Mediator, lawyer, financial planner for divorce
I'm a woman about to start the divorce process. I'm looking for a mediator, a lawyer to consult with before and then after to look over the mediation agreement, and a financial planner to consult beforehand about financial needs, as well as after to create a budget and future plan. We're trying to divorce amicably, though we may encounter some potholes over money (I have and make less money than him). Does anyone have any recommendations?
Jun 16, 2021
Parent Replies
First, I'm sorry to hear you are starting the divorce process. No matter how amicable you intend to be, divorce is a difficult process. Take good care of yourself during this time.
Second, I am also a woman and started the divorce process early this year. The power and money dynamic in my situation is quite unbalanced. You might look into the collaborative divorce process. Search for the collaborative practice group in your county for more information, including how to register for a free workshop that will cover all of the various methods by which one can divorce. Here are a couple of links for more information: https://collaborativedivorcecalifornia.com, https://www.collaborativepr….
I find the collaborative process to be supportive and true to its name. I'm early in the process, so we'll see how it turns out. Each party has their own lawyer, and the lawyers agree to work toward a solution that feels fair to each party. A neutral financial professional serves for both spouses, keeping financials highly transparent. My spouse and I chose to work with a neutral coach (typically each spouse has a coach) to cut down on costs and because my spouse accepts my desire for the support of a coach but does not want one himself. While the coach is a trained mental health provider, they do not provide therapy in this role. Rather, they help identify and address areas where either party might get stuck emotionally, so that the process can keep moving forward in a healthy way.
My spouse and I chose to go the collaborative route to better lay the ground work for some semblance of family life moving forward. We'd like to be able to be together comfortably during our children's major life events. Yet, we have complicating factors regarding young adult children who are financially dependent on us that could be very messy and painful if not handled thoughtfully. These factors would not be addressed, or even considered, in mediation or litigation.
I wish you calm during, and peace after, this difficult time.
Hi,
I recommend looking at East Bay Collaborative Practice - https://collaborativepracticeeastbay.com/.
They have some great resources available on their site. I recommend attending the divorce options class to start.
I highly recommend Sherry Peterson. Her office is in Pleasanton.