Dealing with Menopause Symptoms

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Archived Q&A and reviews ▼

Parent Q&A

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  • Women's OBGYN / Integrative medicine / Perimenopause

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    Mar 2, 2023

    Hi, I hope to get some guidance or recommendations for finding a doctor to help with hormonal imbalances, especially with perimenopausal symptoms. I came across Dr. Sara Gottfried's work and her book The Hormone Cure and other titles. I see she used to be located in Oakland but has since moved to another State ( and her client rates are far more than I can afford!). If you're not familiar with her work, she looks at women's health beyond typical mainstream doctors to look at women's health in a more integrated approach - such as recommending more supplements, lifestyle choices, and diet recommendations, as well as combining traditional Western medicine. Do you know of any similar doctors in the field or her team at the Integrative Health office when she was based in Oakland? I hope to find someone in the network. Thank you!

    Mar 2, 2023

    Hi,

    I cross-listed in-network doctors with the list in the link below, and found a very knowledgeable doctor in the Kaiser network. Hope it helps!

    https://www.menopause.org/

    Mar 8, 2023

    Following!

    Mar 9, 2023

    Thank you! I appreciate the link.

    Apr 11, 2023

  • Perimenopausal hair thinning

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    Aug 30, 2020

    I’ve been experiencing perimenopause for about a year. In the past six months or so, I’ve been losing a lot of hair. It’s not happening in patches (that I can tell) but I lose lots of strands every day. My doctor is very conventional and she will undoubtedly recommend hormone therapy and I’m not interested in that. I use a natural progesterone cream which may or may not help with mood balancing. I’d love recommendations for supplements or the like that would help prevent hair loss. I just started taking B12, any other suggestions?

    Aug 30, 2020

    I'm in the same boat and I've been doing two things recently that have made a huge difference! I use a serum from Young Living called Progessence Plus which has made a difference to various symptoms, and for the hair loss, I have been drinking something that a doctor whose name I forget, called "the red drink". It is a combination of a supplement called Sulfurzyme, Ningxia Red and water. The supplement contains MSM, which our body begins to lose, and therefore, the taking of it helps reduce and in fact reverses hair loss to a degree. The Ningxia Red is an antioxidant-rich, nutrient dense drink supplement that helps the body restore glutathione, and makes the supplement more bioavailable on account of it's unique ingredient combination. Happy to chat more about the science of the supplements if you have questions!

    Aug 31, 2020

    Sorry about your hair experience, I had the same awfulness, even my eyelashes were dropping.   Biotin really helped/helps--and it's simply a good supplement to take no matter. (Google to find out.)  Also, I became more consistent in my daily meditation & general health habits (water drinking, walking or other gentle exercise, sleep, food choices etc)  Ever consider finding a different doctor ??-- I like Dr. Goo at Berkeley Family Practice, while not perfect (wish she were a "functional" doc; mine/Dr. Sarah Ferguson, moved to Washington & since then I've sorta been my own doc (that's a long story) Anyway, it is 'okay' to let a doc 'go'.  Once  I realized that I'm the captain of my health team, then I let go players who didn't support (or mostly support) my vision of a team's unity, it's vision and philosophy of life. Of course, there will be times one needs a conventional doc, but I don't feel that doing menopause with a straight & narrow doc is a period for feeling pressured by him/her.  What about googling "functional physician" "Integrative health" per your insurance company, there are some great ones in San Francisco.  --- All the best.

    Aug 31, 2020

    Two things to look at:

    First, thyroid function. Something like 10% of women develop autoimmune thyroid disease, with diagnosis typically in middle age. One of the symptoms is hair loss.  It can be a bit tricky to diagnose, because like other autoimmune conditions it can wax and wane.  When I was diagnosed, the obvious symptom was rough-textured hair that was coming out.  The initial test (for thyroid hormone levels) was negative -- but the test for autoimmune antibodies was positive.  Treatment is thyroid-hormone pills.  There may be other hormonal conditions (other than perimenopause) that can cause hair loss, as well as other medical conditions.

    Second: Rogaine (aka minoxidil), the stuff balding guys sometimes use. There is also Rogaine for women.  It works for some types of hair loss, I don't know how well, the main drawback being the cost as the hair loss returns if the Rogaine is stopped.

