Therapist for Teen with ADHD

Parent Q&A

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  • Hello. 

    My high school sophomore daughter was diagnosed with ADHD in December. She also has anxiety. I am navigating the help and support systems she will need to succeed at school and learn skills for the future. She had excellent grades until last year, but this semester's grades tanked when she had a big courseload and AP classes. She did not submit homework, could not study, lacked focus, and did poorly on tests. In addition, I see that her organizational skills are highly challenging - her room, closet, and table are in disarray, and so are her study materials.  It is very stressful for her to live like that and for us.  It seems we are always on the edge because we don't know what will happen next - e.g., she forgot a birthday and needs to go buy a last-minute gift; or she left homework at home and needs someone to drop off, and so on. I am assuming many other parents of teenagers, especially those diagnosed at later age and, as a result, haven't gone through long-term coaching/training, are probably in the same boat. Is that correct?  

    So, I feel she needs help from a therapist to address the anxiety; but she also needs some "life coaching" type advice to gather her life; and also needs coaching/tutoring focussed on making sure her schoolwork is managed properly; and lastly, she needs some subject-specific tutoring in certain topics as needed.  I don't know about other teens, but, she is not interested in listening to my advice or does not want me to be her accountability partner. For professional help for all of these, I can imagine that the costs of getting all these services can quickly add up. In BPN, I have read about organizations for executive functioning/study skills for ADHD; their rates are about $80-ish per hour. I looked up another academic coach whose rates are $185/hour. I heard recommendations that the EF skills coaching should be continued for a year for the kids to "learn" the skills; and @ twice a week.  These can add up to the cost, because EF/study skills are only one fraction of the skills the kiddos need to learn - there will be the cost of therapists and subject tutors.

    I am not clear about what type of services these organizations will be providing.  Especially the executive functioning skills for teenagers: is that a glorified form of maintaining planners (or any other system that works with the particular child) and being accountability partners to make sure they complete tasks? Or is it indeed something more than that that justifies such fees? I read parents saying they got excellent results but I don't know if those tutors were teaching subject matters also or just EF skills and what was the result, specifically. I was looking at some online tutoring platforms, and many tutors offer "executive functioning skills for neurodivergent kids" at a  fraction of the cost. I am aware that there is no quality control on those services. 

    So, those who have experience supporting ADHD teens - what is your strategy? How have you managed through these high school years, when academics are important, but so are life skills and parents' sanity and funds are limited? Any advice/thoughts? What am I missing here?    Another question: does anyone have a recommendation for a life coach who advises beyond study /EF skills? Or perhaps workshops/support groups for teens?  Thank you.

    Hello! I am so happy to have a great resource to offer you: Classroom Matters (located on Sacramento Street at Dwight Way in Berkeley) offers executive function coaching (linked to ADHD), as well as subjects tutoring. Also: you don't mention what school district you are in, but Berkeley High Independent Study is a godsend to students who are struggling with anxiety. My daughter spent her Junior and Senior years there, and it was an incredible experience for her - wonderful teachers, less homework, autonomy, more free time to organize life and materials so that it doesn't feel like one big nightmare. She's just graduated from college, and I credit Independent Study with helping her form the foundations to be so successful. 

    My daughter, now a recent college graduate, has been using a paper planner notebook since 7th grade, when the concept was introduced by our average local public school and each teacher checked daily that students were writing down homework and due dates/milestones. Perhaps your daughter has already had some training in using a planner, or, nowadays, your daughter's school may be using Google Classroom; check with her, she may have tools available. Also, before you invest in coaches and tutors, check with her school, they likely already have these services available.

    Please look into getting an IEP from the district if you haven't already. Your daughter will likely be able to get support and accommodations that she needs to be successful. My daughter has a school therapist, is able to turn in work late, and gets extra help for tasks that require executive functioning. She is younger and we have had to pay for several therapies out of pocket. I suspect we eventually will need the type of services that you are looking for, but definitely see what the school can offer first! 

    We are in a similar situation with our high school sophomore, although she was diagnosed as far back as elementary school.  Having an IEP/504 is a big help.  We also started her with an academic coach, Beth at SOS4students.com, last fall.  It was 6 weeks of sessions first, then we continued it on a week by week basis.  The emphasis is on learning skills, by using examples of specific assignments.  We have family friends with an ADHD kid who swear by Beth.  Our daughter's progress is a bit slower, but these things take time, and it has helped.  It's not cheap though. 

    One thing about it is that the coach puts the responsibility on the child to learn skills and make progress, and parents are asked to let the kid manage their own homework.  That was hard at first for us parents, but at this stage, it's exactly the skill that teens need to learn, even if they fail sometimes.  And as you say, most teens aren't interested in their parents advice or want them as accountability partners. 

  • My almost thirteen year old daughter has been seeing a therapist for about 2 years and has made very little progress. She struggles with emotional regulation, acting appropriately when "getting in trouble" at school, and taking responsibility for her actions. My daughter has ADHD and multiple LDs. 

    From what I can tell, her therapist does some pointed work with her but much of their time is spent chatting.  

    I realize this is a difficult time to find anyone with after school openings but I'd appreciate recommendations for a skilled therapist who can help her make progress. An even taller order, we need someone who accepts insurance...

    Thanks in advance for any and all recommendations! 

    We have had great success for these issues through the SSP Safe and Sound Protocol.

    Google for local providers in your area.

