Social Skills for Teens/Preteens/Young Adults

10 parent questions ▼
Archived Q&A and reviews ▼

Parent Q&A

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  • Groups/Clubs, Social Opportunities for Autistic Non Binary Teen

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    Sep 30, 2023

    I have a sweet, 15-year old, non-binary kiddo who was diagnosed with autism last year. They are socially anxious, which became much worse since starting high school last year, and now tends to avoid social interaction outside of school. They've attended a social group for teens on the spectrum (through Kaiser) and have recently re-started individual therapy. My kid is anxious, feeling low and lonely. Would love any recommendations on social groups or clubs for autistic and/or nonbinary teens or resources that might be helpful. 

    Sep 30, 2023

    I have a non-binary child who's also on the autism spectrum, and I can totally relate to where you are right now because we've been through a similar situation when they were 15. (They are now almost 18).  Here are some things that made a big difference for us in supporting our teen:

    Individual Therapy: You are already doing this, but we decided to get our teen into individual therapy, and it really helped them with their mental and emotional well-being.

    Executive Functioning Coach: We were fortunate to find an executive functioning coach who worked wonders with our child. These coaches specialize in improving organizational and time-management skills, which can be super beneficial for teens on the autism spectrum.

    Psychiatric Care and Medication: Our teen started seeing a psychiatrist and received medication to help with their depression. This intervention had a significant positive impact on their overall mental health. I didn't expect it would make such a difference and I wish we had done this earlier. 

    We've also found a couple of fantastic groups that have been incredibly helpful:

    Kate Elkman's Confidence Group: Our teen loved being a part of this group. It's a group for kids with anxiety.  My teen really connected with the other teens in the group. https://www.confidenceclubca.com/

    UCLA PEERS On-line Social Skills Group: Currently, we're enrolled in this 16-week online program. Both my teen and I attend different groups. It focuses on improving social skills, and it's been fantastic to see them interacting with their peers every week to work on these skills. I feel this program is really making a difference in my teen's social skills. https://www.semel.ucla.edu/peers/teens

    If you have any questions or want to chat, feel free to reach out! 😊

    Oct 2, 2023

  • Help With Social Skills!

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    May 22, 2023

    I am looking for some recommendations for classes/one one one sessions, or just some ideas for my 6th grade, soon to be 13 year old, daughter.  By appearance she is a pretty standard kid, plays sports, has friends, gets good grades ...  but I notice that she has little issues arise with different friends, sometimes big issues (right now one girl hates her and is trying to get others to talk about her too - she said she hasn't really done anything to this girl but the girl says she is annoying (I think she might be)).  I occasionally monitor her and her older brother's phones and I notice that she doesn't seem to always know how to act with friends.  She say "you can come if you want" when really she is trying to invite someone to do something.  She kind of lies, or tells funny half truths too ... she posted a kind of funny pic of a friend on TikTok and one girl said "hey, why did you post that?" and she said "I didn't" and the friend said "???"  Of course she posted it, so what did that mean?  She is big in on the gossip as they all seem to be, when I've forever talked about staying clear of gossip.  She sometimes acts dumb, asks really dumb questions when the situation or answer is clear (it really annoys her brother and I can see why). This one is kind of weird, I can see kids wondering what she is doing.  She also interrupts all the time and doesn't pay attention to what friends are saying so doesn't respond correctly and then may tell an off topic story of her own while people sit there wondering what she is doing.  I've talked to her about really listening to friends, asking them questions, learning about them.   When I ask her about her friends she doesn't seem to know too much about them. She knows a bit but doesn't seem to really listen or to be super close with anyone.  I don't know if I haven't been a good role model in all of this, although I do have good friends, or if she just doesn't really know how to do this but I'm not sure how to help her.  I've given her some tips and I've told her that being truthful with friends is the most important thing ... but I see the same behaviors and I worry that by high school she won't really have any close friends.  Any thoughts from all of you wise parents out there?  Thank you. 

    May 22, 2023

    I am no expert but I would suggest getting your daughter a full assessment to determine if she might have ADHD or be high functioning ASD. These present differently in girls. Some of the issues you point out with understanding friends, communication, lack of focus, etc could be explained. A diagnosis could really help explain her issues and help you find the best ways for her to get the help and support she needs. It would also free you from blaming yourself or questioning your parenting. You seem like a caring and empathetic parent 

    May 29, 2023

    Hi there - I am not a therapist or medical professional but I am wondering about ASD - Autism Spectrum Disorder. It would explain most of the issues you’ve raised. ASD presents very differently in girls, and if this were my child, I’d have her evaluated. Once you both understand what’s going on, you can design appropriate approaches to make her life better.

