Anger Management

Parent Q&A

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  • Parenting help - anger management

    (18 replies)

    I am looking for a local group/therapist to help me build some anger management tools. I am having trouble managing my own flight or fight responses when I am triggered, and as a result my patience snaps and I blow up unexpectedly... suddenly displaying intense anger (not physically violent) toward my preschooler. My heart aches for my kid imagining the experience of having a parent, who is your world, suddenly furious with you. I see my child becoming sad and withdrawing from me - and articulating a desire for space because of my anger. And, I know, my kiddo is pretty darn easy as kids go, which makes me feel even worse. I am an over-stretched, over-worked, over-whelmed parent with my own baggage, and I am I failing at my job of protecting and building my child's self-esteem, keeping shame at bay, and modeling love, kindness, and self-control.

    Thank you for your recommendations.

    Highly recommend Yvonne Mansell in Albany (I found her through BPN recommendations). She has an anger management series for parents, separated into classes for  moms and dads. I took one before my child was born because I was raised in a very angry environment and didn't want to channel that to my newborn.

    An alternative to anger management would be to find a therapist that will help you process your anger and get to the root of it. I saw a wonderful somatic therapist (Natashia Fuksman) in South Berkeley and she helped me process difficult emotions while I was with her (not anger per se, but she is very non-judgmental and I'm sure she would be open to working with someone on anger). I highly recommend her if you live in the area.


    my heart goes out to you and your child.  
    you might try looking for therapists that use a form of PCIT therapy. Or look up the techniques.   Please Don’t be scared off that it refers to the success with abused kids. That was where the first research was done.  
    the idea is rebuilding positive interactions with your child. (Not just controlling yourself which is helpful but thus tries to help both).   They take the view that more positive interactions help the overall relationship.  
    The core is - take 5 minutes a day to have fun and just observes and praise your child for something specific. Phones off. No questions.  Just statements like I like how you’re building  the block so tall”.  The idea is that increasing positive interactions is an important recovery for both parent and child. 
    Second resource. The Yale Parenting Canter. They have great articles about changing behavior in kids and yourself.  Their view is that just telling your kid to do x doesn’t help. Because when that doesn’t work, parents yell.  Ultimately you will want a roadmap for how change behaviors that works.  They have lighthearted articles.  And a technique Vs. “Just try harder not to be mad”.  The idea is that you preview with your child and give abundant praise for the antecedents to the behavior.   
    The doctor says that information doesn’t help - just ask anyone who has tried to quit smoking. 
    I hope this helps. 

    I'm sorry I can't help with a recommendation but just want to say that you are awesome for recognizing this and trying to course correct. I hope you find a great resource. <3

    I had similar situation when my kids were little.  I got a new perspective on my own baggage and really helpful anger management tools from Yvonne Mansell in a supportive and affordable small group workshop.  Now my kids are teen/tweens and I still use the things I learned with Yvonne!  

    Bravo to you for asking. I don't have any recommendations for a group or therapist, but I have felt frustrated and disappointed in my parenting, too. You're on the right track and I am in awe of your awareness. Good luck.

    Check out the Anger Management Workbook for Women or Men - 2 different books, as the case may be. A local publisher here in Berkeley/Emeryville I work at publishes it - Callisto Media, under Rockridge Press. If cost is an issue, let me know and I will take care of it for you.

    How self-aware you are to recognize this. How brave you are to reach out for support! Speaking from personal experience, although I waited until my kids were older to recognize and address this in myself, a good therapist is essential. I wish I could recommend a good one in the East Bay.

    I want to respond despite not having a recommendation for a therapist, as I want to share that a mindfulness based yoga practice has also been very helpful to me, in managing my emotions over time, even after I no longer feel the need for regular therapy (cost became an issue). It's important to find a teacher who is well versed in yogic philosophy in addition to the physical practice.

    Some medical groups and health care clinics run mindfulness training programs lasting 6-8 weeks or so. While I have not attended one myself, my primary care doctor is a big proponent. If you're not interested in yoga, or are unable to find a mindfulness based teacher in your area, you might consider looking into a mindfulness training program, my understanding is that they are all about tool acquisition which would be complementary to group or individual therapy.

    Good luck to you, and remember to breathe!

    I’ve been there and many other mamas have as well. You are doing the right thing to find support. I highly recommend Yvonne Mansell and her Anger and Stress Management mom’s group. ( It is a 10 (or so) session group meeting once a week and exploring such things as what causes anger, what are your triggers, how to reduce stress, effective parenting, and even modeling anger management for your kids. It was a game changer for me. You can do this!!!

