Therapist for School-Aged Child
- For children under 6, see Therapists for Preschoolers
- For children over 9, see Therapists for Preteens
- More Therapists for Children
Parent Q&A
We, too, have anxious tendencies, and our child started having anxiety issues around 9 / 10 years old. They were having issues with sleep, self esteem, depression. We tried CBT exposure therapy and it wasn’t for us. It is not meant to be for a long term and we do think the few sessions did have immediate improvement in child’s fear but the process was very intense. I do not doubt the effectiveness but we wanted a more warm and supportive / relationship based therapy. The work involved was so hard that the child refused to do the exposure therapy. Also, CBT / exposure therapy tends to be more expensive. I think it’s because it is meant to be a short term, targeted work? When we began exposure therapy, the therapist said she thought it would take about 10-12 sessions to address the 2 main issues.
We switched to a play based therapy at www.thechildrensinstitute.com and it has been working out well. Child enjoys the warmth, validation and gentle guidance from the therapist. We also meet with the same therapist and she does coaching for us. the improvement may take more time but the process is less painful for us and the child. The coaching sessions are helping us understand our child better.
The cost is a burden. Our child’s current therapist is $200/hr which is less than any CBT therapist we worked with or looked into. I think play based therapists charge anywhere from $175-$225 based on our recent research. Most don’t take insurance. We have Kaiser so we have no options but when we had Cigna PPO, we submitted for reimbursement and we found Cigna to issue reimbursements pretty quickly.
I am sorry you are dealing with this. Hope you find the help you need ASAP.
Archived Q&A and Reviews
- Where can 8 year old learn internal/emotional regulation?
- Child therapist for aftermath of 8 year old's brain tumor
- 7yo is having serious problems at school
- Therapist for 9-year-old's anger and frustration
- Therapist for 9-year-old with anxiety and insecurity
- Therapist for depressed 9-year-old
- Therapist for 9-year-old step-daughter
- Play therapist for six-year-old girl
- Therapist for 9 year old with anxiety/anger
- Therapist for very emotional 7-year-old
- Earlier Recommendations
Where can 8 year old learn internal/emotional regulation?
Feb 2012
My daughter, who has been diagnosed with ADHD, has struggled for years to manage the very big feelings that she experiences more intensely than most. Now she's 8 and wants to behave in ways that are more socially acceptable and attentive to the impact on others, but has a very hard time regulating her irritability and anger -- that is, it just bursts out of her in the form of excessive rudeness toward others (which we do discipline but it continues). At other times she can express that she actually wishes she could not act that way. She's been in play therapy, but I think she would benefit from some sort of CLASS OR THERAPY that would actually teach her self-regulation. Yoga and meditation have helped me with this as an adult, but I want something really targeted for her. She quit karate after a couple lessons, so I don't think martial arts of that type will work. We'd love to hear other ideas for specific classes or therapy. Seeking Regulation
I highly recommend Communication Works. From their website at http://www.cwtherapy.com/centerservices.html ''The Center at Communication Works (CW) provides a variety of comprehensive services including evaluations; consultation; and intervention for speech, language, occupational, self-regulation, and sensory processing challenges for people of all ages.'' I have a daughter with ADHD who has trouble with social integrations, self regulation, social anxieties, some sensory issues. She is highly sensitive and, as a consequence, is overly reactive. She is in a small group therapy with 2 other same age girls. She likes going there as the teaching approach is playful, and the group is very well mixed. They pay a lot of attention to the combination of the groups, and the therapists are very in tune with the kids and the parents. We receive a wrap up after each session, and home work. It is not a quick fix, but it is a great resource for us. It is located in Oakland, 3 min. off 580 exit Keller Ave. Well worth my weekly drive from North Berkeley. Hope you will find the right help for your child.