    May 29, 2023

    This sounds EXACTLY like my almost-16 year old daughter at that age. She had a lot of friends, but no close friendships. She went off topic and didn't listen well, and kids perceived her as annoyingly goofy. Two years ago she was finally diagnosed with ADHD (non hyperactive). We'd wondered for quite a while because of her spaciness and because her dad has ADHD, but it stayed under the radar because she had excellent grades and because it manifested as "dreaminess" rather than hyperactivity (which is common with girls). Anyway, she's been on Ritalin for almost 2 years and for her it's been life-changing. She is much less socially awkward because she's more focused and can listen to her friends, which makes her a better friend. She now has a lot of meaningful one-on-one friendships. Not sure if you've ever explored this possibility but we're so glad we did. Good luck!

    May 29, 2023

    Have you read Odd Girl OUt-The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons.? Bullying is a hot-button issue in schools, but female aggression (bullyung by exclusion, gossiping, and shaming) hasn't reached the radar of many educators.

    May 29, 2023

  • Social skills class for autistic 15 year old

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    Aug 1, 2022

    I have a 15 year old son who is diagnosed with autism. We are in need of an appropriate social skills class that addresses navigating sexuality and puberty. 

    Aug 1, 2022

    Hi - I have a recently diagnosed ASD 17 year old and have also been trying to find him in person social skills treatment - so far without luck, as Kaiser is doing everything online (don’t get me started…) But I did just come across this wonderful resource last night: https://www.php.com/. There seem to be some places listed that might be promising…? If you find a place that offers in person social skills for ASD1 teens, please let me know!

    Aug 9, 2022

    Is he pediatrician able to recommend someone or help? We had a good experience with a social skills group with Lisa Cameron Speech Language Center in Orinda. I suggest reaching out to speech language providers to see if they are able to hold sessions to address these topics or if they know of a good resource/provider. Good luck!

    Aug 10, 2022

  • Social skills therapy recs. for an 18 year old high schooler?

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    May 25, 2022

    Hello.  My daughter's school is requiring that she begin social skills therapy, either group or individual, before returning in the fall to finish the second semester of her senior year.  She attends a school with a therapeutic component for kids with mild to moderate learning disabilities.  It's a great school for her.  But, she has been speaking very harshly to some of the other kids, including those who have little control over the behaviors that irritate her. 

    She came to live with us at nine after three years in the foster care system.  She is diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and non-specific mental health disorders.  She sees a therapist.  She is on some medication and so also sees a psychiatrist.  Her therapist is a little doubtful that she's ready for social skills therapy but our daughter says she is willing to try.  We live in Oakland.  I've reached out to the organizations below.  I'm hoping for other suggestions for teen groups (that take 18 year olds) or comments on experiences with these organizations

    Seven Bridges.  No current appropriate groups but might be able to offer individual online therapy.  Online school went really badly so I'm a little doubtful about this option.

    Social Learning Therapy:  No current appropriate groups but they have openings for in person individual therapy.  They're in Corte Madera but if she liked the therapist we could swing it in spite of the fact that both parents work full time

    UCSF - Center for ASD and NDD:  They don't take her insurance and won't do self-pay.

    Therathrive:  She's on the waiting list for RPG group for teens

    Thank you all!

    May 25, 2022

    Hello! While I’m not sure if she works with older teens, my son had group social skills classes with Susan Diamond in Alameda when he was 13 & 14. He and we (parents get a 5-10 min check in at the end of each weekly group session) got a lot out of her sessions and, while still a quiet kid, he made a lot of great progress during his time in Susan’s group. 
    Our son started during the pandemic, so all sessions were held on Zoom. It’s possible she is still holding them that way. If not, she holds group at her home office on the east end of Alameda (High St exit off 880). 
    I’d encourage you to check her out! Please tell her a fairly recently graduated family from Alameda referred you. 
    best of luck!

    May 31, 2022

    Hi parent;

    I'm sorry to hear this. You've got your daughter in a good educational setting and with other supports which is wonderful. I was in a similar situation (fost-adopt of child now an adult) and getting help for our kids can be difficult. While I had  insurance through my employer and could have easily added my son at no cost to me, I choose to continue to access services(medical and mental health)  for  him via Medi-Cal, which he was provided with as an infant. This was mainly due to the ability for him to recieve care from specialist without limiations (such as number of sessions versus with my insurance visits would have been "capped."). Does your daughter have Medi-Cal? If yes then contact her case manager from the county you adopted her from and they should be able to help you navigate the system to get her the help she needs.  The case manager might be able to get her "placed" in a group. 