    Oakland DBT and Mindfulness Center (therapists).

    I can relate. It’s ok and here you are trying to make it better. Have you tried meditation. That helps me quite a bit! The 10% happier app or Headspace is a good start because a little goes a long and you can still do it everyday. Therapy and having family or some kind of support from a partner is very important to helping ease the anger and give you a break. I just moved to the area but I’ve found therapy and meditation and lots of kindness to myself including daily love for myself is the surest way to transform anger.

    Parenting is hard! It’s great that you are reaching out for help and have empathy for your little one. One resource to consider is the 24 hour parent support hotline at family paths: 800-829-3777.

    They also have parenting classes, parenting tips, Info about self care and stress management.

    Another organization that is super helpful is hand in hand.  To repair after a hard time, they recommend having special time with your little one that involves your undivided attention for a set amount of time (20-30 minutes) During which they lead and you follow With love, praise and admiration. This will be easier to do after taking care of your own needs. It is super helpful and indeed it does become a special time. Hang in there. We’ve all been there!

    I am going to go with the response I hated the most...ever: “go the self love route.” What does that even mean? Give yourself space. How? 10 mins every night, go to Instagram, DON’T scroll just go straight to the the.holistic.psychologist - Dr Nicole LePera. Start going through her posts. I think it’s some of the best self care you can do. And if you’re not on Instagram, you can sign up as anyone..your favorite ice cream, a cat....whatever. Just don’t scroll. Instagram can make the world angry and it’s easy to get sucked into that side. Start here, then focus on one goal you want to obtain per week. I want to get 10% better at listening to my toddler. At the end of the week, assess yourself. One that I did was, “I will bite my tongue, literally, when my kids argue.” It took practice, it finally worked and they didn’t rely on me to intervene. Small changes. 

    From there, a therapist can be integrated, should you desire. 

    Make small changes so you can get sleep. I wish I could write a book about how sleep has changed my life, my mood, my health and interactions with my three children.

    You are so not alone. I would hug you for recognizing this and admitting this to yourself. This child rearing gig is not for the faint of hear. I can tell you, some moms (dads) make it look easy, but you never know the backstory. 

    It takes a village and space to re-parent. 

    I recommend this amazing book, it has really helped me to connect the dots on triggers & to pinpoint the sources of my baffling, automatic reactions & to develop self-compassion in attempting to change them..
    The deep insights gained have transformed all of my relationships because my relationship to my self has changed.

    Amazon has this,

    "Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors" by Janina Fisher

    Also, the seminal work of Dr. Stephen Porges on Polyvagal Theory & self-regulation explains in clear language why we react in ways that undermine closeness.

    Check out his interviews on YouTube
    Calmer parent

    Hello, I read your post and wanted to thank you for sharing.  I was going to respond then when I scrolled down I saw similar things in the past threads, great suggestions in there.  I would say, as someone who had a bad temper (not hitting but yelling/shaming) and  is still overstretched that though it took time and work things are different.  I was not taught to self regulate as a child and though it is painful to see its effects, it is also what will bring about the solution.  There is no better key to self-transformation than parenting and the love you have for your child.  You have to trust that this will be good for both of you as you learn and try.  I told my child that I have never been a parent, I am learning and trying my best.  I would apologize for when I did loose it, say I was wrong and tell them that tomorrow I will do better.  And, I meant it.  I no longer scream though I do definitely get very frustrated and will say things I regret.  I am not, however, acting out of memory from what my parents did so that for me is an incredible win and I am still working on improving. At this point there are long histories of physical and emotional abuse that run through some families with zero coping skills, see it as an opportunity to honor your family line and do better and heal yourself, your child and honor all of them in the process.   I do not have a lot of time or resources but there are tools that are free or very cheap that have helped me.  The antidepressant route did not work for me but may work for you. Acupuncture is one that is very helpful (you can do the community one that is cheap) and I was going to Adult children of Alcoholic meetings because there are tools in the 12 step program that are very useful and its free and a weekly place to go and be with people and share.  Walking or any form of exercise or time in nature, even a short one is helpful.  Reward yourself when you catch yourself, even if it is a smile.  I do have time while driving to listen to audiobooks on anger and conscious parenting and Belleruth Naparstek has these wonderful downloadable affirmations on anger and forgiveness that overtime do help.  I lost a lot of sleep over feeling guilt because I wanted to be the perfect loving parent and was feeling like I was failing miserably and did see withdrawal from my child which I see hurts you as much as it hurt me.  A little remorse is healthy and promotes change, just be careful as I went on a pity spiral that made everything worse and the loss of sleep from it didn't help either.   I have a very stressful relationship with the other parent and I noticed when I was thinking about them, something that happened or my child was sharing something they did that it was a trigger time.  It would build from there as my mind went through a growing list of "wrongs" from the other parent.   Find out if you have a trigger that starts the build, learn to stop it and be present.  Its all about using your will power and retraining.   I am still struggling with a lot on my plate but I have begun taking my power back. When you loose it you are feeling powerless.  By shifting my perception, its a lot of work and sometimes I fall back but every time I get back up I am stronger than I was before. Keep up with the positive things you do with your child. You can do it. 

