Potty trained 4 1/2 year old still refusing to initiate
Our 4 1/2 year old daughter has been potty trained since she was 2 1/2 but has never consistently initiated using the bathroom to pee. She will let us know if she has to poop and go in herself, but she can go literally all day without peeing (from the morning to bedtime) and often protests when we try to make her go.
Some context: since being potty trained she has basically never had an accident (maybe once or twice in two years) so waiting for her to have accidents and then learn to initiate has never worked. Almost every time we tell her it's time to go she protests, and often wants us to stay in the bathroom with her (even if she's only sitting). We have asked many times if it hurts to pee and she tells us "no", and shows no indication of pain while she's peeing. She pees every time she poops with no problem. She has gone from morning until bedtime without peeing (even when reminded/encouraged) and once went from bedtime the night before until mid-afternoon because everyone thought someone else had taken her in the morning. I have her go when I pick her up from school but it's a struggle and she isn't always able to pee at the time. If I'm not the one doing pickup, sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't. She has mentioned before that she is uncomfortable at school sometimes because she needs to pee, but this has never translated to going (either on her own or with encouragement).
Often I literally need to pick her up and bring her to the bathroom and even start the process of pulling down her pants for her to get her to sit. Peeing once she sits down is only a recent problem (before she would just pee once we got her on the potty) and we have had moderate success with running water for that. We have tried visual cues, a star chart, waiting her out, more liquid during the day, doing it during transitions, and several other strategies that I can't currently remember. We also talked to an expert a while ago and her pediatrician (who thinks she does not have a physical problem). I KNOW that this has turned into a power struggle, but because she can go so long without peeing, I don't really know how to get out of it.
If anyone has either any suggestions or a recommendation of an expert we can talk to I would really appreciate it!