    You might also consider reaching out to Willows in the Wind which is a parent support group mainly for parents whose children have been in or are in residential treatment facilities. Eventhough your daughter isn't in this situation, this a group of well educated and "connected" parents who have knowlege of every program out there. Many kids transition home and continue to need help, such as behaviorist. I found them helpful some years back and best thing is that they "get it." There is no stigma at all.  Check them out at www.willowsinthewind.com 

    I applaud your efforts and hope you can find a good behaviorist for her soon.

    Jun 1, 2022

    We had a good experience with a social skills group led by Lisa and Elyse at Cameron Speech Language Center. If they don't already have one that your daughter can join (getting all the right mix of levels, ages and skills together can be challenging and require a lot of patience), they can do individualized sessions pending space. They are quite busy, but both are very compassionate and adept! They are located in Orinda and don't take insurance but you can self-pay. https://cameronspeech-languagecenter.com/

    https://cameronspeech-languagecenter.com/

    Jul 6, 2022

  • Social skills for teen

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    Apr 18, 2022

    Hello Parents,  I have a son who's 17 years old . He is in a mild moderate special day class in San Ramon. I am looking for a summer camp or support group that focuses on social skills.  I am in San Ramon, but will to travel a bit out for him. Thank you, Natalie

    Apr 18, 2022

    Hi! Fellow San Ramon mom here. Quest Therapuetics in Danville is probably the best place for a summer Social Skills camp that you could find. They are pricey and will likely be filled up quickly but they are covered by Regional Center if your child is a client. There are also good weekly social skills groups at Therapy At Play in SR.

    Apr 25, 2022

  • 20yr olds social skills

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    Feb 15, 2021

    Our 19yr old nephew is staying w us for the semester. His 21yr old sister lives in town and has a girlfriend so we’ve had lots of time w 20-ish family recently, which has mostly been awesome! One thing I’ve noticed is that none of them are very good at conversation, especially the back and forth part. Each of them seems comfortable talking about themself, but none of them has asked me, or my wife, a single question about our lives or work or how I made the salad dressing.. nothing!! Maybe they do this friends and not older adults? I’m seeing this same thing developing in my 10 and 14yr kids, even though we model good social skills. What do we do? Did u train your kids in how to do this? Will they eventually get it in their own? Thanks in advance!

    Feb 15, 2021

    Such a good question!!!  I’m wondering about this too. I get tumultuous sighs when I ask my teenagers questions about their day. Or barking one word answers. I think it’s screens/remote learning, etc.   Kids need to be reminded that people want to hear what they have to say no matter how mundane because that’s how you get to know people and learn communication skills.  I’m so interested to hear other people’s answers!!!  

    Feb 22, 2021

    My girlfriend and I just had this conversation last night!  My kids are 21, 19, and 16, and this is a troubling trend we’ve noticed too.  My 16 y. o. son is the most socially awkward, and has trouble reading a room, but absolutely cannot have a comfortable conversation without it being about something he’s passionate about. My daughters can, but really only like to talk about themselves, and rarely ask how my week was, or if I have plans for the weekend, or what I think about something.  They are extremely self-centered, despite being taught to care for others.  I don’t get it, and don’t remember being that way, myself, but maybe it’s just a developmental thing.  I do try to encourage my son to ask me how my week was, after he’s told me all about his (we have 2 households), but that doesn’t seem to stick.  Can’t wait to read the answers for this question.  Thank you for asking it!  

    Feb 22, 2021

    Interesting question! My kids are currently 19 and 16 and are generally pretty good at holding up their ends of a conversation though both might prefer to be in front of a screen! When I think about what might have helped them develop skills in this area, several things come to mind-- we always have family dinner, every night no matter what.  And we've built an expectation that we will have a pleasant conversation during dinner (no screens EVER, no arguing EVER).  I might share a funny story from my workday or note something which happened in the news which I think is important or interesting. The kids often have interesting comments and perspectives which spark further conversation. When they were younger we had a habit of going around the table and each sharing a 'highlight' from our days. When we have guests over for dinner (not lately!), I try to model polite engaging, reciprocal conversation in front of them (as opposed to letting them leave the table or room prematurely because they are bored or want to do their own thing) and often they join in. I also discourage them from having earbuds in while we are in the car-- I do let them pick the music in the car sometimes though, and that gives us something else to share and talk about.