    Yvonne Mansell is a therapist in Albany who conducts group therapy sessions for parents regarding anger and stress management. I recommend getting in touch with her

    The sessions are a mix of didactic information about anger and stress, and personal time for sharing and processing. I found it to be very helpful. 

    I can relate to your experience and I would highly recommend Rachel Jenkins-Stevens as a therapist. She is incredibly warm and non-judgmental and I have talked with her at length about my own anger issues as well as many other aspects of parenting. She’s very knowledgeable about child development and has been great at helping me think about how to best parent my two children. She has also been able to help me think about how my individual baggage affects my parenting. Rachel moves very adeptly between parenting and a focus on you as an individual. Her office is in the Pill Hill neighborhood of Oakland and her number is 510-779-2670. 

    Hi mama. I’m there with you. The book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids had many insights and passages that resonated with me. I listened to it on audible. 

    Hi there,

    You are truly amazing for seeking help!! I totally know what you mean and am in the same boat. I’ve recently been overworked, overwhelmed & stressed with life... and did 2 things that have changed me. 1. Quit my second job (major source of overwhelm and stress), and started working with a therapist. On the side, I also listen to the podcast unruffled on the way to work to help raise my awareness around positive parenting & discipline. But the main thing I’ve taken from seeing a therapist (since July now)... I’ve become aware of the anger issues I have that directly relate to my own childhood & the anger I’ve been holding since I was 3.5. Raising our own children have a way of unleashing unexpressed childhood emotions.  We’re in the process of making changes... and I’m not perfect. I still have angry spells, but now more manageable, are less in frequency. 

    If you’re interested in working with a therapist, I highly recommend Melody Wright she has an office in Berkeley and in Richmond hilltop. I literally go in there once a week, speak, get my feelings out... and with her listening & asking relevant questions, I am able to pinpoint important patterns that were programmed within me as a child. I’m working on it and feel incredibly hopeful that I can be the Mom I want to be. 

    I know you can too... ♥️ 

  • I've always thought of myself as a pretty level-headed person. I'm successful in my job and happy in my marriage.  I have a loving relationship with my kids while tending towards a bit more strict in my parenting style (ie not letting my teenager go out with shorts where her bum hangs out, being consistent with cell phone rules i).  I think of myself as pretty content with my life despite some financial stresses.The last couple years, I've noticed sometimes I get so angry at a small provocation and am not inhibited to have 'words' in a public space--not yelling, but expressing my displeasure in a forceful way.  Usually, this lasts less a minute and then I need a few minutes to process and decompress and then I can move on.   This only happens with family -- mostly my husband and teenager.  The issue is that my husband and teenager are telling me that my behavior is not ok for them (my teenager tells me I am 'scary').  In addition, I get irritated easily, and the last couple months, I've noticed that curse words slip out around my teenager when I never used to curse around my kids.  I think that I'm worried because my Mom (mid-70s) used to be super even keeled and as she has aged she has become more easily irritated, will 'go off' on a family member at a family gathering in an embarrassing way, and in more recent years makes odd comments (about politics) that we don't agree with and at a loss of how to respond to.  I guess I'm worried that as I age (mid-40's) my brain chemistry is changing such that I'm turning into my Mother.  I don't want to damage my relationship with my husband and kids and wonder if an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant medication would help.  So long story short, am looking for advice and also recommendations for a psychiatrist to see if medication would help.  Thanks!

    First, props to you for paying attention to the feedback you're getting from your beloveds.  

    Secondly, you don't mention whether you're still having your period, whether its changing or not or whether you've got any sleep disruption.  In my mid-40s (my wife tells me) I started to get quite short-fused and my sleep wasn't great.  After one weekend where I felt like I was spewing fiend-fire with every word I spoke to my family, I saw my OB-GYN and started low-dosage hormone replacement therapy.  It changed my life. Before psychiatrist for meds I'd suggest making an appointment with your OB/GYN.