You are looking for Mar Rem Remington. She is a therapist who specializes in kids who she calls ''wired differently''. She was also a special ed teacher for many years before this. Our daughter has grown and changed a lot in the last year of working with Mar Rem. She not only works with your child, but she will work with you, too, since parenting kids with these challenges requires some different strategies. She also does school observations and consultations. We worked with 2 other therapists before this, but Mar Rem really knows how to help kids like this. Her office is in Berkeley. 510-835-4357. dawn
Hi, My daughter has benefitted greatly from being in Devin Berry's mindfulness and meditation group for 5-7 year- olds. I'm not sure if he does one for older kids or whether private lessons would be an option. As a clinical psychologist who thinks about emotion regulation issues I would say that, from what you describe, some one-on-one sessions would be really beneficial. You can read more about him here: http://deeperstillforteens.org/teachers/devin-berry/ He's just a very nice guy, warm, calm but energetic, knowledgeable and seems really interested in making it fun and engaging for kids. We're big fans. His phone number is 510-501-0201 and his email address is devinberry [at] gmail.com Susan
Communication Works in Oakland offers emotional regulation therapy and groups. http://www.cwtherapy.com/index.html Best!
Child therapist for aftermath of 8 year old's brain tumor
Feb 2012
My 8 year old son had a non-malignant but very consequential brain tumor removed a few months ago. He is still recovering and doing ok medically but is faced with many losses of his former life and former good health. Does anyone have a recommendation for an experienced child therapist who could help him grieve his losses and cope with the continued challenges of his new life? Someone in the Berkeley area would be most convenient. Concerned mom
I highly recommend Dr. Lester Isenstadt for your child with the aftermath of a brain tumor. Dr. Isenstadt is a Psychiatrist with 30+ years experience and interest in brain chemistry, AND he does his own therapy directly with his patients. His bredth of knowledge about brain function and development was very helpful for our daughter, and we still consult with Dr. Isenstadt whenever we see other professionals (ex: Kaiser) to get a trusted 2nd opinion. We first discovered him because we saw a child start to thrive who had been highly depressed and anxious and asked the parents what was helping their child. We have found Dr. Isenstadt's insight, vision, compassion, and effective treatment over a 5 year period to be invaluable. Further, he always found gracious ways to move us forward on decisions affecting our child even though my husband and I often disagreed about things like need for medication. Wishing you all the best
7yo is having serious problems at school
Nov 2010
can anyone refer a good child psychologist who deals with kids. My son who is diagnosed with asd (autism spectrum disorder) is about to be 7 years old. He is having serious problems at school. He is verbal but acts out with violence at times. The school suggested a psychologist. If anyone has any references, i would really like some referrals or suggestions. Thank you.
I highly recommend Alison Ehara-Brown. She is a well known and respected therapist who uses all the great modalities including sand tray, etc. Her office is on Solano in Berkeley. She worked with my daughter as she transitioned into a new school and was suddenly confronted with ''girl drama''. She is now working with my son who is a constant target for bullying. She is kind and knowledgeable and my kids love her. Lisa
Therapist for 9-year-old's anger and frustration
June 2008
Our 9 year old daughter is having trouble managing her emotions, anger and frustration. We're at a loss as to how to handle the situation and have decided that we need to seek therapy. Does anyone have any recommendations?