    Aug 31, 2020

    Rogaine!  You can get it at Target (though sometimes out of stock).  My doctor told me it doesn't always work, but it is working well for me, after 3 months.

    Sep 1, 2020

    I was having this problem and thought it was due to aging/perimenopause. Then I realized that it had begun shortly after I began to use a strong over the counter retinol product on my skin. I read that too much vitamin A can cause hair loss and I found anecdotal reports that retinol seems to cause hair loss in some people. I quit using the skin product and my hair went completely back to normal. 

    Sep 7, 2020

    Hair loss can be a symptom of iron deficiency.  I'd have your PCP check your iron level.

    Sep 7, 2020

  • Fatigue in peri-menopause? or just fatigue? Help!

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    May 22, 2019

    I am sort of at a loss. I'm almost 44, no idea when my mom went through menopause or what her symptoms were. I have never been a morning person, and always found it hard to get out of bed in the morning or function for the first hour or so. But lately it's gotten WAY worse. It doesn't matter how much sleep I get. how good the sleep is, how much exercise I get, how much sugar I eat... I CANNOT get out of bed in the morning. Even if I've gotten 10 hours of sleep!

    Is this peri-menopause? Something else? Any ideas? I take vitamins, I eat healthy, I don't have much caffeine, and I've had my iron tested and I'm fine. 

    My doctor doesn't know what to do. Has anyone else experienced this??

    May 22, 2019

    Have you had your thyroid checked? Hypothyroidism is pretty common and fatigue, among other things, is a side effect.  Ask your doctor to order you at least TSH and free T3, if you haven’t had those labs run. 

    May 29, 2019

    I am in early menopause at age 42 and fatigue was definitely a symptom. I went on hormone replacement therapy and it has helped so much. Are you working with an OB/gyn? That would be the doctor to ask about whether the fatigue is related to perimenopause. The OB/gyn can test your hormone levels to see if you’re entering perimenopause.

    The other thing you should have checked is your thyroid hormones. Hypothyroid is a common cause of fatigue in middle aged women. I’m surprised your doctor didn’t think to check it. Treatment is very simple for most people (daily thyroid hormone pill).

    May 29, 2019

    I'm 50 and have been in perimenopause for some years. I've also always been a night owl, and I definitely have even more trouble getting going in the morning than I used to. But what you're experiencing sounds more extreme.  If there haven't been any changes in your daily routines (diet, exercise, sun exposure) my first guess would be a thyroid problem.  I have a number of friends whose first symptoms of an ill-functioning thyroid arose during pregnancy, but any hormonal change, presumably including perimenopause, could be a trigger!

    May 29, 2019

    That's exactly how I felt when I had undiagnosed thyroid disease. Have you had your thyroid checked? (And not just the TSH, but also Free T3 & T4 and anti-thyroid antibodies?) You might try asking your doctor to refer you to an endocrinologist. 

    May 29, 2019

    I have *exactly* the same issues, same age, same experience with getting blood work done. I'm at a loss. I'm looking into the DUTCH test. 

    May 29, 2019

    I felt similar for last couple years starting at 44 too.  I tried B12 and antidepressants, ect ect .. The worst was the brain fog that accompanied it. On a whim I asked for sleep study. Diagnosed w sleep apnea. First night using cpap machine was drastic improvement. I am shocked how this helped.  

    May 30, 2019

    Hi, have you had your thyroid levels checked? (TSH, T3, T4 & antibodies) Fatigue is a pretty classic symptom of hypothyroidism.

    May 30, 2019

    I would suggest seeking out a yoga therapist or another type of holistic wee-care provider.You can visit the International Association of Yoga Therapist to find one near you.

    May 30, 2019

  • Hormones, mood swings and possible peri menopause

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    Jul 5, 2018

    While we we do have a challenging ten YO, my moods are all over the board.  Mostly anxious, angry, fed up, sad and depressed.  I’m looking for a good functional medical practitioner or similar doc to help find a path to a better way.  Already have a talk-therapist but looking for something more.  Thank you!