    Best to you.

    I am 46 and started taking a very low dose of Prozac about 8 months ago for this very reason. Two of my female colleagues told me that they had started taking antidepressants around this age for irritability - I took the hint that other people had noticed my temper. As I am headed toward menopause, I think I only really need the Prozac when I have PMS, but that's not how it works, so I take it every day. I resisted it for a long time, but I have to say that I am so much happier. The medication allows me to respond to situations in the way I think I should, where as before, I would explode before I had a chance to think things through. My family has definitely noticed a change!

    okay, have you ever thought you might be going through the change of life.  It can happen as early as the mid-40's so see your doctor soon.  Also, do you have a close friend or friends that you spend time with who also have children/child life yourself?  Do you have them as an outlet?  Sounds like you need someone to help you find balance.  Call your insurance company and see what resources they have for you to get help that way.  Don't automatically think you need meds.  What you are going through is normal and it happens.  Be patience with yourself.  Sometimes it is best to walk away from a situation when you feel you are about to get out of control.  You need space and ability to breathe.  As for the family member, my sister says and does things that are completely inappropriate and uncontrollable so I limit the time my family members spend around her.  Perhaps you need to do something similar.  Remember to apologize for going off the deep end.  Trust me, I understand, I am a very expressive person, with little filter and have raised our child in a fairly strict household.  Our daughter is 19 and we have just let go of the ropes.  We have done our job, but it is hard not to be a control monster.  Be very glad that your husband teen are willing to be open and not afraid of you to express their feelings.  They love you!  Remember to love yourself also.  You are not your mother, but as we get older, we tend to notice traits that are similar to what we experienced as kids ourselves.  Trick is to move past it.  Again, talk to your insurance company to find help.

  • Therapist for Parenting & Temper

    (3 replies)

    I have become the yelling bad temper mom I fear once to be.  My son is only 3 years old, and everyday  I find myself screaming at him.  I'm in desperate need of help,  he is a normal kid, I'm the one with issues.  If you have anyone you can recommend, please advise.  I need someone that can take insurance, we have United Health Care.

    Parenting is so hard and brings out parts of ourselves we hardly recognize.

    Please check out 'Hand in Hand' parenting website and workshops that I found made a profound difference in my understanding of parenting issues. 

    You got this! ;-)

    I am not sure if she takes United Health Care (although she does take some insurance) but try Norma Myer in Berkeley.  She is great with all kinds of anger issues.

    Best of luc!

    I understand your feelings very well. I was in the same place about a year ago with my then 1 1/2 year old, but my temper was worse towards my husband. I was at a breaking point and desperately sought help. After looking over some past postings on this site, I discovered an Anger and Stress Management support group for mothers. It is led by therapist, Yvonne Mansell, in her private practice in Albany. I was a little nervous about meeting in a group setting because of how shameful I felt about my bad temper. However, those feelings dissolved at the first meeting when I realized there were other moms just like me. We are not bad people, we are struggling with emotional control. After completing Yvonne's support group series, which I think was about 8 weeks long meeting once a week, I walked away with so many tools to deal with my anger in parenting and relationships in general. I learned what my triggers were, and I learned how to deescalate when I felt my anger being triggered. I found great comfort from the other moms in the group too, we supported each other. The group was small only about 6 or 7 moms, and the price was reasonable - much less than an individual session. Also, I think Yvonne will work with you financially if you need it. Reading your plea for help, I couldn't help but recommend this support group - it greatly helped me.  Here is more info from website

Archived Q&A and Reviews

Therapists who specialize in anger, fear

April 2012

Hi there, I would like to get recommendations for a therapist who specializes in helping patients deal with anger and fear for my friend. He is not a violent person by any measure, but he does seem prone to irrational fear and sometimes anger (directed internally) and would like help processing these emotions in a healthy manner. Ideally, a therapist covered by insurance (Anthem blue cross, PPO). berkeley advice

I highly recommend Cynthia Lubow, MFT as a therapist. She is very compassionate, smart and perceptive. She specializes in depression, trauma, grief, anger and PTSD work. She takes insurance but I do not know the particulars. Her contact info--email: Cynthia [at] and phone: (510) 525- 2341. Best of luck, Cheryl

I can highly recommend Cynthia Lubow. She has over twenty years experience and specializes in anger, fear and trauma issues. She is compassionate and thorough in her approach and uses EMDR to resolve these issues. I have heard amazing stories about the effectiveness of EMDR in these kinds of situations, so I think she would be a good fit for you. Her website is Good Luck! laura

Anger management/parenting class

Feb 2012

I need a new skill set for parenting and for controlling my temper. I am looking for a therapist in Berkeley to help me with this. I have been blowing up at my kid lately and I want desperately to change. I need someone to give me concrete ideas for learning new behavior instead of yelling. Also I am interested in RCB (redirecting children's behavior) classes. Any recommendations at all will be helpful. Mom that needs help.