The nonprofit agency I work for, JFCS/East Bay, has an amazing team of therapists with particular expertise in early childhood and grade school-aged kids. I highly recommend them and definitely think that your daughter would be well-served. I know it sounds biased, but they really are wonderful--so much so that when we had a crisis at my son's preschool, I asked one of my co-workers to come in and give a presentation for parents and teachers about the specific issues we were dealing with. The main office is conveniently located in downtown Berkeley. If you're interested, please call (510) 704-7475, ext. 700, which is the intake extension. All the best, Holly
Therapist for 9-year-old with anxiety and insecurity
April 2008
My nine-year-old son has a lot of anxiety and insecurity and we're looking for a therapist who could help. Does anyone have a recent referral? Either a man or a woman therapist would be fine. We're eager to help our son. Thank you. anon
My son went to Sara Grunstein for awhile for anxieties and she is great. Very experienced with children and their development, very loving and relaxed. Also very good at helping parents to understand the different phases of development and how to help your child through it. 548-0161 She's located by Andronicos on Telegraph. Anon
I highly recommend Jason Brand, a therapist who has an office near 4th street in Berkeley (and I think he also has an office in SF). Jason worked with our 10 year old son. He's on the younger side, so he connects well with kids. Our son was anxious about ''seeing someone'' but Jason put him at ease right away. He specializes in technology-related issues with families (families with issues about video games, cell phone, or internet ) but we went to get help about our son's social anxiety issues. His approach was very helpful to my son and also for us as parents. I highly recommend him for family therapy and for child therapy. His number is (510) 488-3093. Good luck! Anon
Therapist for depressed 9-year-old
Feb 2008
Can anyone recommend a therapist (psychlogist? family therapist? psychiatrist? not even sure what kind....) for a 9 year old who seems to be chronically depressed (unhappy, angry, self-hating, explosive all the time)? We are Kaiser members, so would be interested in recommendations there, but are not averse to going the private route for the right person. Need help!
My 7 years old have been going to DR. Martinez in Berkeley. She does cognitive therapy. My son is doing much better after just 6 sections although his problem was anxiety and panic attacks. Her phone number is (510)652-4455 x14. She is in Oakland on College Av. She does not accept insurance or it is ship, but work. Been there
Therapist for 9-year-old step-daughter
Jan 2008
I have a 9-year old step-daughter who lives with my husband and me 50% of the time. My husband and I have been together since my step-daughter was 5 and ever since then (and before I was ever in the picture - hence the separation) her mother's irrational and manipulative behavior has become more and more extreme. My step-daughter's mother and my husband were never married and together until she was 1.
My step-daughter is (understandably) very loyal to her mother even though she is beginning to verbally question her mother's behavior (to me, not to her mother or father). I am concerned. She is learning from her mother that it is okay to get what you want through anger, yelling, manipulative and controlling behavior. She does not 'test' her mother because she is afraid of her mother's reaction and of ''making her mad'' (her father and I have made a CPS report in the past). When she is with us she is testing testing 1,2,3,4. As of late the lying has reached new proportions and has, to the mother in me, become more frustrating and upsetting. However, the therapist in me can chalk some (certainly not all) of it up to the fact that she is testing us because she trusts us.
I think that it would be in her best interest to have someone to talk to separate from and in addition to my husband and me. I am a therapist (but am not very familiar with others in this area). I see a lot of Borderline features in her mother and am seeing more and more troubling patterns of behavior in my step-daughter (lying, manipulating, playing the victim) that are beyond what I would consider 'normal' for her age group. As she has gotten older, I have become more concerned. We would like to work with someone who is familiar and comfortable with these issues (separation of parents, Borderline personality disorder, 'blended' families). We are in the Berkeley area. Thanks so much! Concerned step-mom
Bobbie Schear, 655-7240, is a very insightful therapist who understands plenty about kids, and she's very compassionate and passionate about kids. She uses sandtray therapy (all kinds of sand, all kinds of objects to deal with). She also works with kids who are have a difficult time communicating, and she often will cook with them. (The child usually decides what they will cook together, and she'll talk with them through the safety of cooking a recipe.) she's also very smart, and I believe she has a PhD, so she's familiar w/ standard diagnoses, and I know she's dealt w/ a wide variety of problems with kids (and adults as well). I don't know for sure what networks she's on, but I know she was on MHN, so may be available through others as well.