    Having said all this, I realize that the conversation flows a lot less freely with my 20-something year old nephew when we see him, unless it's primarily about his projects-- so i do think there is something developmental going on as well with teens and young adults. And maybe something cultural-- in many cultures there is much more emphasis on explicitly greeting other people (esp older ones), asking them about their lives, being warm and welcoming, etc. The U.S. is not really much of a hospitality culture compared to much of the rest of the world; we tend to focus more on efficiency than warmth. 

    Feb 22, 2021

    Our kid went to the Urban School in SF. One of the aspects of the school that was most striking to me was that the teens were all genuinely engaged when talking to adults. They would come up to us, introduce themselves, and start a genuine conversation. I'm still amazed to think back on it. I don't know what it is about that particular school, but those teens gave me hope whenever I encountered someone in their teens/20s who could only talk within their own bubble of interest.

    However, I don't know if it is a developmental stage. The person I know who is the absolute worst about this is my 85 year old father. On the phone he will ask how I am, but becomes very obviously bored if my reply is more than two sentences long. If I bring up a topic that I think might be of mutual interest, he is only interested when he can turn it into something about the people he has met with whom he is impressed, their accomplishments, his accomplishments. For example, when Donna Shalala was head of HHS under Clinton, any mention of government, politics, or the presidency was guaranteed to become a tribute to Secretary Shalala, with whom he had worked in the past. He is so self-absorbed that after years of High Holy Day services with myself and three of my younger cousins, he still hasn't made the effort to tell them apart (they look nothing alike). This isn't new, nor attributable to aging; he has always been like this. I love my father, and we actually have a great deal in common, but I can only take a few hours of interaction with him before I want to tear my hair out. 

    Mar 1, 2021

    Hi,

    I think there are a few things going on, probably at the same time:

    1 - You are probably not that interesting to them.  I remember being an older teen young adult, and I was not that interested in my mom and her friends.  I kept up my end of a polite conversation but I don't remember asking a lot of questions.  Are they able to have back and forth conversations with each other?

    2 - Some of it is innate: My older daughter has always asked family about their days, even her little sister.  My younger daughter had to be told by a therapist to do this ask people questions.  Its not because she is self centered, but is very self conscious and is one of those people who is always thinking about what they are going to say so they don't sound stupid.  If you are talking about yourself, you are an expert.  This could be going on when they are talking to you, they may be feeling very self conscious.

    3 - The 'rona.  No one is doing anything at all much less anything worth talking about and I think every single one of us is on a depression spectrum right now. 

    Much like in any relationship, you've got to ask for what you want.  Tell them about your day, THEN ask them about theirs.  They will either get the hint or not come visit.

    Mar 2, 2021

  • Seeking Social Skills Coach for Young Adult

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    Mar 2, 2020

    Seeking a social skills coach / group for an introverted young adult who finds it difficult to connect easily in unfamiliar situations (e.g., job interviews, group settings with strangers, etc.)

    Mar 2, 2020

    We have 1st hand experience with a great social coach/ therapist & ASD expert in Orinda. Dr. Joshua Wilson works with many young adults on the spectrum & is in process of putting together a small group together to practice social skills. HTH

    Mar 11, 2020

  • ISO of Social Skills Groups for Middle Schooler

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    Aug 23, 2018

    I'm ISO of a social skills group in the East Bay for a middle school aged boy recently diagnosed with Autism. Any leads would be appreciated. 

    Aug 23, 2018

    Have you considered occupational therapy in a group setting? I like Outdoor Kids OT: https://www.outdoorkidsot.com/. I have not worked with them directly yet, but had a great conversation with the lead at the recommendation of my pediatrician for my son with sensory processing issues. Social skills seemed among the things they focused on.

    Aug 29, 2018

    Try Seven Bridges Therapy in Oakland. My son goes to a weekly group there.

    Aug 29, 2018

  • Seeking Social skills group for 12 year old daughter

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    Apr 12, 2018

    Hello.

    I am wondering if anyone has any recommendations on social skill groups for preteens? My 12 year old daughter is struggling with making friends and I'd like to get her in programs to improve her social skills. I have done some online searching but they all seem to be either way in SF, Marin or the South Bay areas.  We live in El Cerrito and it would be nice to find something not too far like in Berkeley, Oakland or anywhere else that is close in proximity. If anyone can point to a place they have used or know about, please share! thanks! 

    Apr 12, 2018

    Communication Works in Oakland has excellent social skills groups. 

