Cortica

Autistic adult here: we've had assessments done in the last 3-4 months for both our kids (ages 4 and 7) through Cortica in Marin. They are mainly a therapy center, which we weren't/aren't looking for (reasons for that belong in a different longer post, but I'm happy to discuss off-list if you want to contact me). We found everyone we worked with to be respectful, not pushy, and totally reasonable for a one- or two-time interaction. Covered by insurance, cost us less than $100 for each kid. They are a little booked out for appointments but it's like 6 weeks-2 months, not months and months and months.

Autistic adult with very likely 2 autistic kids here, just piping up to say there's a huge overlap between being gifted and ADHD or autistic. All of those qualities are differences in your brain wiring that change how you interface with the world <3

We ended up doing evals at Cortica in Marin. I was reluctant to set foot in a place that offers the hugely problematic behavioral therapy that's usually the first line of "treatment" for autistic kids, but we had a generally pleasant experience with the doctor who did our kids' evals, and got what we needed. I expect we will never set foot there again.

I also looked at Summit, because I wanted something neurodiversity-affirming and non-pathologizing, but like all places that aren't "medical providers" they are VERY expensive (like upwards of $5000 per kid) and we just couldn't swing it. Cortica offers autism and ADHD evals, I don't know if they also do IQ testing (which has its own problematic "stuff" but that's a longer conversation). And everything was covered by our insurance so was less than $100.

You don't give much info about why your wife thinks your kid is autistic or an ADHDer while you think they're gifted--are they struggling with school? Are there other challenges?

You're off to a great start already. We did ESDM with our daughter the first 3 years and liked the program, but there were issues that ESDM was not equipped to address. We have now been working with a company in San Rafael (long drive but worth it to us) called Cortica (corticacare.com). They also approach behavior similarly to ESDM type models (child led, no reinforcers), but I have found them to be a bit more comprehensive. They also offer a range of services under one roof (ABA, neurology, OT, speech, music therapy, and other services to come). I love having one place to schedule with and I love having our clinicians work together. It's not uncommon for our OT, Speech, and ABA to have a co-treating session. I believe they are planning to open an East Bay location in the next year and I know they are in the process of hiring staff for the East Bay region now. I recommend finding the Facebook group East Bay Autism Parents. You can search previous posts and find a wealth of personal recommendations and experiences. My last recommendation would be to think beyond what experts are telling you. We were thrust very quickly into ABA - that was the primary focus of every recommendation. It serves a purpose, but looking back I wish I had focused more on medical interventions OT and Speech. Good luck!