Nanny Bringing Her Own Child to Work
Archived Q&A and Reviews
- Part-time nannies who want to bring their own child
- How much to pay if the nanny brings her own child?
- Pros and Cons of Nanny bringing her child to work?
- Fair Price for Nanny bringing her own child?
- Nanny is bringing her kids over after school
I have been looking for a part time nanny and most of the responses that I have received have been from mothers (who've nannied in the past) with a child that they want to bring. Is this typical for a part time scenario? I really just want someone to look after my rather rambunctious older daughter and newborn. I'm concerned that the pair on its own will be quite enough, and I'm willing to pay more to ensure that they are the center of attention. I'm also worried (although, that's why I'm asking here) that if someone brings their own child that they would give preference to their child's needs over mine. Anyone have experience with this on either end--having a nanny who brought their child or a nanny who brought your child? Need some perspective as I'm weighing my options. Thanks!
Hi there! I have experience as the nanny with a child. When my first daughter turned one, I wanted to keep her with me, but earn some extra money. I found an outstanding family who also had one child, a boy. This worked because they were the same age. I know my former bosses had the same concerns, but I'll tell you, it was the other way around, my own child got the shaft. I put that other kid first every time, probably like school teachers, afraid it will be perceived as favoring. Also, my daughter was WAY more relaxed, and easy going. This family paid me less, because I brought my own kid.
A year and a half later, I started to do the same work for another family. The also had a boy, whom they brought to my house. This family made less money, but they paid me MORE. Their thought process was, they are paying for a nanny and a playmate. I took exceptional care of both those boys. I taught their parents many things about their children that they simply couldn't learn, since I was with them 7 hours a day. How to get them to nap, bathe, what skills they were working on, etc. Having my own child there was inspiration to me, I didn't want her getting bored (i.e. I never once turned on a t.v.) Many nannies (no judgement here, I swear), sit at the park and talk to the other nannies. That's all fine and good. But I didn't. My own child was there, I wanted to raise her myself, so I got down in the sand and I went down the slides and I played monster, etc. Finger paint, teaching letters, you get the idea. If my own kid hadn't been there, I may not have been as invested. Or maybe I would've, who knows, I loved both those boys.
The fact that you have two kids at different ages adds new challenges. But I'd say go for it. Give it a try for a month. Maybe be upfront and let the woman know you are on the fence and it's a trial period. Then remember that any arrangement is hard. Your older child might like having someone to play with (boss around?). It might be a nice break for your kids to have someone else there as a playmate, siblings get tired of each other.
Both of the families I worked for still think it was the greatest thing they could've done, be it over 10 years ago. I still know both of them, we are friends now. Meet a few women and go with your gut. The mom who talks to her kids, makes eye contact, teaches them, they will do the same thing for yours. And isn't that the point? missing those days!!
We had two different nannies who brought a child with them back when we just had one kid. I'm not sure how well it would work with two children in your family, especially a newborn and toddler whose needs are so different.
The biggest bonus of mom-nannies, for us, was that it was a great way to get nanny share prices (we paid $11/hr) without having to negotiate with another employing family's needs and schedule. Our son also LOVED his playmates (one nanny had a child around his age, and another had a mobile infant who loved watching our big kid play), and it was a great way for him to get used to sharing attention while he was still an only child. I also think it's way less intense for little ones to be cared for by a new adult when you're not the sole focus of that adult's attention; we briefly had a nanny who didn't bring a child with her and my son asked the first day, with quite a bit of concern, ''where's her baby?!?''
I didn't find that either nanny gave preference to their child's needs--though I wasn't home while the nannies were there, we had plenty of neighbors ''nanny-camming'' on our behalf and it seemed like both nannies would just calmly tell one child that she needed to change the other one's diaper or whatever. It was very useful for both kids to learn to wait, an especially useful skill for a new big sibling like yours.
