Tips on how to choose a middle school

Based on your description of your child, I'd give some serious thought to staying at your current school--sounds like you have a child who may benefit from consistency and stability moving into middle school. Reasons to move would be that you don't think your current school's middle school program is a good fit for your child's needs and/or you think it's time to mix up the friend group. I think the best thing is to know your child and how they will respond/react to different settings (size of program, range of opportunities there, makeup of the class, etc.) Also be very upfront about the mild ADHD so you can get candid responses from schools about what kinds of supports they provide and what they expect parents to provide. Look for a school with (at minimum) a counselor and educational support specialist on staff.

Of your list, Head-Royce jumps out as the outlier as far as their approach to middle school, so I'd probably start there. If you visit and think that's what you're looking for, the other three schools are probably not what you are looking for (and vice versa). They are all great programs but have very different approaches to academics and social-emotional supports for the middle school years. I would also throw Prospect-Sierra, St. Paul's, and Redwood Day into the mix, depending on where you live--all three have lovely small middle school programs that are similar to what you'll find at BPC or Park Day, though each school has different strengths and offers different extracurriculars and supports. Also ask about where students go on to high school--it's still a long way away, but the years go fast, and it's helpful to know where your child's friends might be headed. Good luck with the search!

It sounds like you are making a thoughtful search with good options all around. There is absolutely something to be said for staying put at a school where your child feels content. And, it’s exciting to take the time to explore other options if you have that ability, to help you confirm your best Middle School path. 

Our kids went to PDS (loved!) and we moved over to Head Royce at Middle School (also loved!). Our kids were looking for expanded language options which became a driving consideration and our kids have really developed a passion for their pursued languages. We as parents also liked the idea that at HRS we might not need to consider looking/applying for High School if we decided to stay in the independent school world. 

PDS is such a loving and kind community. As noted, we didn’t stay for MS, but after a period of interim leadership, a vibrant and well-lauded permanent admin team came on and we heard so many good things about the team and the continued positive impacts at the school.

At HRS, our kids were welcomed by the most amazing 6th grade team of teachers. They are exceptional and rarely a week goes by still without us making reference to at least one of their 6th grade team. There are lots of options for clubs at HRS and they are flourishing post-Covid. Have a passion that’s not covered yet? Find a couple other interested students and you’re very, very likely to have a faculty member jump on board. Sports is low-key but fun at the MS level. We were *never* the sport parents, and yet now both my kids are on an upper school team that they LOVE…who knew, seriously? The teams feel social and accessible and we never thought that would be a big something and yet it’s been a great part for the kids. The art faculty are also wonderful and there are vibrant music, drama and dance opportunities (club, audition or class) in MS. 

I think your child is in good company regarding anxiety. I don’t know that many kids these days that came through the pandemic completely centered and grounded. Listen out for how schools are talking about their emotional support for kids, and is it specific to the modern day middle school kid? Both schools have Learning Specialists that might be available to give you a sense of the supported landscape of neurodiversity at their respective schools. 

You have a good selection of schools, and your child seems happy currently. That’s a great spot to be in. Listen to what the schools are telling you. It’s shiny and polished, but they will still tell you who they are. Get a sense of the parent body that’s also looking at the school. Everyone should be on good behavior, but you will also get a sense of what does the family makeup feel like landing at that particular school. 

Best of luck!

My daughter went to middle school at Park Day, not having gone to elementary school there.  She also has anxiety and mild ADHD, and loved creative writing (poetry).  While Park Day didn't have clubs, as a school at large, and all the classes were focused on socio-political issues, guiding the students to be active thinkers and active community members.  It is also project based.  It gives fantastic attention to socio-emotional development as a standard for all the kids, and was a very happy place for her.  It prepares students excellently for whatever the range of HS they attend after that (many go onto elite private schools, and some to public schools).  

One of the best things we were able to do for our daughter was to send her to Julia Morgan School for Girls for grades 6 - 8. It is on the Mills College campus.

JMSG fosters academic excellence, creativity and social engagement. But it is not a stressful program.  Our daughter made friends there.

