    Like a lot of teens, mine is completely distracted and consumed by technology use.  The boarding school will manage this to a point, but I'm thinking it would be a good idea to have parental controls in place as well (we've had them in place on devices all along to some degree of usefulness).

    My question is this: what parental controls on a MacBook have you found to be useful in supporting a teen's use of the device as a learning tool, while limiting their ability to use it for excess distraction or, worse, nefarious (keeping Tor and Bitcoin off, etc.) purposes?

    This has proven to be a helpful and insightful forum for me in the past, so thanks in advance for your suggestions.

    A 17-year-old? They are at the age when it needs to be about discussion/negotiation, not parental controls. In one year your child will legally be an adult so you need to think about how to parent a person for whom your opinions are advisory.

    I agree with the post of Sept. 2. At 17, a teenager should understand your family's values, rules, and expectations around technology/social media. As your son heads off to boarding school, it's important for him to believe that you have faith in his ability to make good decisions (even if you have concerns). As a family, I would suggest that you have a frank discussion with your son before he leaves for school. You might have somesuggestions ready with apps that help kids monitor their own computer usage, but I do not recommend parental monitoring. At this age, remember that it's more important to LISTEN than to offer advice! 

    - Mother of two young adults, director of The Parent Education Series 

    I tend to agree with the above response but still, I think it's ok to set some restrictions. I'm going through this right now with my 14 year old daughter. You can enable restrictions by setting up an administrator account on her computer, and going into parental controls window. I found it doesn't do everything, but helps. Then, there is YouTube which is a beast into itself. Look on line for how to set restrictions on youtube. I'm still trying to figure it out across all devices. She was looking at pornography, super raunchy stuff and very upsetting.

  • Hi,

    I'm overwhelmed by the plethora of apps out there that filter content and restrict time on the internet for kids. Does anyone have direct experience with one they really like? I'm looking at Net Nanny, for instance. Also Screenlimit.  There is a new one called unPlug that sounds great but the reviews are awful. My 14 y/o daughter has an Apple Pro Book and some of them don't work with MacOS.  I need something that can work with our smart TV, her iPhone and Pro book, and that I can set up on my PC and access on my Android phone. Thanks for any help.

    This is hard...  The only things I have found to be effective are (1) set mobile-data restrictions on their phone (time based), which you can do with Verizon and Sprint and probably other providers, and (2) turn off the internet at a specific time.  You need to figure out how to do this with the administrative controls of your firewall since just unplugging it is easily worked around.  Also make sure you are the only one who knows the passwords for those things.

    We love and use Qustodio. Not sure it does all you need but it's been a godsend to keep our homeschooled kids on track when it's time to focus on classes. 

    The tech stuff with kids has been very overwhelming! 

    Right now we have Circle by Disney ($99) attached to our wifi router. It lets you assign certain devices including the tv to each member of the household and then set limits on wifi use by that person. So at home it gives control over screen usage that needs an internet connection. You can extend time with "rewards" or set certain times of day w/o internet access and set bedtimes and wakeup. The controller is on the parent's phone and password protected :)

    Downsides: family devices we all use are a grey area, our main computer which is connected by cable to the router is not controlled, non-internet screen use and downloads are not controlled. Out and about cell use on a phone is not controlled unless you pay a monthly Circle Go fee. It is tricky to assign devises as they all look the same---I had to learn how to match the MAC Addresses online!

    Pluses: It shuts stuff off not you---you have buttons to grant more time. You can see which sites are being visited if you care too. Gives summary by day and week of usage. Bedtime and wake up automatic is lovely. Interface is pretty good. Not at all perfect but I feel it helps give parents a baseline of control over an area that can easily get out of control---it is really bad for a relationship to be repeatedly trying to communicate to someone lost in a show or game that their "time is up". 

    Summary: not perfect by any means but it is a start :)

  • With a tween daughter, I realize we are at the point where we will need to manage/screen what she accesses? The various options (NetNanny, Qustodio, etc.) are confusing and prior to shelling out for a subscription, I would love to hear from BPN on your experiences. 

    I've been in the tech industry for years.  In my opinion they are NOT worth it and provide minimal protection. Kids can easily figure out (thanks to the Internet) how to defeat all site access/parental control  software.  You will probably find kid can defeat the software faster than you can install either.  These program also the issue of blocking access to "good" or safe sites,  Not worth it in my mind unless the thought of the software being on the computer allows you to sleep better at night.

    When the LA school district rolled out iPads with parental control software installed the kids had it defeated in less than a week.

    I recently talked to the technology person for our school district.  (All of the kids are getting iPad this year.)  I was told they do have site blocking software, (to appease the parents and lawyers), but the kids know how to get around it.

    Bottom line, save your money.