    Jul 5, 2018

    Have you considered acupuncture? This wonderful practitioner was recommended to me for postpartum depression/anxiety/mood disorder - I have been going in for treatments about every other week for a couple of months now, and taking the herbal medicine she has prescribed daily - feeling so much better! She specializes in women's health, and is a mom herself (so she gets it!). 

    Dr. Jules Bogdanski

    info [at] julesbogdanski.com

    510-387-0852

    Jul 11, 2018

    I am sorry to hear you are going through all this, and relate it to all too well as I've been going through much of the same (somewhat different situation, but in the end same issues with emotions, anger, anxiety and depression).  You didn't say what insurance you have, which would limit which doc you could go to. I'm with Kaiser, and was happy with my therapist (Dr. Takaoka) and psychiatrist (Dr. Kim) there.  While any therapist you end up clicking with will be able to help, for me the medication was what really helped me climb out of the hole I was sitting shaking in and start thinking and acting more rationally.  In mental health, trial and error are even more part of the course than in other types of medicine.  The first medication I tried (the mildest SSRI that is usually prescribed to pregnant women and I know several of my friends and coworkers take with great success) made me manic after only 3 days on the lowest dosage.  So, I was told that SSRIs are not for me and the psychiatrist gave me a choice of two other different classes of meds.  I tried one she said had the least side effects although it also had a lower success rate in treating my symptoms (busparine), and I was lucky to find out it worked GREAT.  

    I am completely functional now, and have almost no side effects from busparine.  And, now that I am able to do stuff, I am going to start going to the "worry group" at Kaiser which I couldn't even think about before the medication (it was too much for me to get through the day as it was let alone go to a group ).  I did manage to take a DBT (dialectic behavioral therapy) class at Clearwater, which was helpful and I liked.  Clearwater is not Kaiser, it's a private company, so I had to pay out of pocket, and it wasn't cheap, but worth it.  Good luck, I hope you find what works for you.  Keep trying different things, and you will!

    Jul 11, 2018

    I experienced everything you described. My primary care doc prescribed me Lexapro. It worked! And when I began getting the heat flashes, my acupuncturist sold me Epimedium Curculigo and that also worked! Acupuncture has helped me and my daughter that suffers from major depressive disorder.

    Take good care.

    Jul 11, 2018

    Evening primrose oil and lots of  B vitamins (especially folic acid) helped me. Sometimes raspberry leaf tea as well. YMMV. 

    Jul 11, 2018

  • Trying to lose menopause weight

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    Jun 30, 2018

    I'm looking for a nutritionist who can help me lose menopause weight. Weight gain of 50 lbs or more over last 10 years; some of it fluid retention, which I'm sorting out with my MD, but not all. I have a fat baby in my belly that has exacerbated my chronic back and pelvic pain and makes it difficult to walk, move, and work. Clothes don't fit. Nothing I've done has worked. I need to see results, something, every week, even a lb lost a week would be a huge thing for me. I can't do this by myself any longer. Just losing any weight, using food as medicine, to help my hypertension and other things would improve how I feel. But I am lost when I go out to eat or to the store .... Do any of you have suggestions? East Bay and eastwards work best for me but I can meet up and continue with facetime or skype. Thank you!

    Jun 30, 2018

    Hi, I hear you!  I’m 50 and and have a compressed nerve in my hip due to my extra weight.  Dr. Jason Fung’s book, The Obesity Code, was the help that I needed to figure out how to lose weight.  I’m not on any medications, so I didn’t need a nearby doctor to monitor me and change meds as I lose weight.  I have lost 50 lbs in the past 6 months, which is pretty amazing.  Dr Fung partners online with the Diet Doctor website, if you like to have online support and meal plans.  The weight loss has come from diet changes, and I have been doing well enough to walk for 30-45 minutes each day recently.  It’s nice to be able to walk without pain.  I’m continuing  to lose weight, and I expect that I will be eating this way for the rest of my life to keep my weight healthy.

    If you are diabetic or on blood pressure medication, then Virta Health might be a good option.  It’s expensive, but it includes doctor visits (for monitoring and medication changes) and continuous coaching.  It might be covered by your insurance.  They are publishing their results, and the improvement and reversal of diabetes and weight loss is very impressive.