My step-son had great success with Dr. Lisa Lancaster (in Berkeley 510-841-2525). We were dealing with what sounds like some similar issues with him and his mother. Dr. Lancaster was excellent and I would recommend her without reservation. Hope she can help you too. anon
Play therapist for six-year-old girl
May 2007
I'm adopting my six-year-old great niece who, along with her three younger siblings, was removed from her parents in Washington by CPS a year ago. Her parents are drug addicts with little hope of recovery, and she hasn't seen either parent for over a year. She's adjusted extremely well to living with me, my husband, and 12 year old son , but grieves deeply for her ''mommy'' and her siblings. She has a lot to work through and is angry and sad. Her kindergarten teacher (and I agree) that she would benefit greatly from working with a specialist in play therapy. She's back to wetting herself at school and regularly sobs to her teacher about missing her family. Can anyone kindly recommend an effective therapist for a six year old? The therapist must be a woman because she has some issues with males that we don't yet understand. I would be very grateful to receive recommendations for therapist in the East Bay, along with an explanation of why you find this person effective. Thank you.
We had terrific results with a play therapist about 6 years ago. She worked with my then-4 year old who was tantruming frequently (and had lots of other things going on, which we also started to treat). We saw her in Berkeley, but she also had an office in SF. Jane Rubin, PhD Play Therapist (510) 704-8759 (415) 931-0856 2434 Milvia Street Berkeley, CA 94704-1918 Good luck. - Happy play therapist client
I recommend Sara Brose. My daughter has been seeing her for over a year now and loves ''sara days''. She has a great office with a doll house, sand tray and a lot of figurines. I think she actually specializes in working with children that have experienced loss. (My daughter's father died suddenly when she was two. She is 6 now)
I also find it helpful for me because Sara makes sure to keep me abreast of whats happening in their sessions and helps me understand how to be a better parent for my child. Her office is on Howe street in Oakland right down the street from Kaiser Oakland. You can reach her at 985.2909 good luck
Therapist for 9 year old with anxiety/anger
March 2005
I am looking for a developmental psychologist/pediatrician or therapist to evaluate and treat my son, who is showing signs of OCD and other anxiety problems, as well as angry outbursts when he doesn't get his way. He is taking Ritalin for ADD (attention- type) and sees Dr. Landman in Orinda. While I think the Ritalin is helping him with the attention problem, his anxiety is creating almost daily problems now, and Dr. Landman always seems rushed and unsympathetic to anything more than a cursory discussion of his problems when he sees him. We would especially like names of therapists in the East Bay. desperate mom
I've heard excellent things about Michael Tompkins in Rockridge 652 4455...and have personally used another doc in that practice, years ago, she's no longer there, but the practice, in general iis excellent. My friend's son was treated for OCD with excellent results. kroisen
Dr. Stephen Walrod is an excellent, supportive and insightful therapist who is helping my 7-year old son with anxiety and anger issues. Across from Lake Merritt on Grand Ave. 444-4068. Good Luck. Also try reading ''Transforming the Difficult Child'' by Glasser. Been there
Therapist for very emotional 7-year-old
Jan 2005
My wonderful seven year old son is extremely emotional, extremely sensitive, and for unknown reasons has been having a tough time this year. Acting out, breaking rules, upset a lot. Over the last several months he began regressing, having potty accidents, breaking things, etc. We tried one therapist but she was in El Cerrito and we live in Oakland so with her limited appointments it was very difficult to make the schedules work. I read all the posting but havent found a match. Any suggestions for Oakland/Berkeley child therapist with experience in these areas? I have tried everything and am running out of ideas on how to help him. anon
My wife and i would recommend Ann Martin Center in Oakland/Piedmont border area (1250 Grand Avenue). They do excellent individual and group child centered therapy. My son went there and we were very pleased with the work that they did. anon.