The two biggest drawbacks to this setup, for us, were:
(1) One of the nannies frequently bailed when her child was sick or didn't want to expose him when our child was sick--understandable, but it was why we ultimately gave her up. So make sure she has backup care for her child if needed!
(2) You can't ask a nanny to treat children differently, so make sure you are on the same page about discipline, sharing, etc. It's too unfair to the toddlers and confusing for the caregiver if one kid gets time-outs and the other doesn't.
Good luck! Hannah
I started out as a nanny when my little one was 6 months old. It was a great way for her to interact with other babies. As she has gotten older it has taught her responsibility, and she is very nurturing and loving towards the children I have cared for. As for me, I never new I could love other babies/children from other people. I feel, because I am a mother i am more intuitive and responsive to the baby/toddlers needs. In saying this, I understand how you would have concerns but I think mothers tend to be better caregivers . Spend time with the nanny and go with your gut feeling. Good luck heavenly
I think if you don't want a nanny who is going to brink her own child to work, and are willing (and able) to pay for a nanny to give 100% of her attention to your two children you should be able to get that. I know a lot of moms who are happy with nannies bringing own child to work and appreciate the savings it provides - it is cheaper since it becomes affectively a nannyshare, but if I could afford a nanny to watch just my kids I would prefer it and will look for a nanny who won't be bringing other kids with her to work. Even though I'm sure nannies are professional and will not consciously show preference to own kids, I think sub-consciously they would provide more emotional nurturing to their own child and it might inhibit them forming a good bond with your kids. If your child was an only child and would benefit from a play mate than I could see a benefit in a nanny bringing a kid same age with her to work, but since you already have 2 children, adding a third to the mix likely will retract from the care and enrichment opportunities your kids will have (taking good care of three kids and giving them all good attention and safely taking them for outings, etc is very difficult). I agree with your intuition and will keep looking for a nanny able to offer 100% of her attention to your children during work hours if you can afford it. anon
It really shouldn't be too hard to find a part time nanny that will work on your terms without bringing their own kid (if that's what you want). I've posted this resource here recently but please check out Care.com. We found our absolutely wonderful, local, part time and very flexible nanny within a week using Care.com. You pay $20 a month to access the caregivers contact info but you can view their full profiles,rates,location and pictures for free. Most of the caregivers are background checked and fingerprinted too. Good luck Care.com fan
We are working out a rate for a nanny for 3 children (from 2 families, but the care will be at one home if that matters). The prospective nanny would be bringing her own young child as well. She is asking for $8 a child, which seems high to us given that she is bringing her own child (and has asked to be paid under the table). 3 out of the 4 parents don't make $24 an hour (before taxes), so we're wondering if this is the going rate (and therefore we'd need to find something else). 2 of the children are older and fairly self-sufficient, if that makes a difference... broke mamas
We currently use an arrangement where the nanny brings her child and watches 2 of mine, charging $12.50 per hour. I see this as a good deal... it's not for a full day though, more like occasional babysitting. Not sure how it should scale to more children and longer hours. And no, you can't have my nanny
$8 per kid is a normal, acceptable rate for toddler/preschooler care, even if the nanny brings her own kid. And paying your nanny under the table isn't a reason to pay her less: it saves you money that you should be paying in taxes (not that I'm endorsing it). If you feel that $24 is outside your budget, consider offering a guaranteed rate of $20 per hour, no matter how many children she's watching on a given day (so she'll still get paid even when your kid is home sick). PW
Sounds right to me! I don't get your logic that none of the parents themselves make $24/hour. You obviously will be making more than $8/hour or you wouldn't be able to hire her. If you don't like paying $8/hour for personalized care for your child, then put your child in a daycare with less personalized attention.