    Apr 14, 2018

    Communication Works in Oakland. Also Maria Antoniadis used to have a group in Oakland but I believe  someone else is running it now. You can call Maria ‭(510) 336-1120‬ to get a referral to the group if it is still going on. Good luck! 

    Apr 16, 2018

    We've tried several social skills groups but by far the most helpful has been Think Social East Bay on Grand Avenue in Oakland. My daughter loves it ,and I notice a big difference in her ability to interact with peers. Shelly, group leader, can be reached at 510-444-8732.

    Apr 16, 2018

    My 14 yr old daughter attends a Middle school group at Kaiser Oakland.  When she too old for that group, we can choose the teen group.  It seems good for her as she has been wanting to go.  We looked into this because she has a hard time connecting with other kids her age; not aggressive or making trouble, just awkward and clumsy in social interactions.  

    We also looked into Communication Works which is no more, but they refer clients to 7 Bridges Therapy located in Oakland on Keller Ave.  925-708-9020

    All the best :-)

    Apr 18, 2018

  • Recommendations for middle school girl social skills group?

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    Sep 8, 2016

    Hi,

    I'm considering getting my 8th grade daughter into a social skills group this year.  Does anyone have experience they'd like to share about the girls'  groups run by Kate Kosmos, Shelly Hansen, Kathleen McCarthy?  Any others that I should know about?  We are in South Berkeley.  Thank you!

    Sep 8, 2016

    I highly recommend Susan Diamond in Alameda; her website is www.diamondlanguage.com She turned our child's life around from socially awkward to having close friends and getting along well with other kids in school. 

    Sep 15, 2016

Archived Q&A and Reviews

Questions

Social Skills Group for 12 yr old Boy

Dec 2015

I know this was listed before, but do any of you remember a social skills group for young teens, in Oakland? I believe it was weekday afternoons. Cannot seem to find the listing.

Also, any suggestions about a sport or league that is not overly competitive? My 12 year old is very gifted physically, but has an irritable and too-competitive nature towards teammates.

Thanks, Oakland Parent

A great sports league for those who are looking for something low-key and not terribly competitive is East Bay Flag Football (http://www.eastbayflag.com/home.php). They have a fall and a spring season, each 8-10 weeks long. They meet only on weekends, at a set day and time, for two hours, one hour of practice and one of play. The coaches are specifically taught to be supportive and make the experience all about having fun (e.g. no yelling at the kids, everyone gets to play, etc.). My son loves it, and so do I (and I'm soooo not a football person). flag football mom

Hello, For Social skills groups, check out the following for your son for January.

-- Dr Katherine McCarthy Regent St Berkeley
-- Quest Afterschool (various locations) Dr Bob Field
-- Communication Works on Keller in Oakland Sports recommendations
-- Marshall arts of some sort
-- Swim team
-- Rowing

-- Fencing

You might find Trackers a good fit or Boy Scouts (there are some very liberal, non macho, supportive troops in area) Hope this is useful Gotta a similar guy

I know this isn't exactly what you're looking for (Communication Works has more straight-up social skills groups for teens), but you might want to have your son give Abantey (the Roleplay Workshop) in Oakland a try. Right now they have some winter break holiday programs that he can try a day at a time, but they also have after-school and Saturday programs during the school year. My 12-year-old son has been doing Abantey for a year or so now, and he loves it. It is an interactive storytelling game (like a tabletop role-playing game) for youth ages 12 - 18, and can be ''a sandbox for testing social behavior in a low-stakes, fictional context.'' It is a cooperative game run by an excellent instructor who used to teach at the Archway School. Check it out at www.roleplayworkshop.com. (Link to Holiday Registration page: http://bit.ly/1TqHWch.) Good luck! Another mom

13yo needs some social skills training/therapy

Nov 2013

I think my 13 year old daughter exhibits some Aspergers like social/conversational behaviors. I also believe that it is affecting her ability to fit in socially and maintain friendships. After reading BPN and doing some research, I contacted Communication Works but they dont have any openings right now. Can anyone provide other recommendations for places where she can be assessed and/or perhaps receive some social skills therapy? Are there other parents of girls who are dealing with this issue? I'd love to hear a little about how you are handling this with your girls. worried and concerned mom of a sweet and sensitive girl

I also have a 13 yo (8th grade) daughter with social challenges. She is not ''on the spectrum'' but has anxiety, slow processing and some other mild neurodevelopmental differences. Communication Works was very helpful for us, so I suggest you get on a waiting list there. Maria Antoniadis Ph.d. In Oakland also leads groups for middle schoolers who struggle socially. Many of these groups set up at the end of the summer for a fall start, but some may have mid year openings. If you think there is an anxiety component, I would strongly suggest Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I also would like to suggest a good book for middle schoolers: SOCIALLY CURIOUS AND CURIOUSLY SOCIAL, by Michelle Garcia Winner. Feel free to contact the moderator for my email. You are not alone!