    Hi there,

    First, I'll say nothing replaces the conversations you should have with your kids, sharing information and building trust. But I'm appalled at the laissez faire attitude of the post I've seen, that suggest you just shouldn't even bother to try to filter their content. Your kid can hit a typo while tapping in "pokemon" and end in some pretty crazy porn, pretty quick. In an age where more extreme porn equals more clicks (and more profit), you're simply negligent if you don't even try. The best $100 we ever spent was to purchase Circle, a device that filters content at the router level. It's amazing! You can assign different devices to different levels of filtering. Most of our household is set to teenager level, but my husband's and mine are totally unfiltered. You can set it up to turn off the wifi between certain hours, or simply pause it if your kids won't get off their devices. I can turn it off when I leave the house and know my kids aren't on their devices. It's not perfect, but it's a huge help. Most of the other stuff out there is pretty useless. We also set up parental restrictions on their individual devices. Good luck!

    I purchased the device "Circle by Disney" for my home wifi, mostly to try to prevent my son from accessing inappropriate content.  Through Circle I was able to see what websites he was on, I can set time limits on each device, pause the device or internet, and set a bed time on the internet or device.  A lot of people said that I shouldn't do this and that kids will find a way around it.  And yes, even though he found a way to get around it by using a hotspot on his phone, I was able to talk with him about the fact that I could could see every website he was visiting, could tell when he was using the hotspot (which consumes huge amounts of data so he would run out early in the month for his cellular usage) and if I could do that probably someone else could too (so what he was doing should not be considered "private").  I explained that it was just like junk food or cigarettes, I don't want them in my house, so that was just part of the rules of being a family member in our household.  I have not yet started using the time limits or bedtimes on the Circle, but if I found I needed to as a way to control the amount of internet access, I would do it.  I think as a parent you have to use every tool you can.  If you can also use NetNanny, that might be a good tool too.  I have never used it and somehow you have to restrict all access so they are only browsing using NetNanny, which was not something I felt I could easily install and implement across devices, so using Circle with it's remote and somewhat "cloaked" installation was a better choice for me.  Wish I had been able to install this device years ago when the kids first got computers and smart phones.

  • I recently discovered that my almost 15 year old son has been accessing porn on his computer.  When he was much younger I tried to put parental controls on his computer, but the basic features on the Mac didn't seem to work very well and would block too much such that when he wanted to watch youtube or access sites that were legitimate, he could not get to them. My husband was annoyed about having to constantly deal with the access issues and complained so much that I took all controls off years ago.  A few months ago I checked my son's browsing history and found that he was accessing porn regularly.  And even though we have (loose) rules about where the computer can be used, he occasionally takes it in his room while working on hobbies, or in the bathroom.  In addition, there are plenty of times when we leave him home alone for several hours while we run errands or exercise. My son is very sensitive and sometimes when I bring up difficult issues, he refuses to discuss them with me.  I don't find it easy to talk with him. My therapist recommended I have my husband handle the conversations "man to man", particularly because I didn't want my son to shut me down or feel "shamed" by me.  My husband talked with him about the concerns of porn and asked him to watch some documentaries about how abusive and damaging the porn industry is to the women who participate.  A few months have gone by and he is still accessing the adult content, and even worse, writing fictional porn in a sort of journal. I only know this because I regularly check his computer and devices, although he recently changed his password on his phone so I can't access it. My husband would never bother to do this and while he is concerned, doesn't really want to get into the habit of monitoring. I recently installed a device on our WiFi called "Circle by Disney" which I can control through my phone or iPad.  It filters adult content, tracks websites accessed, tracks total device usage, has the ability to limit time and hours for wifi access, can lock out access to any app (such snapchat, FB, instagram) and pause the internet on demand.  I wish this device had been available when the kids were first getting computers and phones and the restrictions would have just been part of the deal. My husband is reluctant for me to implement it because he feels it is passive aggressive to just restrict the access without getting a "buy in" from my son. While I agree that we should talk about our rules for internet usage, risk about porn, etc, I have told my husband that the decision to restrict access is like deciding not to have junk food, cigarettes, guns or anything else in the house that you don't want to expose your kids to. It reminds me of when I was a teenager and I had a friend sleep over.  While my parents were out for the evening, we drank some of their alcohol and got drunk!  Not long after that I noticed that all the alcohol was put in a locked cabinet.  Would love any thoughts or advice on this. 

    I don't think you should be reading his journal, and I think writing fiction about *anything* is perfectly healthy and a good outlet.  I would only be concerned if he is spending so much time watching online porn that it is cutting into his outside interests and relationships with real people.  

