Marriage counselor for Couple with ADHD
We need help. My husband has ADHD, anxiety and depression. He needed to move out of the house to be able to cope. We need an exceptional marriage counselor who specializes in ADHD (he won't go see anyone else). We have seen 2 so far and neither of them were able to help us. He wants to try to make our marriage work, we both do but he needs his own therapist and we need counseling together. We know a lot about ADHD but need someone who can help us differentiate between which behaviors he can change and what we both need to live with. HIs self-esteem has suffered tremendously in the last few years and his anxiety has sky rocketed. We are definitely in crisis mode and the whole family is suffering. Please send recommendations that have worked for you. Thank you.
Parent Replies
Hi, Check out Robert Gorden in Berkeley. We've recently begun to see him and are pleased. Admittedly, he is quite busy, so it did take us a couple of months to connect and find a time available in his schedule that worked for us as well. Best of luck!
If you are a Kaiser member, they offer group classes and guidance for people with ADHD. If you're not a member, maybe you can pay a fee to take the class, or they can recommend something outside.
Also, explore the idea of medication with a psychiatrist. Many people are ardently anti-medication, but the situation you describe is very close to crisis, and medication can sometimes provide the extra help to get things stabilized. Serious stress and anxiety are likely to make things much worse. I have had years of therapy, but medication is the only thing that has provided long-term relief.
Phil Mansfield would be a very good place to start. Near Rick and Ann's, across from the Claremont. He is extremely skilled working with couples, using EMDR, which is indicated for PTSD. He helped my husband overcome fear of heights and agoraphobia, both of which were affecting his functioning. Then we went to him for couples work, which was extremely helpful. Best of luck to you!
Call Cindy Blackett. (510) 540-5409. Her office is in Berkeley and she knows a LOT about ADHD. When my partner and I went to see her we were just looking for a couples therapist but it’s because of her suggestion that my partner might have ADHD that we looked into that further and discovered that is exactly what he has and that this was the source of so many of our conflicts. Cindy was extremely helpful with just the thing you mentioned: figuring out what things we have to live with and what things can be changed.Good luck to you