I would recommend Dr. Maria Antoniadis. When my college-age daughter had problems navigating middle school, we saw Dr. Antoniadis at her Regent Street office ((510) 336-1120). I believe she has moved, so you will need to google her current contact info. It was a great help and I recommend her highly. There are three components offered: 1) individual therapy; 2) group therapy; and 3) summer horseback social skills camp. My daughter participated in the #1 and #2, which provided her with the social scaffold to navigate high school and now college. pmog

After an unproductive social skills group at Communication Works, we found Susan Diamond. I can recommend her - highly, emphatically!! My son went from being the 'weird' kid being alone after school and weekends to having friends and invites to hang out. Susan is very practical which worked for our son; giving concrete examples of what to do in any situation. Plus, she is flexible and deals with situations the kids in the group bring up, which is exactly what kids need to deal with situations as they happen. Her website is http://www.diamondlanguage.com Grateful Mom

Teen diagnosed with Social Anxiety - what now?

May 2012

Our teen has been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. While I don't disagree with the diagnosis, I am very interested in exploring Alternatives to Medication. Chinese medicine, somatic therapy, chiropractic come to mind. Has anyone else been here with their beloved kid? I'm not opposed to Meds, just would like some options and to hear other stories. Please help! A Mom

Many anxiety disorders can be helped with cognitive-behavioral therapy(CBT)( classes can work, they don't have to be one on one). Any approach that uses skill's building would be good to help his/her ''tool kit'' and to pre-think events/situations that might make him/her nervous. Id' try this first. It might be great and he/she might be fine enough not to need anything else. Keep in mind that most folks need refresher courses from time to time, so you can't expect one CBT class to fix it all. If this doesn't help enough, you can try traditional one on one supportive therapy. Drugs aren't the only answer..infact for many anxiety disroders CBT is just as good as drugs! JM

Hi: I would suggest you start with Dr. Stanford Newmark at UCSF Center for Integrated Medicine. UCSF takes most insurance. His specialty is ADHD and he is very familiar with anxiety. He can recommend therapy as well as a non-prescription remedy that will help reduce anxiety w/o the side effects of meds. This made a huge difference for my anxious teen. And, continue to support your teen to help him/her overcome the anxiety. -Anonymous

Having a teenager who has overcome his social anxiety disorder I can tell you that in our experience, alternative therapies didn't help much. Some of them temporarily calmed the anxiety, but the only thing that changed his behavior and diminshed the anxiety was behavioral therapy. I can highly recommend Dr. Joanna Self. Her number is: 847-8139 and her e-mail is joannaself [at] sbcglobal.net Joanna was remarkable and very ingenius and creative with our son. She'll go the extra mile if she thinks it will help.

Our son did do meds for a short time, rx'd by a Kaiser psychiatrist, w/ no change. There is no guarantee that meds will help and I'm very anti meds unless there are no other options. Something else to consider is changing your teens diet (I know, a big challenge). Gluten sensitivity is known to be a cause of anxiety, depression, behavior problems, learning issues (not always but often). You might consider eliminating gluten for a month and see if there is any change. When my son went off of gluten (at age 8) for almost a year the change was remarkable. We also gave him high doses of Omega 3 Fish Oil, recommended by a psychiatrist, over meds. He took 4 caps per day. They helped lower his anxietey. Omega 3 is an important nervous system supplement. Hope this info helps. Good luck. Feel free to contact me if you would like to talk further. June

There are some simple protocols based on the Masgutova Method that you can do on your child. Brian Esty in SAn Francisco was very helpful to us. Some protocols you do before going into a stressful social situation, others have more long term effects. I wish you the best. Ann

Our son has been diagnosed with social anxiety as well, and we would also like to avoid meds when a good alternative exists. The recommendation for him was cognitive behavioral therapy, which has a good history of teaching people the skills they need to manage their symptoms when they are in a panic-causing situation. Like any therapy, it can be expensive, but at least it's action-driven, and intended to produce results [and have an end point!] after a few months. -jmf

Social Skills Group for pre-teen girl

Oct 2010

I'm seeking current recommendations for social skills groups/therapist for preteen girls. My daughter seems to alienate other kids while making efforts to form friendships and be accepted. She is slow to read social cues and looks for friendship in the wrong places.