Childcare work is exhausting non-stop work and requires exceptional patience and dedication to the well being of the children being cared for. I was the nanny sharing with my child and only one other child and not making enough to cover my living expenses and too exhausted to do additional work on the side. I eventually felt like both a crappy parent and a crappy nanny from the strain of not being able to even care for myself and my own family while making sure that another family's child was well cared for. Now I gladly pay a preschool more than your nanny is asking for per child to care for my child part-time so that I can make a livable wage.
Your nanny is making her living. If she is working any less than 40 hours/week for you or the other family then she will be just barely making a living wage if it is just her and her child she is supporting. (If you don't believe me search ''basic family budget calculator'' and type in 1 adult + 1 child for our geographic region). Make sure the person who is caring for your most precious charges is paid well enough to really put all of her energy into caring for your child the way you would want her to rather than overworked and financially strained because you don't think it's right that she make more per hour than each parent does on their own. worth the cost
I think the rate the nanny is asking is entirely reasonable. I was recently part of a nanny share in which we paid $9/hr per child when there were multiple children. I don't see how this should be any different because one of the children is the nanny's own child - the caregiver: child ratio is the same.
I might be concerned about 1 nanny with 5 children - you don't say the children's ages, so maybe it's ok depending how much older the older kids are, but I'd be worried about safety with this ratio.
Whether your nanny is being paid on or off the books shouldn't affect her salary - she may not have taxes taken out now, but she will lose out on other benefits later since she's not paying into them now.
Here are some informational resources about becoming an employer of a domestic worker: http://domesticemployers.org/employers/
Also, this is a few years out of date now, but BPN did a survey about how much parents pay nannies, benefits they offer, etc.: http://parents.berkeley.edu/survey/nanny2008_results.html Domestic workers need a living wage too
$8.00 sounds very good to me. From your message it sounds like you don't like the idea that she makes more than you per hour! What do you care? I've noticed here that some people don't like it if their nannies or cleaners make more than them. Maybe it'd be a good idea to stop comparing how much you and others make and enjoy the service these people provide. Our cleaner charges 25 an hour. Definitely much more than I make, but so what? I'm happy having her clean our house. I'd rather do my job (that I love) and be paid less than clean somebody else's house (or look after their kids). Happy to Pay
truth is... daycare is expensive. Whether a nanny or a center you have to be able to pay to get quality care. I charge $25/hour per child. I think you have an amazing discount here. Anything less than $1500 per month is a great deal! Take it and don't look back because pre-school is going to be more expensive. AND unless you all want to pay her benefits, think of her bringing her child with her as one of the benefits that you are giving her, so you don't have to pay her medical insurance on top of the pay you all agree to. -Kids are expensive- Lisa
Hello, My son is a year old and I have been trying to find a nanny for him. In our area (San Ramon), it is a bit diffucult. It seems like all the available nannies are taken. I have talked to candidate, however, she has a 6 month old son and wants to bring him too. What are the pros and cons of this situation? Would my son get adequate attention from her? What would be the pay rate at this situation? I am a first time mom and I have no idea on how to hire a nanny. Thanks a lot. S.
My nanny is pregnant and she (and we) want her to return, but we have the same concerns as you. With out any advise from friends, family, here or other forums I think we will just advise her to work at a daycare with her baby and we will get a new nanny. I'm just at a loss at how this can work. Bummer. Bummed Mom
We live in Danville and have employed three nannies since our 5 year old twins were born. The first moved to Colorado after 6 mos to follow her dream of rodeoing. The second was with us the next 1.5 years and went to another family of twins when ours went to preschool PT. She needed FT hours. We're on our third and we share her with another family. How hard have you been looking for a nanny? There are many out there. Are you offering market-competitive compensation? If you're not comfortable with him or her bringing their own child then perhaps you should find a nanny share -- someone who has a nanny already and would like to share the costs while caring for two kids approx the same age. A professional nanny can take care of two kids at the same time (it happens all the time) but what I'm reading in your post is wondering if her child will get pref treatment and yours will just be ''dragged along for the ride.'' Two dif issues BTDT
This is a very common issue when hiring a nanny. I except you'll get lots of responses from people who have done it, but here's another perspective I would like to offer.
