Teen Can't Wake Up in the Morning
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How to get teen son out of bed
Feb 2011
My son is having a real hard time getting out of bed in the morning. He goes to bed pretty early 9:30 pm or 10 pm the latest. I was told to get up early because it takes a long time for the teen to really awaken his/her senses...but is it necessary to wake him more than one hour before he is supposed to go? He had learning disabilities and attentional/focus issues and may be experiencing mild to moderate anxiety because parents recently decided to separate temporarily. He is seeing a mentor/therapist who is skilled in dealing with teens. I am using clear water misting from a water spray bottle, but he is not a plant. I turn the heat and the lights on full blast. Penny for your thoughts, recommendations, suggestions....
my eldest teen found it very hard waking up (she would sleep through alarms), so we started serving her and her sister breakfast on a tray in their beds. it felt more effective than repeatedly visiting her bedroom and asking her to wake up. it does feel indulgent, but my approach was simply to do what worked to get her feed and to school. she is now thriving at university. my girls appreciate the luxury of breakfast in bed and while you are hovering over them with the tray, they do roll over and sit up (immediately). i take pride in serving a delicious breakfast (this morning toasted bagel with peanut butter, fresh sliced strawberries and apple juice). you could also ask your son what he would like for breakfast, even taking him shopping to pick items, to encourage compliance. my youngest likes a little quite time in the morning to wake up and get ready. she sometimes reads on her bed before she needs to leave for school. good luck. judith
By FAR the best way to get my teen son going in the morning is for me to walk into his room, ask him what he wants for breakfast, make it, and bring it into his room. I swear, once he's eaten something, the beast in him is gone! Before I found this out, we had way too many shouting matching about 'GETTING UP' and out to school. And the funny thing is, he never said he was hungry! Just my experience. Happier
Wake-up time on weekends
May 2007
A friend with 2 teenagers told me that she doesn't let her kids sleep past 10am on the weekends - too much 'sleeping away the day' or something. I've always let my (teenage) kids sleep until they wake up on the weekends - I figure they get up early every weekday, their bodies must need the rest. But now that she mentioned it, I wondered if it's a good idea. What do you think?
wake up call?
If her schedule permits (she often has commitments), we let our 15-year-old sleep in until her body tells her she's had enough. Everyone needs recharging. The only caveat: a reasonable bedtime (11-11:30) even on weekends, so that her system doesn't go too much out of sync.
Mom
Oh for crying out loud, let your kids sleep!!! Studies from NIMH and others suggest that the school schedules of our kids, versus their natural sleep needs are so whacked out it's no wonder they can't focus in school. Let them sleep. Let them get a good night's sleep, if only on weekends. Let them do what you would do if you were relentlessly asked to perform. Just Let Them Sleep. They'll get up and they'll be healthy for it -- when they're ready.
Wish I'd been able to sleep in!
I'm the parent of two young adults, one who had a lot of difficulties along the way but is now doing great and one who has always been responsible/independent, etc.
I suggest that you tell your son that it can't be your problem anymore. Tell him that if he wants your help in figuring out a solution, he should ask for it, but otherwise you are leaving it up to him. And if he doesn't ask for help, then don't wake him up in the morning! If he does ask for help, you could still offer to wake him up, but only if it's not a power struggle between you in the morning. Other ways he can wake up are more and more obnoxious alarm clocks in his room but far from his bed! But again, don't suggest this unless he asks for help. Also, if you are no longer going to be able to give him a ride after a certain date, be sure he know in advance what that date is.
It's good for him to figure this out at a time when the worst consequence is losing his summer job... (if that does happen, be sure not to increase your financial support to him; he can easily get a job somewhere else since every place is desperate for workers!)
Good luck!
I'd have had an easier life in a number of ways if it were possible to "reset" my night owl body clock. It can't be done. But obviously your son will have to eventually find his own ways of coping with an internal rhythm that doesn't match the way most of the world operates. Besides alarms, the biggest help for me is a timer on the bedroom lights, so that they go on before I need to wake up. Also, change the alarm sounds every so often, because you eventually get too used to them. Going to bed earlier seems obvious, but doesn't help much; typically you just end up lying awake until the time you're naturally sleepy anyway. In college, I did not take 8am classes, and in my career it's been important to me to have flexible hours. My 20-year-old is also a night owl; we have both been known to stay up all night in order to be somewhere important early in the morning. I can't pull all-nighters as easily as I did at 18, but it's still an option I'll consider at need.
Honestly, as a parent, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Wake him up, since that works, when you can. Once he's living on his own and doesn't have that assistance available, he'll figure out his own strategies. My 20yo was the same way in high school, it was a huge effort to haul him up in the morning. But in college, no longer having parental help, he managed to get to class on his own; he currently lives alone and has a job this summer that requires a 6am start, and he manages that too. (He sleeps in the afternoon.) Most likely your kid will cope too.
Hi,
I have two kids that have a hard time waking up. One thing that you might check is whether your son has sleep apnea. My daughter was tested with the take home system, it fell off. She had had it on for 20 minutes and Kaiser reported she was fine. Finally a referral to the overnight sleep lab which showed severe sleep apnea when reviewed as pediatric. No snoring but she had a stuffy nose. Falling asleep in the car while I was driving... The biggest success was surgery for a deviated septum. ( They insisted she keep on with the cpap but she had minimal success.) A takeaway Id like to share is that the overnight tech told me that the take-home harness is not a good way to evaluate sleep apnea. Id also caution that you have them report using the proper age.
My son has great difficulty waking up but has yet to do the sleep study.
Good luck, its worth a try!
I strongly recommend contacting Lauren Asanrow, PhD at UCSF
im not sure the link i pasted is working, but you can google her name and sleep and it should come up
My daughter would not wake up for school. We ended up screaming at each other while the carpool waited…Here’s what I did 1. Made an agreement that the carpool driver would wait 5 minutes them leave without her. 2. Paid her $5/day if she made the carpool on time. 3. I called into her room cheerfully (but not too) 30 minutes before carpool to tell her time to get up. Then I backed the hell off. It killed me not to remind and to rush her. What am I, a control freak? Sometimes I got so anxious I would have to leave the house.
BUT she didn’t miss one carpool for those precious two months of in-school this spring. I needed to get out of the way and let her have the consequences.