Frustrated with child's behavior issues
November 2002
Frustrated, discouraged and scared from trying--without much progress--to work out behavior issues with one of my children, I need professional help. We have mental health coverage through our insurance, Pacificare. I've reviewed the archives and have found that none of the recommended therapists are listed with Pacificare. Am I delusional to think that I can find a ''good'' therapist who will accept my insurance? Can anyone make a recommendation for such a therapist or help me navigate this unfamiliar road? Many thanks, in advance, for any advice you can offer. stumped mom
I don't have the same health insurance you have so I do not know if they are part of your plan, but I have been taking my child to see Dr. Philip Gross. My son loves him and looks forward to our visits. While my son is seeing him, my husband and I meet with his wife, Miriam, a licensed clinical social worker. Their team work is very good and we feel we are making progress in dealing with our son's behavior, which had making us crazy. Good luck. been there, tried this.
7-year-old daughter prone to severe tantrums and OCD
May 2001
Our 7-year-old daughter is prone to severe tantrums and shows signs of obssessive-compulsive disorder. So far, we have met with a therapist at Ann Martin Children's Center in Oakland and have not been impressed - we can't get answers to questions like, Have you dealt with a child like this before? What kinds of therapies and theories do you believe in? It seems as if the Ann Martin Children's Center is more for troubled, abused children or children with learning disabilities. My daughter is more explosive (many thanks to those of you who recommended Ross Greene's wonderful The Explosive Child - describes her exactly!) and seems completely out of control during a tantrum. Does anyone have (1) experiences to share - good or bad - about using the Ann Martin Children's Center for counseling;(2) recommendations for a good therapist to deal with such problems? Many, many thanks
I highly recommend child psychologist Hilde Clarke, 420-1866, who works with children of all ages and their parents. She is very compassionate and bright, and really works with families to find creative solutions to the challenges they are facing. If she doesn't feel she can help she would probably have a good referral for you. She is located on Howe Street in Oakland.
I also have an explosive (I prefer to refer to it as falling apart since explosive sounds violent to me which is misleading) 7 year old who suffers from Tourette Syndrome as well as milder forms of OCD and Hyperactive Disorder. After flailing around with various doctors (we also called but decided aginst trying Ann Martin as we also felt they didn't understand these syndromes very well) we finally feel we are making progress with Dr. Thomas Lowe in San Francisco. We weren't crazy about going into the city, but he is so knowledgable in this area that for us it has been well worth it. His specialty is Tourette, but since this syndrome is so often linked with OCD, he also is well-informed in this area also. My daughter likes him. He's very compassionate about what both parents and child have to endure with these disorders. And his treatment approach is practical. He runs the Tourette's and Tic Disorders Clinic at UCSF Medical Center. The bad news is there is a long waiting list (we waited 7 months to start seeing him). But my first call (you leave a message) resulted in a personal lengthy call from him one evening in which he really took the time to understand our situation. So it may be worth a call, if just to talk with him and get some advice or perhaps a more local referral. His number is (415) 476-7213. Please feel free to e-mail or call me if you want to talk further about just living with this situation. I know how stressful it can be. Good luck. Cathy
Have you received a complete psycho-educational assessment of your daughter? I can't recommend this strongly enough, as it would help target appropriate interventions given her particular cognitive makeup (strengths and weaknesses). Going directly into individual therapy without some sound data on your hands (esp. for someone so young) and a framework for building an appropriate educational and emotional support network for your daughter can be a rather ambiguous venture. Holly
June 1999
Re: therapist for a child
For almost a year our 9-year-old has been attending a weekly four-child play group run by Toby Hendon (in Albany, 869-4534). It's been very good for his social skills, communication skills, and emotional stability. Toby's perceptive, gentle, intelligent, and effective; I'd recommend her for just about any child. John
Feb 1998
Re: Therapist for a child
We have been very happy with Jennifer Freeman. Her office is at 5th Street and Cedar, and her phone number is 526-2336.
Two excellent child therapists are:
Hope Dean (510) 649-1144
Peter August (510) 273-9568 Both are professional, experienced, knowledgeable and reassuring. They can help you understand and deal with children's upsetting feelings and behaviors. Pat
Feb 1998
Re: therapist for a child
I am familiar with a very fine MFCC (marriage, family, child counselor) therapist who practices in Oakland. He has specialized in working with young children for many years. His approach is holistic and includes both play therapy and use of a sand tray.