For a woman without a lot of education and a small child, nannying is one of the very few employment options available. Minimum-wage jobs do not pay enough for mothers to afford childcare (esp. good childcare), so the only solution is a job where they can bring their baby with them. And we all know that those are few and far between. So by employing a mother as a nanny, you may well lift an entire family out of welfare and off poverty. It can really be a win-win situation.
Now, of course, you are not hiring a nanny out of charity, your concerns are about the care of your child, but I think that with some forethought this sitation could work out very well. First, you could save some money. Pay scales for nannies who bring their babies are often at the ''share rate,'' like ~$8- 10/hr. Second, a mom will have more experience (of the best kind!) than someone with no kids. You'll want to think through some of the logistics -- what happens if her child is sick one day? Needs to see the pediatrician? Does she have any backup care for emergencies? Will she need to bring age-appropraite toys to your house for her child? (This will matter less as the kids get older and the age difference becomes less of a big deal.) Other than that, just query her the same way you would if you were in a nanny share, or if you had 2 children - what would she do if both kids were crying at the same time? What kind of eating/sleeping schedule would she forsee for the 2 kids? What kinds of activities would she do that they both might enjoy?
In sum, it may not work out every time for every family, but in general I think it can be a really positive thing for all. anon
If your nanny is good and a pro her own child shouldn't slow her down, other than the sleep deprivation thing! However that slows down every mom of two kids when baby #2 arrives. I was a nanny w/o kids for years and once pregnant realized my options for employment had changed. dramatically. I went from making $18 an hour to being offered $12 until the baby was due and then being expected to accept $10. It was interesting thinking on the part of my employer that apparently my expenses would decrease once I became a single mother. I was very conscious of favortism, my son spent a lot of time in his carrier(when the BIG kids were running around) and became very independent at a young age, He also was the youngest of 4 boys(I juggled two part-time jobs.) The only thing I became selfish about was taking care of my violently ill charges when their mom wanted to ''catch a yoga class'' Prior to having a ''barfy'' baby and having to pay to do laundry I was open to taking care of sick kids. I probably would have continued to be open if the mom had to work Or if I was being paid a competitive wage. Since neither was the case and I had also been informed rather cavalarly that my son and I had proably been exposed to RSV(originally ''just a bad cough'') when he was all of 2 months old I was WAY more cautious. I nannied for 3 families with my son before I started a daycare.
When I had my second baby and found myself a SAHM I had a babysitter/nanny who was FABULOUS one day a week @$15 an hour. I didn't flinch paying her that salary when she became pregnant and eventually had the baby.She was little beat by month 8-she read and played a LOT of ''quiet'' games to my 2 and 4.5yo sons at that point-they adored her absolutely. When her pink bundle arrived, they were VERY patient with the baby, having to pick up their tiny toys before her arrival etc.
She took all them to the park, played catch and did all the regular things they always did after starting back-she took about 6 weeks off. I always gave her the heads up that my guys were illin'-she volunteered to leave her baby with her mom and come anyway. When her daughter was ill she did the same unless it had been a truly wretched night for the both of them and then we took a pass. Again she was a consummate pro. no regrets sydney
I am the mom of two and I watch another child 22 months (my daughter is 27months) 2 - 3x a week. They love each other and have so much fun together. It's a great situation. Many of my other mom friends watch another child as well. Pay can range anywhere for $7 - 10.
One thing I would suggest is to have a child closer in age to play with, a one year old can't really play with a 6 month old. I think it would be more beneficial to have the same age or a little older. If it was that much of an age gap when your daughter was 2 it would be a big issue. Also a 6 month old needs a lot more care, time and attention. And your child may not get as much attention as your hoping for.
Did you post something on Berkeley Parents Childcare? Maybe say you are open to having someone with a child closer to your child's age? Hope this helps!