My sister-in-law has 4 boys, and after the 3rd was born she was having similar issues to yours, and realized she needed better parenting techniques. She swears by ''Love and Logic,'' (, which as I understand it focuses on establishing logical consequences for bad behavior, and taking parental emotion/reaction out of the equation (obviously easier said than done, but my SIL has been pretty successful in making it work with her kids). Carrie

I know how you feel. A couple of years ago I felt like I was just yelling at my kids way too often-- I was stressed and mad all the time, and scared of my anger.

I went looking for a class that would help me control my anger - you know, count to 10, punch a pillow, those kinds of tips. I'm lucky I found Yvonne Mansell and her course on anger and stress management. Yvonne is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and also a student of the Buddhist tradition of mindfulness. She has been helping parents explore the psychological and spiritual dimensions of anger and stress for years. (She also offers support groups on mindful parenting and other topics.) Her class taught me tons about anger management, but with layers of insight and mindfulness that I never expected. She has a calming, compassionate presence, and lots of concrete, useful information; she has really helped me understand what my anger is about and what alternatives I have for dealing with it.

You can find out more about Yvonne and her classes at: With her guidance, you can definitely find your way to being calmer and more present as a parent, and happier overall. Good luck to you. - Calmer Mom Now

Dear Mama, Oh I'm so with you! I'm also so sorry that you're having these troubles. I find parenting my daughters so very challenging and I hate it when I loose my cool.

I do have a very good recommendation for you. Yvonne Mansell. Last year I was part of an 8 week series that she does with moms titled, A Mindful Approach to Anger and Stress Management. Do you love the title? As soon as I read it, I was hooked! Taking this class and getting to learn from Yvonne and the other mom participants changed my life dramatically. I certainly am not a perfect mama, but I am SO much better at dealing with stress and my children than I was before the class. I learned techniques and ways to get myself to chill out or ideally prevent myself from getting into predicaments. And I'm much better at forgiving myself for my mistakes.

I find Yvonne's manner and way of teaching so kind and helpful. She's a mom, she's real and she knows this road. At each session there is a check in and then Yvonne teaches on a particular topic. There is time for the participants to share and ask questions and there are times when we reflected on a topic and wrote about it for ourselves. My learning was deep and so very helpful.

Yvonne's website is Yvonne runs other support groups as well as individual and couples counseling. Very best to you mama. I think it's great that you're searching out help. Good luck to all of us! Serena

I would like to highly recommend an anger management parenting group that I just completed which was run by Yvonne Mansell MFT (510) 528-9551. It was an eight week group that met once a week. Yvonne had concrete ideas to help with one's individual anger. She provided us with tools that encouraged insight into our anger and what triggered it. Additionally, she taught us ways to reduce those rageful feelings. She has a balanced approach which is spiritual, non- judgmental and yet does not shy away from talking about those big yucky feelings. She also has a good sense of humor! Yvonne's website Feeling more peaceful

Hello, Yvonne Mansell offers an insightful, safe and skills-based class to help parents address anger issues. Please go to (510) 528- 9551. Yvonne uses a combination of education, experiential exercises and discussion on topics. The class provided me with a non-judgmental and structured way to think about my anger. Yvonne offered very concrete suggestions for managing anger before, during and after an anger episode. She is a gifted facilitator and her own journey is very inspiring. I also loved that we talked about how to help our kids manage their anger.

2009 - 2010 Reviews

Yvonne Mansell's Anger Management Series

June 2010

Anyone have experience with this series, or any other anger management class you can recommend? I need to find some tools to help me to calm down, NOW! Wants to Stop Yelling

Hi, i don't have experience with Yvonne Mansell's anger management classes (though I took, and enjoyed) her mindfulness class at one point. However, for anger (or any other emotional issues) and parenting, I would highly, highly recommend Leah Statman in Albany. Best of luck
( Editor note: Leah Statman passed away in 2011. )

Although I haven't taken Yvonne's anger management series, she has been a mentor parent to me for over 6 yrs now. Along the way I have learned so much from her about parenting in general and dealing with frustration and anger in particular. As I remember it, one of the very first questions I ever asked her was about navigating my anger around my son. In all things I find her responses to be compassionate, practical and deeply thoughtful. She also has a very gentle style (and gentle sense of humor) that I find refreshing because all too often others give parenting advice with too much zeal and militancy. sabine

I've heard good things about Yvonne Mansell's anger management classes from a trustworthy friend who attended them. I have talked with Yvonne and she seems like a very competent therapist to me (I am also a therapist).