    For the record, I was not able to lose weight on my health plan’s recommended MediFast nor their nutrition counseling that follows the MyPlate guidelines.  Those were things that I tried first, and they just didn’t work for me, personally.  

    Wishing you success in your weight loss journey and better health.

    Jul 4, 2018

  • Perimenopause help

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    Sep 13, 2017

    Hello community,

    I am a soon to be 41 year old woman with severe insomnia and several other indications of having likely entered the perimenopausal years. The insomnia has been around for quite awhile, but some of the other manifestations are newer. I have not had much success with acupuncture, but am always open to names if there is someone who has helped you with this issue. Other than that, I would love to hear any ideas for alternative modalities that have helped with the various "conditions" (excessive heat, hair loss, insomnia, etc.) that accrue with this lovely new phase of my life! Specific practitioners would be great ~ in the East Bay preferred, but other areas are a possibility as well if the care is top-notch. Bonus points if it is affordable! Thank you.

    Sep 13, 2017

    Rachel at City Pulse Accupuncture in Oakland is great. I saw her for fertility issues & a friend saw her for menopause & really liked her as well http://citypulseacupuncture.com/

    Sep 13, 2017

    At 52, I am finally on the other side and full on into menopause.  I can say it's much better on the other side!  I had a 10+ year perimenopausal phase, the worst symptoms were intense and frequent hot flashes, persistent insomnia, and extremely heavy periods.  I found relief through the usual lifestyle recommendations: healthy diet including eliminating caffeine and sugar, regular exercise, yoga and mediation, good sleep hygiene, plus supplements.  I tried many but found Remifemin and Remifemin PM most effective, particularly with Traditional Medicinals Nighty-Nite Valerian tea (note there ate two types, get the one with valerian).  Valerian in tea form is a mild sedative.  The supplements must be taken regularly for an extended period of time to feel the effect.  None of this fully eliminated my symptoms, but reduced them to a very manageable level.  Good luck on your journey!

    Sep 13, 2017

    Hi!

    I feel your pain. I did use acupuncture for hot flashes and it, along with Black Cohosh (which the acupuncturist recommended) help A LOT. I went to Nancy Rakela on Sixth street in Berkeley. Her number is (510) 540-6267. Nancy had been recommended by a friend of mine who went to her for the very same reason. I would definitely recommend Nancy; she is very knowledgeable, calm, gentle and her office is gorgeous and relaxing. If I had trouble with insomnia, I would certainly seek Nancy's advice.

    Good luck! 

    Sep 13, 2017

Archived Q&A and Reviews

Questions

Any wisdom about handling menopause?

Oct 2009

Hello BPNers! I've hit menopause. Hot flashes, insatiable appetite, fatigue..the works. Who do you recommend, either regular medical treaters or complementary/alternative treaters? Any other words of wisdom about handling ''the change'' would be gratefully received. One hot mama

You can help yourself by changing diet and taking certain supplements. I'd suggest reading Ann Louise Gittleman's books ''Before the Change'' and ''After the Change''. She's a reknowned nutritionist and has great info. Sugar is the biggest culprit (for many health problems) so if you eat a lot of sugar, I'd suggest cutting down. Also caffeine.

I see a fabulous nutritionist in Bkly. Anasuya Batliner.848-8439. She looked at my whole health history and worked with me on supplements and diet, but she also had me do an adrenal hormone test (it's a saliva test sent to a lab). That gave us SO much information about my stress hormones, which play a huge part in menopause symptoms. I'm doing great now. Occasional minor hot flashes, losing weight because I was able to change my metabolism (I also eat really well and exercise...which wasn't always the case) and plenty of energy. Good luck...it's definately doable without meds. 56, in menopause and happy

Welcome to the Club! This is a fantastic time of life, if you look at it that way. The most distressing thing is probably the hot flashes, as these are visible to those around you, and may disturb your sleep. Mine used to leave me drenched to the point of needing to bring a change of clothes to the office. Here's what works for me:

-- Avoid Caffeine; switch to decaf. You can still enjoy the ritual of coffee without the buzz. Frankly, I find that I don't need the buzz at this phase of my life. Hopefully this will work for you as well.