  • Seeking recommendations for a therapist for our college-aged child with ADHD.  We are seeing (and learning about / discovering) more emotional issues that are apparently quite common with ADHD, and are causing great difficulty; our child is really at the end of their rope.  Without going into too much detail, it’s become clear that a therapist is needed.  I’m doing the “homework” at this point since college is keeping her busy to the point of overwhelm.  This would be more for helping with relationship issues than organizational coaching.  Can anyone recommend a therapist that specializes in helping adults with ADHD navigate life with ADHD plus the low self esteem, anxiety, depression, etc. that can be such a large part of it all?  Appreciate any suggestions and recommendations, thanks. 

    My kid has the same issues, and is doing well in her sophomore year in college.  One thing that helps tremendously is tapping into the learning center at the university, which assists kids with learning issues, including a separate space with extra time for testing, help with executive functioning and organization, and just checking in with someone to make sure she stays on track academically.  It's a CA state university; I think most of them have similar services.  Check with your child's school to see if anything similar is offered.  Good luck to you and your daughter.  

    Hello

    We are supporting our daughter with similar challenges although she is still in high school. A lot to share actually to much to write out. If you haven’t already visited CHADD online it’s a great resource to start. I will share that therapy has not provided the support we were hoping for our daughter. What has helped tremendously is an executive function coach. I highly recommend work by Dr Peg Dawson. Great blog

    at

    smartbutscatteredkids.com. You can also work with Dr Dawson online - smartbutscatteredkids.com/events/on-line-coaching-class/.Our daughter is currently using the work smart academic planner by peg dewson and Richard

    Guare. Finally we found something that works. Yeah. 
    Writing this from my phone. 
     

    Good Luck!!

Archived Q&A and Reviews


Experienced therapist for 17 year old daughter with ADHD

Feb 2012

Seeking youthful yet experienced and licensed therapist to help teenage daughter with issues around procrastination, self-sabotage and ADHD. Though open to therapy, she is skeptical and bright enough to have an inexperienced therapist running around in circles. Ideally, close to central Berkeley. Many thanks! Grateful for suggestions


I'd like to recommend my son's therapist, MarRem Remington, because she is fantastic with kids with ADHD (like my son) and kids wired differently (more emotional, more sensitive, more explosive, etc.). MarRem has 20+ years in special education before becoming a therapist, so she seems to really ''get'' these kids on almost an energetic level and connects with them in a skillful and compassionate way (without being ''played by them''). She is also great at giving the kid and the rest of the family strategies to honor the kid's emotional experience, while increasing his/her functioning in the family and at school. She has been seeing my son for awhile and he has gone from an ADHD kid frustrated with school and family life, to a much happier kid with emotional awareness and skills to self-regulate. She has really helped our entire family (my husband, our younger sibling and I) work with the ups and down and particular challenges of having a family member with ADHD in the family. She is located at Ashby and Shattuck in Berkeley. If you'd like to talk more about her style or any other details, feel free to e-mail me directly or call her for a phone consultation at (510) 835-4357. Good luck! j.


J.J. Kelly at Berkeley Therapy Institute has helped my teenaged daughter with similar issues, and we are grateful. I don't know where we'd be without her! She is wise, straight-forward and effective. Her phone number is 510-841-8484.


There are two fantastic, licensed therapists who see teens at JFCS/East Bay--a nonprofit agency right here in downtown Berkeley (accepts insurance and has sliding scale). Call 510-704-7475 and ask about Rikki Sudikoff and Alexis Lowenstein. More info at www.jfcs-eastbay.org. FYI, ''Jewish'' in the agency name, but services open to all.


For your daughter's therapy, taking into consideration your words: ..''youthful yet experienced and licensed therapist to help teenage daughter with issues around procrastination, self-sabotage and ADHD''. I recommend Marenka Cerny, MFT, in Berkeley. Marenka has experience with youths and young adults exhibiting symptoms that fit your daughter's needs. Marenka is a delightful person, excellent clinical training; with a good head. She also possesses a good youthful energy. You can see her intelligently written website. Her writing there clearly shows her professional background and her personal insights that she puts into her practice. Go to: www.somatic-psychotherapy.org/ Ph:510-717-9365. Marenka Cerny has helped members of my family with real life issues. She has effectively helped their personal growth and there has been positive behavioral changes in their lives. Suzanne


Hi, I would completely recommend you Orit Weksler, MFT in Berkeley. She is great with intelligent teenagers. Have a look at her website: www.oritwekslermft.com Best, Eszter


Could 13-year-old with ADHD also be bipolar?

Dec 2006

I have a big order for an African American therapist for my teenage daughter (13) who is very angry and hostile most of the time. She is on ADHD medication which she must take for school. She does get ''medication holidays''. Her behavior has escalated over the past few months and has begun to be so disruptive that I suspect something other than teenage acting out. Does anyone have any recommendations. We have Kaiser insurance and can use medi-cal for 2nd opinions (She is adopted) How does one differentiate between bipolor disease and adolescent acting out?


Check the web for symptoms of bipolar. Try NAMI, National Alliance on Mental Illness. http://www.nami.org/ Does your daughter get much sleep? Who prescribed the ADHD medication? Ask them about the diagnosis of ADHD vs bipolar. Does she have times of depression? Does she exhibit risky behavior such as drugs, sex or money? Talk to the Kaiser Mental Health advice line Anon


If you are willing to use your medi-cal, it is fairly easy to obtain an African American therapist and psychiatrist. spider


This is not a direct response to your request, but I'm wondering whether you've also considered the possibility that, if your daughter is menstruating, she might be suffering from severe PMS or even PMDD? Joan