Albert Dytch 452-6243 conducts anger management groups for men. He works with a woman who conducts similar groups for women. From a graduate of Albert's group

Hi Yelling Mom, I was in the same boat and took Yvonne's class this fall. I was finding myself yelling and angry, particularly with my children, and generally not being the person and the mother I wanted to be. The series was wonderful. It gave me many practical tools and strategies to use and they have made a significant difference in my life. It was also great to have a support group and a place to listen to and learn from other parents. Yvonne is also a parent and brings great insights from her experiences to the group as well. Hope this answers your questions, Susan

Therapist for Anger Management/Self-Confidence?

Nov 2009

After 10 years together, my husband has made enormous strides in dealing with his anger [and I'd like to add that I have *never* feared for my or my childrens' safety - it's a more self-directed anger]. He's gone from punching walls because he over cooked his steak (seriously), screaming about a parking ticket, etc to infinitely better and more appropriate behavior. Still, the anger is *there,* just not coming out in the same ways. Lately it seems to be coming out as really mean and snarky comments. If I hadn't already lived with his supremely awful behavior in the past (and his slip ups here and there in the present) I'd be more willing to let some stuff slide, but now that we have two small kids, one of whom is an extremely sensitive 6 year old boy, I feel that he needs to address *why* he is so angry and why he directs it at himself almost exclusively. I refuse to allow this insidious and destructive behavior to be passed on to our son. Any suggestions for a therapist who can work with him on this? He's on board. Thanks. ---- Tired of This

My husband worked with Kirsten Beuthin (652-0990) who I would highly recommend for issues related to self-directed anger and lack of self-confidence. He struggled for quite awhile (not an easy fix), but was able to focus on his issues and is in a much better place now. He really liked working with Kirsten, which was important because I don't think he would have done so much work if he hadn't liked her. Tracy, been there

Albert Dytch runs weekly anger management therapy groups for men. He specializes in those who have families and are not the court-ordered cases. As part of the intake, Albert meets separately with the spouse to get her perspective. I went thru this program and got insight as well as tools for managing anger. His phone is 510-452-6243. Easier to live with now

I recommend ruling out common medical conditions which may cause anger management and impulse control problems. Would your husband be willing to ask his doctor to check him for hypertension, thyroid imbalance, sleep apnea, clogged arteries in the neck, mini strokes, seizure disorders, or other things that might also restrict blood flow to the brain or oxygen levels in the blood?

In addition, it would be useful to for him to see a therapist to assess and rule out depression, post traumatic stress disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder or other chemical imbalance-based mental illnesses which might cause him to act out impulsively and with anger and which are highly treatable with medication and therapy combined.

He could attend anger management therapy concurrent to these medical and psychiatric assessments. If he is acting out in order to get what he wants, i.e. to control others, I recommend you find a certified domestic violence group in your area. Your county superior court while have a list of providers. If he is acting out impulsively, then an anger management group, using a cognitive behavioral therapy approach has good clinical evidence of its efficacy. Andrea

Kaiser Anger Management class for mom?

June 2009

I've reached the point where I know I need to address my anger towards my kids -- explosive (nonviolent) reactions to behavior that isn't really anything out of the ordinary. The Kaiser class that's been recommended on BPN appeals to me although I'm not a member. My question: any moms out there who have taken this class? Was it useful? If not, can you recommend any effective alternatives? Many, many thanks. Trying to Find a Better Way

I took the Kaiser anger management class for the same reasons as you. My 9-month-old would toss her pacifier on the floor and I'd explode with anger ... just the usual kid behavior that I was too tired and frustrated to handle. I never took it out on her, but I would go pound on walls in the garage. I eventually figured out there was probably a better way to address it.

The Kaiser class was useful for me. It's very basic. It taught me some simple but useful coping strategies. It also made me realize that there was more going on here than anger with my kid. There were other parts of my life that were also causing me trouble, and there were reasons why my reaction was to hold it in and then explode. In the end I found a therapist outside of Kaiser, and I was glad the anger management class opened my eyes to that possibility. It wasn't part of my family background to do therapy.