-- Avoid sugar. In me, and some of my friends, this seems to exacerbate all the negative things associated with menopause. Once off sugar for about a week, you will see that the cravings for all kinds of food disappear. It's definitely tough going at first, but worth it.

-- Eat more raw foods; greens with phytoestrogens will help replace your own, and help reduce other symptoms. Ginger and edamame (soy) are fantastic at helping, too.

-- Get more sleep. This is the hardest thing for me.

-- Avoid stress. I've noticed that when I'm stressed, even a little, by something as simple as a thinking about a stressful situation, the initial ''burn'' of that hot flash can start, especially if I've had coffee, or slipped and had that danish for breakfast. By avoiding caffeine & sugar, eating raw foods, and getting to bed earlier, I don't experience them so much. Hang in there; these are natural processes, and you can manage them. Cool Dry Mama

Hello, I have been suffering through this for over a year. I know I am going to get a lot of flak for this but I am on a very low dose of Bio-identical hormones. They are not our mothers hormones. I just could not take it anymore. I was miserable. I could tuff it thorough the physical- hot flashes, night sweats- increased appetite... the emotional however was a different story. Tears, depression, anger, crisis of confidence. Changed my life. Changing on my terms.

Your OB/GYN would be a good place to start... even if just to see what s/he says. My acupuncturist has really helped me out a lot with herbs and such. Some lifestyle changes may be helpful. What was the most helpful for me was adding in some regular exercise... for me it was simply 3x week on an elliptical at the Y for 30 minutes. Some dietary changes really helped too. I did an elimination diet to start with... cut out all added sugars (except brown rice syrup), wheat, corn, eggs, dairy, alcohol, and caffeine. Drink LOTS of water. There is a product called ''Transitions'' that is found at places like Pharmaca or Whole Foods or Vitamin Express that I also found very helpful. And Evening Primrose Oil. And fish oil.

I ended up doing all of this because I really, really wanted to feel good. It is a lot to take on as a daily regimen, but it really worked for me. Good luck to you! Hot too

I am now 11 months without a period and at my worst (July 09) I was having maybe 10 hot flashes a day, waking up multiple times every night, absolutely exhausted, etc. I also gained weight. I went to the Doctor and we decided to try the following: no coffee or any caffeine, no alcohol, no sugar, no wheat. I also added a probiotic and vitamins and fish oil. I did this for 10 weeks and guess what? I lost 15 pounds and my hot flashes have dropped to once a week or so. I am sleeping through the night! I am still off coffee but added green tea. I have added back sugar and wheat but watching it. I may have to stop again...I am still not drinking alcohol.

It was difficult but I am just so pleased with the results. I needed a good cleanse! I have to say that I did get quite ill at the end of the second week which I think was detoxing. And the first days without my morning coffee were pretty bleak! Hot Flash Mama No More

Here is a fantastic website resource that I've been using for a number of years now, begun by women doctors who have a clinic in Maine. One of the original founders of this clinic was Christiane Northrup MD, who wrote the menopause bible, The Wisdom of Menopause. They do sell programs and products for hormonal balance on this website, but what I personally love are their women's health articles (the link below is directly to the articles page). You can also subscribe to their very informative email newsletter. These are sincerely helpful women doctors. http://www.womentowomen.com/healthtopics.aspx I find that diet and exercise are of utmost importance now. If you're already eating right and exercising, wonderful. If not, begin right away. This will have a tremendous impact on how you feel particularly going into this transition. * * Still Adjusting to the New Me

I was on estrogen creams for a while to help relieve the hot flashes, etc. I found great relief from the clear gel packs used by chiropractors and physical therapist. Got the long, skinny size. Keep it in freezer and when you get that hot flash and feel like it's 110 degrees, pull it out of the freezer and wrap it around your neck. Immediate relief Works for me. Cheap and drug free! - Anon

I applaud your looking for lots of different types of treatments. That's what I am doing...went to Pharmaca for some herbal remedies, checked in with my medical doctor, and am seeing a great therapist on Solano Avenue, Fran Wickner. Lorri

I have been seeing my acupuncturist/herbalist for many years for an auto-immune disease. I started getting hot flashes a few months ago. She put me on some herbs that totally did the trick. We had to play with the dosage, but within a week or so, my hot flashes were gone and have not returned. A friend of mine was complaining about dealing with hot flashes, so I recommended my acupuncturist. Same results. My friend had been suffering for a year!! Now her hot flashes are gone!