His name is Skip Roache and he can be reached at (510) 845-4441. If you leave a message for him be sure to leave a phone number and let him know the best times to call you back.
Whether you contact Skip or not, I think it would be a good idea to have your child assessed.
Feb 1998
For the person seeking a child psychologist: I recently consulted with Dr. Seligman, a child psych with a heavy psychoanalytic background. He was terrific in helping me learn about separation issues for my infant daughter. Very practical, down to earth. I recommend him highly. His number is 415 567 6369.
1998
Re: Adolescent counseling
Hi, You might try the Ann Martin Children's Center , Oakland in Piedmont. They are located at 1250 Grand Ave. 655-7880. or try Berkeley Youth Alternatives.
Re: Therapist for adolescent
I would reccommend Michael Simon, a therapist in the Rockridge area of Oakland. He is an Marriage Family and Child Intern (so he's less expensive than a licensed therapist who doesn't work with a supervisor) and does a lot of good work with children and parents. He's given workshops and lectures at family service agencies in the area, too, on working with kids and parents. You can reach him 510 433-2959. Myriam
We, too, have anxious tendencies, and our child started having anxiety issues around 9 / 10 years old. They were having issues with sleep, self esteem, depression. We tried CBT exposure therapy and it wasn’t for us. It is not meant to be for a long term and we do think the few sessions did have immediate improvement in child’s fear but the process was very intense. I do not doubt the effectiveness but we wanted a more warm and supportive / relationship based therapy. The work involved was so hard that the child refused to do the exposure therapy. Also, CBT / exposure therapy tends to be more expensive. I think it’s because it is meant to be a short term, targeted work? When we began exposure therapy, the therapist said she thought it would take about 10-12 sessions to address the 2 main issues.
We switched to a play based therapy at www.thechildrensinstitute.com and it has been working out well. Child enjoys the warmth, validation and gentle guidance from the therapist. We also meet with the same therapist and she does coaching for us. the improvement may take more time but the process is less painful for us and the child. The coaching sessions are helping us understand our child better.
The cost is a burden. Our child’s current therapist is $200/hr which is less than any CBT therapist we worked with or looked into. I think play based therapists charge anywhere from $175-$225 based on our recent research. Most don’t take insurance. We have Kaiser so we have no options but when we had Cigna PPO, we submitted for reimbursement and we found Cigna to issue reimbursements pretty quickly.
I am sorry you are dealing with this. Hope you find the help you need ASAP.
Hi, I am a therapist and would recommend talking with a few therapists. I think Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) would be a good place to start. But most therapists will assess if the type of treatment is appropriate for your child. And most ERP therapists are also trained in CBT, not always the other way around.
For parents there is also SPACE treatment (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) which is a way of treating the child’s anxiety through working with the parents only. It’s a great treatment for school refusal due to anxiety and childhood anxiety in general.
Unless you are scared for their safety I would not go the med route at age 10. You may end up on a non stop road of meds that are not really made for children. I have a lot of experience in this having gone through it with my own child. DBT therapy would be very appropriate. It has groups, parent training, individual therapy all as a part of it. Another option is Equine therapy. Both of these are helpful for anxiety and trauma. They helped my child immensely.
My child sounds similar to yours and we've had great success with CBT. It does take work in between sessions, but our therapist did an amazing job of getting my child's buy-in when suggesting new things to try. She always takes time at the beginning of the session to check in on general stuff - how things are going with friends, any new school drama, how the soccer game went, etc. And she must take amazing notes because she remembers everything! Which of course makes my child feel connected and heard. It's expensive, but short-term. We did a few months in the spring and successfully addressed panic attacks and some sleep issues. We are now back for some new stuff, but the expectation is that this will also be short-term.