    I think most parents who have raised teen boys will tell you that boys gravitate to adult content around this age. I've already been through this with two teen boys and I'm on my last one who is now 15. With my two older teens, it was mostly magazines under the bed because in those days there was only one computer, and no smart phones. It is my experience that teen boys this age masturbate ALL the time, and they most certainly do not want to do that in the family room or discuss it with their parents. It's great that your husband had a talk with your son, but I do not think you should be forbidding your son from looking at adult sites or trying to prevent him from doing it.  You can and should tell him your own opinion about porn, and of course tell him you don't want to see dirty pictures popping up on the family computers. But you really need to step back a bit now that he is 15, and let him have his privacy.  I do not think you should be reading his writings, and I don't think you should be looking at his browsing history unless you have reason to think that he might be in real danger.  Please re-think forbidding the computer in the bathroom or in his room unless you have a problem with video game addition, or homework not getting done. Sure if teens are doing something dangerous or harmful online, like using the computer to buy drugs or post naked photos of themselves, then I think parental intervention is warranted. But that is not what your son is doing.  You should also have a privacy talk with him - acknowledge his need for privacy now that he is older, and tell him that you will respect his privacy. I just recently did this with my 15yo - I realized I was regularly walking into his room without knocking first. He didn't mind it when he was 10, but he does mind now, so I apologized and told him I realized I needed to respect his privacy more than I was doing.  I think my assurances strengthened our relationship.  

    At this age a parent's role starts to change from manager to consultant. It is hard for us parents to stop managing when we have been doing that for 15 years.  But that is what you have to do, so he can start becoming an adult, and so you can lay the groundwork for a long-term relationship with your grown-up kid.  You already did your due diligence with the junk food, cigarettes, guns, etc. when he was younger, so the decisions he makes as an older teen and young adult will reflect that.  Buy now it is time for him to have more control.  

    -- Mom of three boys

    Your house, your rules.  Porn viewing can lead to obsession about watching porn and addiction.  There are plenty of ways boys share this info without having to go online for it.  Boys do not need to watch porn to have a satisfactory masturbation life!   You wouldn't have let your child rent X-rated movies if he was growing up 20 years ago.

    The limiting factor has to be about what YOU are comfortable with; not what your kid wants.  Don't feel pressured to allow this.  He will be out of your home and making his own decisions soon enough.  

Archived Q&A and Reviews

Questions

 

Computer screening devices re: Porn

May 2009

I would like to know about what parent's experiences have been with screening devices or screening programs for computers? We have a MAC. Much thanks.
I need it now.


I mentor a number of teenaged young men. With them and their families I often suggest x3watch. It doesn't stop the sites, but it does send you a report of sites visited twice a month that empowers you to have a conversation with your son about it. The website where you can read more about it is: http://x3watch.com/ The free version is available for mac. Goodluck, I'd love to know what you finally choose. Erik


We used during a difficult time a software program called Safeeyes. It is like Fort Knox. I know my son and his friends devoted hours and much research on unprotected computers to trying to hack it, and were unable. It can be set to stop porn, drug info, cheating sites, suicide info, etc. It can also record all IM conversations on a machine. (When I turned this on, I told my teen I had done it, and that I would only go in and review the conversations if I felt I had to do so for his safety. That time came, and, even though he knew in advance about the recording, there was useful information there.)

The downside was it can be a pain. It can block legitimate sites, requiring parents to go through a routine to OK them (which of course always happens at midnight when something is due the next day..) At one point it blocked all google images; a real pain for my art student child - and it took quite a bit of work to find a workaround for that. It took over an hour to manage to uninstall it on one of my kids 18th birthdays (perhaps their favorite gift!) But the phone support is good.

I would recommend this if you have a serious need to block. do what's necessary mom


Computer software to monitor teens' game time

March 2007

I'd like help finding computer software to monitor the amount of time my teen spends playing games. Any assistance would be appreciated; where have you found programs? can they tell you the amount of time on different games? how easy are they to install and use? I would prefer something transparent so we can all see the amount and talk about it together. Thanks
Mom tired of arguing


I like Child Safe, because you can not only monitor what they are doing, but you can also give them a set amount of time they can be logged on. Its not as invisible as some of the ''spyware'', but your kids know that you are watching, so they are much more conscious of where they go and what they chat about. http://www.webroot.com/consumer/products/childsafe/features.html
Jenny


Need to block porn sites on our IMac

Oct 2006

We need to put parental controls on our computer. It's an Imac, the newer one with the intell chip. I'm frustrated because there seems to be limited choices for macs, and I've heard that these kinds of controls really slow down the computer. We also don't want to have separate profiles for each user. It's a family computer and we sometimes work on the same projects and it is just too complicated to have separate profiles for everyone. We have several browsers, and tho I guess we could limit that I'd prefer something that would work with different browsers. I'm only interested in blocking porn, not chat groups, politics and violence. Is there anything out there that will work for us? Unfortunetly it is not possible to get the guilty party to knock it off. I am sad to be in this position and very grateful for any advice that you might have, Thank you


I'm running Kids GoGoGo. Seems to work well for us. http://www.makienterprise.com/kggg/kidsgogogo.html
Jeff


My friend Anne who edits Net Family News (my absolute favorite source of info for all things family & tech-related) told me about SafeEyes (www.safeeyes.com/safe-eyes/ toprated/) which she says is a favorite among software reviewers for filtering on both PCs and Macs. Check out netfamilynews.org while you're at it... I've been reading netfamilynews for years and always find useful info -- and eye-opening letters written by parents and kids themselves. (Also, an aside, Anne just co-authored ''My Space Unraveled, a parents' guide to teen social networking''/ might be useful) Susan