That said, it's sort of a catch-all class. My experience was, the men are mostly in the class because they have anger problems on the job, and the women are mostly in the class because they have anger problems in their relationships. There's a bit of a disconnect between the two groups. And, well, with a bunch of people with anger issues, they sometimes get annoyed with each other. I actually found that was a useful training exercise, but that's because I was focused on relationships rather than, say, job hierarchies and constraints. anon

2007 - 2008 Reviews

SAHM needs help with anger management & life issues

Feb 2007

I am the severely sleep deprived mother of two children (ages 4 and 1.75) and I just lost it with them this morning. While I didn't hit anyone, I spat at the older one (after she spat at me), screamed, threw toys away and told them I didn't want to be a mommy anymore. I scared myself and them. I've apologized profusely and told them I absolutely didn't mean what I said, but I know I need help. I'm exhausted, angry, alone, and feel like there is no ''me'' left. Can anyone recommend a good, compassionate, insightful therapist (preferably female) to help me deal with these issues? Tired

phyllis klaus in berkeley is extremely helpful with perinatal issues. she helped me with postpartum depression associated with being a sahm. she is extremely gentle and understanding. her # is 510-559-8000. anon

I highly recommend Heather Roselaren, LCSW/MPH off Shattuck in Berkeley. She is very patient and insightful. She helped me with prenatal depression. Her phone number is: 510-527-1217. Gabrielle

I've been seeing Anne Marshall for some other issues this past year, and recommend her very highly. She's smart, insightful, pragmatic, straightforward, and funny. She actively offers opinions and practical advice, and has been such a strong and compassionate advocate on many occasions that I fully trust her occasional recommendations for ''courses.'' Among other things, she has helped me find a place for anger -- I was swallowing mine, and I now have an easier time acknowledging it and bringing it into balance with my other emotions. I can't speak to her experience with SAHM issues specifically, but she has helped me understand and address other issues MUCH more constructively than the 2 other therapists I've seen. Her number is 220-0808, and (icing on the cake) she takes PacifiCare and MHN. And as I'm sure many other posters will tell you, do everything you can to address the sleep deprivation. There's a reason the Geneva Convention lists it as a form of torture! Taking care of two young children is draining under the best of circumstances, and everything gets so much harder when you're not sleeping enough. Also, when my kids were that little, it made a huge difference to my emotional well-being to have some ''me time'' to exercise, have an occasional beer/ vent session with friends, or whatever. Finding ways to recharge your batteries isn't just good for you, it's good for your kids, because you'll have the energy to be nurturing. Just like they say in airplanes, ''put your own oxygen mask on first, THEN your child's''. Best of luck to you. anon

I would highly recommend Dr. Lisa Lancaster. I am also a SAHM and know that I am a better mother from my work with her. She is in Berkeley. Her number is 510-841-2525. anon

Theresa Fleury, Ph.D, is a genuinely compassionate, insightful therapist who has her office in Market Hall (College Ave.). She has 15 years in practice, and did her post-grad training at Stanford. Here is an excerpt from her posting on a therapists' website: ''Self esteem issues, depression, and anxiety are areas of my expertise. I specialize in recovery from trauma and addictions. I have extensive experience working with adult children of alcoholics. I work with individuals, couples and families. Parenting and life transitions are also a focus of my work. I am able to understand quickly the deeper issues that are involved and I share my ideas with my clients in a collaborative style. I like to set goals in the initial sessions with the client and track progress with the client as we work together.'' I have found Dr. Fleury to be exceptionally talented at cutting through to the real issues, and working to achieve positive, healthy change. Good luck. (510) 843-7055 Feeling More Positive

I'd reccomend yvonne mansell, in albany. Her number is somewhere in the archives here..take care of yourself, and remember we have all had moments/days/months like this. been there

My own therapist, Katheryn Hirt, is fantastic at dealing with anger issues, and helped me tremendously. She's real and ''down- to -earth'' not too ''woo woo'' but is still very kind and compassionate. If you are willing to do the work of showing up, she will ''meet you'' and be engaged and proactive and not just ask you how you feel and say Mmmm hmmm the whole time --which has driven me nuts in other therapy. I've learned a lot about myself and gained incredible insight and gotten some tools and skills too, which I needed. 510-220-3558 is her number. Good luck! anon

I don't have a therapist recommendation for you, but I really recommend that you look into the love and logic parenting method: I found out about it because my son's elementary school is offering a free 6 week course on it, and I know there are lots of other classes or even books that you could read on it. I don't want to sound evangelical, but after only 1 class I have regained so much of my sanity it is absolutely unbelievable. My children have gone to bed on time without crying for the last 6 days! What this method teaches you is EXACTLY what words to say to your children to get them to behave, and it is a miracle because it actually works. I wish you good luck. been there too

You should contact Lee Safran

To the stressed-out SAHM of a 4 yo and a 1.75 yo - I cannot give you any advice/recommendations for a therapist, but I humbly suggest that you consider making it a POINT of making some ''me time''. As parents, especially mothers (whether single or not), we tend to put ourselves last - the kids, the house, work, everything else comes first.