So, of course, I'd recommend that route. Here is the name and info for my acupuncturist. She is in Berkeley on Dwight Way, very near MLK: Roberta Lewis, 510-540-8528

After years of suffering with fibroids before menopause, I am committed to not having menopause be a nightmare! I started out early with night sweats so bad I had to change the sheets in the middle of the night, and that went along with the sleepless nights I was having as well!

I know nothing about standard medical treatments. I tried black cohash caps for quite awhile, and I did get some reduction of flashes for a bit, but it didn't last. I know it works better for some women.

What has completely abated my negative menopuase symptoms is a combination of acupuncture, chinese herbs and excercise. I rarely have hot flashes now. I sleep through the night most night and I have more energy. It's been a super easy for me, and after seeing my mother suffer greatly and so many of my friends go sleepless and sweat like crazy - I'm very releaved.

I did a series of acupuncuture treatments with an acupuncturist (Lia Willebrand) and she worked up a couple of different herb combinations for me. Maybe I did 6 treatments and then my symptoms shifted and the sweating stopped. If I start to flash again, and they persist for more than a day or two, I go back in for a couple of treatments and I might take the herbs for a week or two. I can't deal with cooking the chinese herbs no matter how much I'm suffering so I have a forumula in caps that works well for me. I also got committed to moving my body - whether it is walking, running, biking - something. This seems critical. I'm pretty psyched that I've been mostly symptom free and having a smooth menopause. I vote for trying alternative treatments and movement before going the western med route. Good luck! LTV

I've been having hot flashes and night sweats for going on 8 years now. My last period was over 3 years ago. Yes it does go on and on and on. I am 58. I suffered terribly those first two years, including heating up suddenly in small meetings of all guys plus me, and flailing around desperately for paper to fan myself with, and feeling I would die if I couldn't get cool. So I started carrying a nice silk Japanese fan in my purse at all tims (get one at the Asian Art Museum in SF!). I get a lot of compliments on my fans when I pull one out - most people think I'm just showing off my nice silk fans. haha. I bought a succession of desktop fans for my desk at work and my bedside table (check out the tiny but powerful Vornado fans = the best). Finally after a discussion with my Ob Gyn about risks and trade-offs I went on HRT which totally eliminated all symptoms. Heaven. Happiness. Stayed on that for about two years and then weaned myself off, hoping it was over. Hot flashes and night sweats came back, but not as bad. But vaginal dryness was unacceptable so now I have the est-ring, which is estrogen just locally (vaginally). Works great for the vaginal dryness problem, doesn't do much for the hot flashes but they are now getting fewer and farther between, so bearable. Hoping yours is not as bad as mine. But there are fixes, and you DON'T have to suffer.

Perimenopause with toddler

April 2009

Has anyone survived perimenopause, especially the impatience, to put it mildly, while parenting a toddler (who is no longer in crib, read: yikes and sleep deprivation!)? Single moms? Would appreciate any unique suggestions for soothing the savage beast (meaning ME!) other than the usual (bath, massage, get support...) thanks, in advance, for any inspiration!

Hi, I'm 44 and was in the same boat, and I decided to go on birth control pills on the advice of my nurse practitioner. The name of them is ''Microgestin Fe 1/20.'' You take the active pill for 21 days and then the inactive one for seven days (when you're supposed to have your period). As my NP warned me, there are many symptoms during the first three or four months as your body adjusts to them, such as off-schedule periods, endless spotting, a little nausea, and anxiety. But I'm very, very glad to be on them -- it has helped so much with the extreme PMS I was having. I'm in the fourth month now and although I've experienced the above symptoms they are lessening and I feel much more stable (and patient with my toddler, though still way less than perfect). BC pills aren't for everyone, but I thought I'd let you know about this option. Wishing you the best.