My daughter attended Kathryn McCarthy's social skills group when she was 8 and benefitted a great deal from it. I highly recommend Dr. McCarthy: 2999 Regent St Berkeley, CA 94705-2146 Phone:(510) 649-3399 anon

Teenager with social anxiety

Feb 2009

I have a 17-year-old daughter who is having social anxiety issues. She is somewhat shy and feels she would like to attend a therapy group for teens who are having similar issues. Can anyone recommend a good therapist who runs such groups for teenagers? We live in Contra Costa County but would be willing to travel. anon

My friend Laura Soble (MFCC) runs teen groups for girls with different issues. I've seen her in action. She's really fabulous with kids of all ages. Laura is also school psychologist for The Raskob Day School. Her office number is:(510) 215-7300. Her office is off of Park Blvd in Oakland. Just google Laura Soble and it'll take you to her website. Good luck. June

I recommend contacting Communication Works - www.cwtherapy.com or call 510-639-2929. They are in Oakland, I don't know if that's close enough for you, and they have social skills groups. best wishes, laura

Have you considered a social skills group? My teenage daughter had some social issues in misreading others social cues and found Communication Works in Oakland to be very helpful. They had a social group consisting of a counselor, several other teens plus one model teen (without any issues) which formed a very safe and secure environment for learning and practicing various social skills. The group leader always made time at the end of their session to discuss what had gone on in session with the parents, so that we could better support our kids during the week. Check them out at www.cwtherapy.com and good luck!! Been There

Support Group for 13 year old aspie girl

Jan 2009

My 13 year old daughter has a dx of very mild PDD. While she misses social cues, she otherwise seems fairly normal. Unfortunately, she doesn't have many friends and I am wondering if there are any support groups for girls with this issue? I have heard about the role-play workshop, and am wondering if anybody has had any experience with them that they'd be willing to share. lastly, I am wondering if there are any support groups for the parents of aspie teens? thanks!!

I don't know about Asperger's per se, but my daughter w/add attended a social skills group with Dr. Kathryn McCarthy. Many of the girls had NLD, and the social skills worked on (in a very fun way) were very largely about turn-taking, checking to see if others were interested in your conversational topic, etc. I think these skills might also benefit a child w/Asperger's. Dr. McCarthy can be reached at: 510-649-3399. anon

I have to disagree with the person who recommended Kathryn McCarthy for social skills groups. She's a lovely person, but we got no feedback about the meetings or what they were working on. We were much more impressed with the speech/language therapist we saw at Communication Works. Her name is Shelley Henderson, and she has started her own private practice: Thinksocialeastbay.com. She trained with Michelle Garcia Winner, and met with us parents briefly every week following our kids' sessions. anon

Greetings. My 11 1/2 yr old son (with aspergers) has been in a social skills group for the past two years led by Shelly Hansen. She is smart and fun and creative and positive and has helped my son (& thus my family) a great deal. We adore her. Shelly has a Masters Degree in Speech Pathology and a Bachelors Degree in Child Psychology from UC Berkeley. Her office address is: 3756 Grand Ave, Suite 401, Oakland (across the street from Safeway). 510-508-9845 http://www.thinksocialeastbay.net - Ruth

Social skills group for 12-y-o with Asperger's

Oct 2008

Can anyone recommend a a social skills group for a 12 year old girl who has recently been diagnosed with asperger syndrome? mel

Kathryn McCarthy, PhD on Regent St. in Berkeley runs Social Skills Groups that are thoughtful, well planned and very effective. My 6 year old daughter is in one. She enjoys it and is clearly learning from it. Kathryn's groups vary in age and from what I can see are not co-ed--girls groups separate from boys groups. She is a great resource for our family.

Social group for 12-year-old with mild Aspergers

Nov 2007

Hello, My son is 12 and has mild Aspergers. There are no anger issues or violence etc. He just does not read body language, or voice tone very well. He is into video games, reading, and Role playing games...nothing athletic. He wants to make a 'best friend'. We are looking to find boys around the same age and diagnosis to form a support/play group. We live close to the Claremont Hotel. Please contact me if you have a child who may have similar needs. Thank you. P.K.

Hello, I may be able to help you. I run an after school, holiday and summer camp called The Roleplay Workshop. We've been working with kids since 1989. While our programs are not specifically for students with Asperger's, we've had a lot of success with Asperger's and other LD students.

