Therapist for Adult with ADHD

Parent Q&A

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  • Couples therapist who specializes in ADHD

    (2 replies)

    Does anyone have recommendations for a couples/marriage therapist who specializes in or knows a lot about ADHD? I'm also curious about coaches / therapists who work with adults who have ADHD to understand the condition's impact on their thoughts, behavior, and relationships. Thanks!

    Hello, I don't have a therapist to suggest personally, but I have another resource for you to consider.  Gina Pera, author of the book "Is It You, Me, or ADHD," has a massive blog, online course, and support group (live and online), and she has a directory of therapists who specialize in ADHD.  I have found so much great info from her writings, her online course, and from the forum of her other readers. She wrote a book for therapists called "Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy: Clinical Interventions." She used to keep a database of therapists who focus on ADHD and did her book/course but you may have to register for the online course to access it, I wasn't able to find it just now.

    Her blog is

    Her online course lives at 

    Best of luck to you and your partner!

    I would reach out to Ann Laurie Valentine ( I have been seeing her for a little over two years, and she helped identify what had been previously undiagnosed ADHD as a major cause of conflict in my relationship. She does remote appointments but used to live in the Bay Area and most of her clients still live here so she understands some of the idiosyncrasies of relationships here, too.

  •  Senior newly diagnosed with ADHD ( didn't just develop it, never diagnosed previously) seeks both coach and therapist to work with. I noticed Linda Lawton is highly recommended as a coach but for $175 for a 50 minute session is unaffordable. I would really appreciate any information from other older folks in a similar situation.


    Just a thought: Maybe call Linda and see whether she thinks one session (alone) might be helpful.

    There's a big difference in cost between one session and "weekly for a year" or whatever. 

    (I don't know Linda, but I also work for a high hourly rate, and I can often give clients results in a single session.  In those cases, it's very high value for the client.  Sometimes I can then recommend a lower-cost "maintenance" course of action.  Perhaps Linda is the same?)

    Oh, sister, I feel your pain. I joined a group for adult ADHD people but of course haven't been to a meetup yet. They are on the meetup website as "Oakland/Berkeley Adult ADHD CHADD Group" and I think they meet Tuesday nights. Tough for me to go out then, with the kids and all. 

    I would love to share resources. You can reach me at amythek [at]

    I'm so tired of being like this. And the idea that I can just spend thousands out of pocket for help ... that's so frustrating. Are there that many kajillionaire adults with ADHD? Guess so. I start each day feeling crappy about this and would love to be part of an encouragement coven. 

  • Marriage counselor for Couple with ADHD

    (4 replies)

    We need help. My husband has ADHD, anxiety and depression. He needed to move out of the house to be able to cope. We need an exceptional marriage counselor who specializes in ADHD (he won't go see anyone else). We have seen 2 so far and neither of them were able to help us. He wants to try to make our marriage work, we both do but he needs his own therapist and we need counseling together. We know a lot about ADHD but need someone who can help us differentiate between which behaviors he can change and what we both need to live with. HIs self-esteem has suffered tremendously in the last few years and his anxiety has sky rocketed. We are definitely in crisis mode and the whole family is suffering. Please send recommendations that have worked for you. Thank you. 

    Hi, Check out Robert Gorden in Berkeley. We've recently begun to see him and are pleased. Admittedly, he is quite busy, so it did take us a couple of months to connect and find a time available in his schedule that worked for us as well. Best of luck!

    If you are a Kaiser member, they offer group classes and guidance for people with ADHD.  If you're not a member, maybe you can pay a fee to take the class, or they can recommend something outside.

    Also, explore the idea of medication with a psychiatrist. Many people are ardently anti-medication, but the situation you describe is very close to crisis, and medication can sometimes provide the extra help to get things stabilized.  Serious stress and anxiety are likely to make things much worse.   I have had years of therapy, but medication is the only thing that has provided long-term relief.

    Phil Mansfield would be a very good place to start. Near Rick and Ann's, across from the Claremont. He is extremely skilled working with couples, using EMDR, which is indicated for PTSD.  He helped my husband overcome fear of heights and agoraphobia, both of which were affecting his functioning.  Then we went to him for couples work, which was extremely helpful. Best of luck to you!

    Call Cindy Blackett.  (510) 540-5409. Her office is in Berkeley and she knows a LOT about ADHD. When my partner and I went to see her we were just looking for a couples therapist but it’s because of her suggestion that my partner might have ADHD that we looked into that further and discovered that is exactly what he has and that this was the source of so many of our conflicts. Cindy was extremely helpful with just the thing you mentioned: figuring out what things we have to live with and what things can be changed.Good luck to you