Get thee to Abigail Surasky, acupuncturist extraordinaire! She helped me navigate a couple of years of hellacious perimenopause. We finally were able to get somethings ''smoothed out''. She is in Berkeley and her number is 845-8017. 40's w/ a toddler can be fun

Check out the book ''What your doctor may not tell you about premenopause'' by John R. Lee, MD. For me what has made a transformation is acupuncture, exercise, cutting certain foods (wheat, sugar), eating more fresh/raw foods, and taking estrogen supplements. I'm also a single mother and was at breaking point for some time there. The acupuncture & estrogen have really helped rebalance me enough for me to even be able to consider dealing with exercise and diet. staying balanced

Menopausal memory loss

Sept 2007

OK, so why didn't anyone tell me about this menopausal memory/cognition fog? I feel like I have lost 50% of my IQ on a working basis. Half the time I feel like I'm stoned (without the munchies or giggles, fwiw). As someone who's lived and died by wit and mental sharpness my whole life, this is devastating, and I don't know anything about it - how long will it last? Will it be permanent or will it pass with menopause? What can I do to survive being a part-time dope, and still keep my job, my self-image, and my sanity? 46 and suddenly stupid

Oh, I am so glad you wrote this post and I can't wait to read the responses. I was going to post this question myself but kept forgetting! I keep meaning to do a lot of things and just can't keep it together. I write everything down on the calendar now and then forget to look at the calendar. It is making me crazy! Is there a drug to help with this??? Because I will take it. 45 and suddenly stupid too

I don't have any advice - just wanted to chip in and say that I'm having the same problems. I was expecting to be able to advance in my job and look forward to a great pension, but I'm now, at the age of 55 (and beginning menopause) worried that I can't even do my current job, let alone get any kind of promotions. I was always very bright and picked up things so easily. Now I'm embarrassingly dense and very, very worried about keeping my job. My performance evaluations in the last two years have been dreadful. I'm really looking forward to some advice. dense and worried

Hang in there--it gets better. Your mental function improves when you're through, and you also get better at coping with the losses. If you can manage your panic about the way your memory & mental sharpness are changing, you increase your mental capacity. Fear, anxiety, tension, stress are all memory-UNfriendly.

Plus, there is often a hidden benefit. I found that I had to develop other resources when my razor-sharp mind lost some of its edge. I gained patience, compassion, tolerance, and an appreciation, understanding, and growing respect for people who were more ''heart'' and less ''head.''

Not to mention a little more humility, and a better sense of humor! --Look for the gold in it

Wow, your email could have been written by me, if I hadn't forgotten to write it! ;

But seriously, I can relate 100% to your dilemma. I also live by my wits, and I have to stand up and deliver in front of groups everyday of my working life. You didnt mention hot flashes, those make an attractive addition to the fumbling for words, mental lapses and distractability that I am presently experiencing.

The only thing that helps me is that many of my colleagues are in the same boat I am. There is strength in numbers.

A short anecdote that may make you feel better, last month was my birthday, and I rented a house in Bodega Bay for the kids and grandkids for a week. The first morning there, I woke up and thought it was my birthday! It took me almost two hours to realize that my birthday was the following Monday!! I was really embarrassed and sort of scared, like I was having an ''Alzheimers Moment'' (or 2 hours).

The moral of the story is, oh I don't know what the darn moral is, but I also don't think we are alone. Find other women who can relate to your experience. I have also decided I just have to let up a bit with my type A personality and go with the flow. Its all part of the life cycle. Been there, done that

I think that's why they call us wise old crones. Us post menopause women look super smart compared to hormone-battered youngsters. Hang in there and consider that it is a way to learn empathy for those less sharp or quick than you. Old Lady

i'm just creeping into the menopause subject myself, not ready to advise anyone yet, except to pass on resources:

go to the ''Power Surge message board'' forum: http://www.power-surge.com/php/forums/index.php?

one of their subforums is titled: '''Am I Losing My Mind?' The most common expression uttered by women during menopause,'' with currently 498 topics!

also, thyroid problems often come on at menopause, and ''brain fog'' is one sign of low thyroid, so it's worth looking into that. signed: getting there...