Our program uses a roleplaying game called Abantey as an enrichment tool. Many youth are very interested in role playing games, as they provide an artistic outlet as well as giving them opportunities to be heroes in an imaginary setting. In the game, a group of 4-6 youth (grouped by age and experience) work together to solve a mystery or problem using the characters they create. They learn teamwork, communication and problem solving skills. Since our imaginary world is reality based, they work within a realistic setting, with real science and realistic consequences for their choices. While playing the game, they have fun and learn how to make informed choices, take action and take responsibility for the outcomes of their actions.

Students in our programs say that they love the sense of community and the creativity of the stories. Many stay involved throughout high school, and some have returned as adults to join our adult programs. Parents appreciate the variety of programs during school holidays, weekends, after school and summer, and our support of their student's school work.

We have a web page (www.roleplay-workshop.com) that includes listings of available spaces for after school, weekend and holiday programs. There are also reviews of our programs through the Berkeley Parents web site.

I wish you luck with finding an activity for your son, if our programs aren't the right fit! Rebecca Thomas; Director; Roleplay Workshop;

Social group experience for middle school girls

Nov 2007

It has been recommended to us to look for a social group experience for our 6th grade girl going to King. As in elementary school, she continues to be uncomfortable approaching her peers both at school and otherwise to chat or engage. She is quite anxious in social situations with peers but does well with adults. We are looking for recommendations for a therapist that provides a group for middle school girls to address cliques, peer pressure, popularity, changing bodies and other new challenges in this phase of life. Thanks. parent of growing pre-teen

Linda Pazdirek, MFT, facilitates a group for middle school girls. She is warm and lovely. http://www.lindapazdirek.com/girls_group.html
anon

Social skills group for 14 years old boy

Sept 2006

Hello: My 14 years old son struggles with shyness and lack of social skills. Can any of you recommend a group that focuses on these issues? Lamorinda would be most convenient, Walnut Creek and Berkeley are possible. Thanks mother

My daughter is in a social group with Maria Antoniadis PhD, 2999 Regent St, Berkeley, CA 94705 (510) 649-3399. She is very good. Also I ecently saw an organization, Abilility (?), offer social groups in Berkeley, and Walnut Creek. I don't know anyone who has used that organization, but their website looks really good. annon

I'm a teacher and I've heard great things about Communication Works in Berkeley and the two speech therapists who run the social skills groups. I like that the groups are run by speech therapists who give the kids tangible language skills to use outside of group. From what I've heard they evaluate each child and fit them into a group just right for their age and particular needs. Check out their website: www.cwtherapy.com. Their phone number is 530-3085. Hope this helps! Good luck in your search

My son went to a great social skills group in Berkeley run by 2 speech therapists. They are called communication works and you can contact them by phone 510-530-3085 or at this website www.cwtherapy.com. The group was well structured and fun and the therapists are wonderful. I'm pretty sure they have groups for teens. I hope this helps. Laura

It's not in Lamorinda, but there is a group in Berkeley that teaches social skills for kids with communication and social delays. They are called Communication Works, and they have a pretty useful website, www.cwtherapy.com Good luck! anon.

Support/therapy group for 12 year old girl

Jan 2005

I am looking for a social skills support group or group therapy for my 12 year old daughter. I mainly am looking for a support group for teen concerns, particularly social ones. Anon

My 12 year old step-son has challenges with social interaction, and we have used a group therapy conducted by Dr. Kathryn McCarthy. The sessions take place right near Alta Bates hospital. It has been very helpful for him to be with other kids with similar issues in a facilitated environment. Good luck

My daughter was somewhat younger, but greatly enjoyed and benefited from Dr. Kathryn McCarthy's social skills group in Berkeley. Dr. McCarthy is at 649-3399. as

Social Skills Group for Teens

May 2004

My daughter is currently enrolled in a social skills group run by Toby Hendon, an insightful, nurturing and very skilled therapist. The group currently consists of two high school girls and two middle school girls. For next year, Toby would like to break this group up into two: one for middle school girls and one for high school girls. I recommend both groups highly. Please call Toby at 869-4534 for more information.

Anger Management Class for Middle School Boys

April 2001

Anger Management/Social Skills Group for Middle School Boys now forming. Group on Wednesdays from 4:15-5:30pm. Jewish Family & Children's Services, Berkeley. Contact: Kathy Langsam, MFT; 510/704-7475 ext. 229.

My 10-year-old son has been in Maria Antoniadis' group for a year (and if I recall correctly, we were on the waiting list at least a year before that). I think she does a great job, and in all the time we were waiting, every recommendation I received was to wait for her, that she was the best. I also have a friend who felt her son benefited from Kathryn's group.
Desmid (May 2000)