Can anyone tell me the ''going rate'' for a share situation where the nanny is a mother who cares for her own child and yours at the same time? Both children are toddlers, if that matters. I've looked in the archives but the advice on this topic is quite old. Thank you!! - Newbie
We currently pay $10/hour for our nanny who watches my 7 month old daughter and her own 6 month old daughter in our home. Lucy
Hi - I've never done a share with a nanny bringing her own child, but am in a nanny share right now and each family pays $9/hour for two kids so she is making $18/hr total. That said, your nanny is saving money by being able to watch her kid and yours so maybe $9/hr is fair? Jennifer
When our nanny started bringing her own toddler (3 y.o) to work, she decreased her hourly rate from $12/hour (when caring for just our toddler) to $9/hour. $8-9/hour is about market rate for a nanny-share with two children, and when she brings her son the situation is like a nanny-share. Incidentally, they two really enjoy each other's company and it has worked out well for all involved Our nanny is in our nanny-share
I am a ''nanny'' and I bring my 2 year old son with me. I would like you to consider paying your nanny what you would pay a nanny without a child. Even though it seems like share care-- it isn't; your nanny isn't being paid by two parents and making a living wage. Even though she is theoretically ''saving'' money by not having to have her child cared for by another, she still needs to live! This is totally ridiculous--should she pass on her 15 bucks an hour to someone else to care for her child while she takes care of yours?! It is my experience that caring for other children is only enhanced by my son's presence. The children are wonderful friends and as a parent myself I would prefer my child to be with other children and not just an adult. I would urge you to do the right thing and pay this person a wage they can live on-- this is one of the most important and difficult jobs and people are so often mistreated. We expect our nannies to somehow do everything perfectly for so little money. Nanny
I currently have a nanny who I like. The problem I'm having is that when I come home from work each night she has her daughters there. She picks them up from school and they all go to the park. My daughter loves playing with other kids, so she loves it. My problem is, I don't feel I should be paying my nanny to watch two other kids. I'm paying here to watch my daughter alone. I worry that her eyes are on her kids at the park and not mine. Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill? Any advice/and or experience would be appreciated. C.
It depends a little on the age of your children and the ages of your nannies' kids, and it depends a lot on your nanny. My nanny watches my child with an eagle eye when she has her own kids with her - and they (who are 9 and 11) watch him too. He absolutely ADORES them, so while there are some downsides to the arrangment, I go along with it. But, I trust my nanny implicitly (and there has never been a problem). If I were you, I would talk to her about it. Tell her you love her kids and your daughter does too, but you want to be sure it isn't too much for her to handle all at once. Ask her some hypotheticals "what happens if so-and-so runs off to the slide, and my daughter goes in the opposite direction?" and see how you feel about her answers. Good luck! FR
I certainly don't blame you for not wanting to pay your Nanny the full rate while she is watching her own children as well. However, it seems that it is working out well for the kids (your child enjoys playing with the Nanny's children, she can adequately supervise them all). Perhaps a fair resolution would be to pay her less for those hours when you are sharing her with her own children. My Nanny brings her 2 year old with her while she cares for my almost 3 year old and my 10 month old. I pay her $12 per hour, which may be a little high, but the hours are a little unusual (2:30 to 5:30 pm, daily), I'm paying for 2 kids and I'd rather have a happy Nanny watching my kids! Good luck. Katia
I can understand your point of view about you child not receiving you nanny's total attention but I would say try not to make a big deal out of it. As long as she is taking good care of you child it should be fine to have her kids there. There are positives to this situation. Like you mentioned her children are able to play with your child. Also as a mother myself whenever I take care of someone else's child I take care of them as if they were my own hopefully she does too. One last thing. No matter what advice you receive ALWAYS go with your instincts : ) Nacole
The upside to this is that your daughter is learning to interact with other children which is something she will need to develop before school. Marianne