Boys and girls are so developmentally different at this age that they benefit from single-gender education.,

One of the Julia Morgan teachers went on to found the East Bay School for Boys, with which we have no personal experience,

I recommend if it’s not broke don’t fix it approach. Middle school has nothing whatsoever to do with high school. They develop and change a lot during this period. Being in a comfortable school community is the single most important factor. 

I 100% recommend the Athenian School for a student such as your child. It is far, for sure, but they have a bus from Berkeley (or they used to). It is rigorous, but not dull, since it’s experiential. Every Friday the students have a day long cross-curricular, program that leverages the learning they’ve been doing during the week. If your student is advanced in certain areas, they offer accelerated sections and 8th graders can also take upper school classes when appropriate. They also offer electives/clubs centered around the interests that you mentioned (music, drama, writing, leadership/activism). Check it out! We were very happy when our child (now 20) went there. 

Tips-

On tour, take a look around and see if all the kids are looking happy and  engaged during free time, and not a lot of kids sitting around looking like they are disconnected. This will help get an idea of how well the school does at helping the kids make connections with eachother.

Ask about parent involvement because a school that has an active parent involvement generally means that parents are seen as a valuable member of the school's team.

See what types of clubs the school has since this can be a reflection of what the student body is like, their interests.

If it is important, ask where most kids go after leaving middle school.

Find out what kind of field trips the classes take which may show where the priorities of the school are.

Check to see what the backgrounds of the teachers are, if they have a specific grounded education in the subjects they teach or if they have a background in general teaching with a personal interest in a subject that they go on to teach without intensive subject training.

Black Pine Circle might be a great fit. The class population for each year is about 70 students, split into 3 clusters to make it an even more personal experience. The teachers really get to know your kids well and it shows in the report card comments (and 6th grade doesn't give letter grades to allow for the adjustment to middle school.) There are a lot of group projects with enough time to finish them. It is a challenging enough program with great social-emotional supports at every level.Teachers, administrators and all support staff are there to support every students' needs to help them learn. The social emotional learning tools are mostly incorporated into the day to day rather than provided as a separate unit - they walk the walk.

Drama and art are part of every year's curricula with experienced and passionate teachers offering really creative projects.

PE was only 2 days a week (for better or worse) with a PE teacher that is outstanding, prioritizing acceptance of everyone at their own level and sportsmanship and encouragement instead of competitiveness and single-mindedness for winning- he takes this very seriously.

The music teachers are great, too- all are very passionate and great at what they do.There is music incorporated in to every  school year with nontraditional instruments including steel drums and ukuleles! (Just be ready for early morning practices and last minute practice changes if in jazz band as an outside activity. But it is worth it!)

It has an awesome after-school, award winning Math Club. This is a reflection of the outstanding 7th grade math teacher and his team. He can be seen as intense by today's standards but he meets students at their own level, challenging those who he sees as capable, guiding those who need the extra care and guidance. His expectations are perhaps "old school" but he has high expectations in terms of paying attention and doing the work. But he is there, making himself available to those who do the work but need more help. Additionally, there is a math support specialist if more support is needed.

And last but not least, the sense of community is pretty fabulous. The school offers morning coffee social gatherings for parents to mingle, w/ heads of staff present, evening presentations, communicative grade level "room parents", monthly community matters meetings via zoom, family organized camping trips. Really nice folks, all around.

Athenian is really something special, especially the middle school.  Because of the flexibility and variety of the curriculum, compared to other middle schools, they are really able to meet each different kid where they are at.  I can't say enough good things about the place.  They did an exceptionally good job navigating the pandemic for example, the school leadership was thoughtful, proactive, transparent, and quickly pivoted to finding a way for the kids to learn safely and in person.   There was stellar communication from the school throughout, and we are forever grateful to have our kids at such a stable, well-run, caring, unique school.  We didn't know if the commute would be a challenge, but it wound up being a nonissue as lots of kids take the school's bus together from Berkeley and Oakland.