Post High School Programs & Advisors
Parent Q&A
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My son is a senior in HS and just turning 18 soon. He has very little skills for independent living. Yes that is my fault, although I have tried a lot over the years. He has a pretty bad case of ADHD and was dx on the spectrum and he seems to live in a constant state of confusion and chaos. In addition, he was late in all self-care items, he strenuously resisted potty training (not accomplished until 6 - yes he was boarder line special needs and we lived overseers where school didn't start until age 6), or dressing self, and even now showering is a fight to get that done 2x a week but usually just 1x. If you have a typical kid, this may be difficult for you to understand. On the other hand, he has good friends, and a nice girlfriend so he's doing great compared to what we first thought his life might be like when he was younger and had much more severe language and stim issues.
I am beginning to worry about his lack of life skills. Even the most basic things such as to shut our house front door when he comes home, he forgets, he has left the door wide open many times (we live in an area this could be dangerous) and i only notice when I feel a breeze or hear loud outside sounds. Sometimes it has been open like that for over an hour. When he leaves the house when I'm not home, he rarely remembers to lock the door, the lights and TV are on. When he cooks a snack, he leaves the burners on (so he's not safe) and has no concept of how to clean as you go etc or do his laundry, to manage money etc.
Since he was young, I have tried showing him how to do these things and tried to make them fun but nothing registers. The problem is that it has now become a source of conflict with us and we already have a lot of conflict over getting him to do his homework etc.
I was thinking some sort of camp or program for kids like this. Maybe not this year, but he can take next year off before college. He actually went to a pretty rigorous outdoor challenge camp this summer, and thrived, but what we need is more mundane daily living stuff. I have pushed really hard in the past to force him to be more responsible but it really creates bad feelings and we already have difficulties so I thought for both our sanity, maybe there is something else out there. Yes I guess I'd like to outsource this problem and it needs to be something organized enough to actually instill new habits.
Does anyone know of a camp or live-in program like this? Or have other ideas? Again if you have a more typical kid, you won't understand this type of kid. I find it very hard too as I had huge family responsibilities starting at age 9 and didn't see that as a big deal. I'm afraid he'll end up being on of those kids living in our basement at 27 or he'll burn the house down. A failure-to-launch kid in the making for sure.
Oct 26, 2022 -
My 16 year old son has ADHD and Learning Disabilities. Academics have always been hard for him. He has an IEP and is getting through high school, but not thriving. Traditional academics are not his thing (at least not right now). He'll likely graduate with a modified diploma. He is bright and has many strengths, but will not have the pre-requisite classes to attend a 4 year college, and will also likely not be ready academically to handle that kind of environment. Even community college may be an academic stretch, although a program with strong disability services might be okay.
His passion/dream is to be a pilot. This is likely not possible because of his ADHD (he currently needs medication to function at school and this is a rule out for pilot license). He knows this and is open to another aviation career/job, but doesn't have a lot of ideas. His high school is full of college bound high achieving students, and school counselors are not as focused on other post high school opportunities. I would love to find a counselor to work with him on-line who understands teens who are not strong academically, but have other talents, and someone who really knows what other options are out there. I'd like him to have help exploring the post high school options that might be the best fit for him, and someone to walk him through the steps that are necessary to help him get to whatever post high school goal he comes up with. He might be a good candidate for some kind of technical program in aviation, for an apprenticeship program, for community college, for a gap year work or program to gain independence and confidence, for getting a job and learning how to manage a budget and begin to live independently. I don't know what all the options are, and I think that these conversations would also work better between my son and an objective adult.
I am not pushing any agenda for him, except to gradually build some kind of plan over the next 2 years, so that he'd got something to do when he graduates that he feels is meaningful.
Do you have an on-line counselor recommendation for non-traditional career/academic guidance. I'm not looking for a life-coach person--the issues are not a lack of motivation, but lack of ideas for what options are out there that would be a good fit. Thanks so much!
Feb 14, 2022 -
Our HS senior is clear he does not want to go to college next year, or perhaps any time soon, which is fine with us. At the same time, he does benefit from structure - which could mean anything from a job or internship to a gap-year program. Can you recommend counselors who help seniors like him think through their alternatives, or specific programs that our son (interested in fashion design, social justice, and biking) might be interested in?
Jan 17, 2022 -
Parents,
can anyone recommend a top notch post high school transitions program in the Bay Area? I’m Looking at either public or private. We are in the Acalanes school district and expect to go to DelValle, but are open to other options. Even ones out of state. However, my child will be graduating with a certificate of completion, not a high school diploma. I am not looking for a college transition program.However, being able to take a community college course would be a plus to keep active with typical students.
thank you.
Jan 15, 2021