Filing a Restraining Order

Parent Q&A

  • Advice for Woman being Stalked

    (8 replies)

    A friend of mine is being stalked and threatened by the father of her child.  He breaks into her house when she isn't there and steals and damages things.  He sometimes comes when they are there and bangs on the windows and door.  She has a restraining order but by the time the police arrive he is gone.  Even though she has him on camera in her house and stealing her mail the police say there is nothing they can do since they were previously in a relationship.  What do people do in this situation?  Should she hire an attorney to help her? A security guard?  Any references for either of those would be greatly appreciated.  

    If she has a valid restraining order, the police are giving her incorrect information. Violation of a restraining order is a crime, and the police could investigate and pursue charges if there is adequate evidence that her ex is violating the order. I would recommend that she ask for the badge number of the officer(s) who told her there was nothing they could do, and contact their supervisor. If that still fails, I would recommend she speak to an attorney. I am an attorney but I don't specialize in this area, so I can't offer to help. If you'd like to put your friend in touch with me so I can try to provide a referral, I'd be happy to try.

    I'm no lawyer but if she has a restraining order and has him on camera doing clearly illegal things (breaking in and stealing mail) that would be illegal even without a restraining order, she needs to go back to the police with her evidence and order and insist on him being arrested. There is no excuse for them ignoring this dangerous situation.

    She should also put in a loud alarm system in case he breaks in while she's asleep.

    It's hard to believe that her local police are being that stupid.  If she has a restraining order, IT DOES NOT MATTER if they were in a previous relationship.  It would not matter if his name is on the lease or the deed. If the order (as it should, if properly written) bars him from coming within X feet of her house, person and child, that's it.   I would start by going higher up in the police department to whoever is in charge of the precinct, in charge of patrols, or, if the department has one, in charge of domestic violence cases.  Your friend could also reach out to one of the domestic violence support groups in the area for advice. 

Archived Q&A and Reviews


    Lawyer who could help with a restraining order

    Feb 2012

    Looking for a lawyer who could help with a restraining order. I've been told this could be someone with a speciality in civil or family law. Ideally this person would be in el cerrito/albany, but the surrounding areas would work as well. Thanks in advance.

    Filing a restraining order is pretty easy and there are many official agencies willing to help you do it yourself. They don't charge. See this page for a list.

    Here's the info. for Richmond (for Contra Costa co. if you live in El Cerrito). Richmond Restraining Order Clinic Open on Monday and Friday of each week Location - Richmond Superior Court 100 37th Street, Richmond CA. (510) 965-4048 Sessions begin at 8:30 am and 10:30am. Arrive early and go to the Clerk's Office (Room 185) for information and assistance.

    If you are an Albany resident you will need to find one in Alameda Co. The paperwork is short and easy. You may want a lawyer for any court appearances that follow. Others may have suggestions for that. sean

    Here is a step by step instruction of how to file a restraing order in California.

    Here are a couple of the steps listed:

    2 Ask for the necessary forms to file a restraining order. The court clerk will likely ask you about the nature of your relationship with the person you are seeking a restraining order against. For a domestic violence restraining order, the clerk will have you fill out California forms DV-100 and DV-110. All of these forms are also available on the California Courts website, so you can fill them out ahead of time.

    3 Fill out your forms completely and sign in the appropriate places. The court clerk will hand your forms to a judge who will rule on whether or not the restraining order should go into effect. The judge must make this determination within 1 business day after you file the forms.

    4 Ask the clerk when you should return to court to learn the status of your restraining order. Usually, the clerk will give you a specific time to come back on the next business day.


    Read more: How to File a Restraining Order in California | order-california.html#ixzz1mqP06En6 sean