It sounds to me like you need to make a regular ''date'' for/with YOURSELF - get a massage, go to a movie, SOMEthing. If you can find the time (and money) to go to a therapist regularly, you can MAKE the time and find the funds to treat yourself well, regularly.

If you have a local teenager whom you trust, enlist their aid - even 2 hours a week, whatever - and DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF. Go to the gym; go swimming; go to a movie; get a massage; visit a friend; go for a walk; take a class. Whatever you USED to do, that helped you be ''you'', do it again. A therapist may be what you need, in the end, but perhaps you might just need to de-stress a bit. Most of us do. Been there, and now I'm at the gym

Laura Pilnick, MSW 510-465-0553, located near Grand Ave in Oakland. She is very practical and supportive of the strains of being a parent. She will provide you with very concrete tools for dealing with anger and stress issues. I highly recommend her. Congrats to you for doing this for you and your children! Lynne

My advice: skip the therapy and hire a babysitter! You need a break! Go shopping, to the movies, to the gym, for a walk - anything on a weekly basis and you will come back to the kids refreshed and happy. Do it for you. anon

I highly recommend you contact Perinatal Psychotherapy Services at 594-4006. You will surely find the help you are seeking with one of the three wonderful practitioners, Gina Hassan, PhD, Donna Rothert, PhD or Lee Safran, MFT. Good luck. portia

Dear SAHM, I have a really good therapist to recommend for your life and anger issues. Her name is Suzanne Pregerson and I have been working with her for about 6 months on similar issues of my own. Suzanne is a calm, non-judgemental listener who has an active interest in working with parents - individuals and couples - of young children. She is a parent herself and can sympathize and offer practical advice on what is going on with you and your children. I also like that when I am at my wits end with some issue she invariably has a comment like ''you would be surprised how often I hear that complaint. Here is a solution others have tried.'' Knowing you are not alone also helps. Please contact her at 510-548-1237. Good Luck! Jennifer

Anger management for mom of two young children

Feb 2007

I have an son who will be 3 soon and a 4 month old daughter. About two months before the baby was born, I started yelling at my son a lot. I guess it was the difficulty I was having being pregnant compounded by my son being a very active 2+yr old boy. My situation hasn't improved. My husband isn't a yeller at all so I try very hard to keep my temper in line. (Having a husband that makes me want to be a better person every day helps) My parents were yellers and I remember how awful it felt to be yelled at by them. My son tells me not to yell at him. When he does, I feel so mortified and completely ashamed because I love him more then anyone in the world. One day, the first thing he out of his mouth to his Dad was ''Mommy yelled at me''. (Dad worked late that day and came home after the kids were in bed) My husband says ''You're the adult.'' Meaning, I should know better then to holler at him. I should and I do! My kid is normal for his age and has lots of energy. But when my son starts working my nerves and I'm exhausted and the baby is screaming, and I am trying to get dinner on and do dishes and laundry, and I am alone with the two of them, sometimes I get to the end of my limit and I start hollering. I have never ever hit or spanked him but I am afraid that one day, I might cross the line. I am really ashamed and scared of this thing that lurks inside of me. I want to nip this in the bud before my kids learn these bad habits from me. It's not going to go away on its own. Can anyone recommend a good therapist or group class for anger management in Berkeley? Mom that Yells =(

I am a ''yeller'' too - It just comes naturally when you have been raised that way. Check out the love and logic parenting method ( If you can't make it to one of the trainings, at least read one of the books (you can probably find them in the library). This method is amazing - it teaches you to overcome your natural response of just yelling - the ''drill sargeant'' approach to parenting. Basically, children continually try to gain control from you, and the more that you prevent them from getting control, the harder they try, until they push you so far that you start yelling. The solution is to give them some control on YOUR terms, so they don't drive you nuts, and to let them learn from their mistakes (i.e., natural consequences). The books will give you tons of concrete suggestions on how to do this, but the basic method is to let the kid make choices about things that don't affect anyone else, and also to only give choices you can live with. Then, when they make ''mistakes'', they learn from the consequences of their actions rather than focusing on the power struggle with the parent. Check it out, it really works! good luck

I have greatly benefited from attending parenting and other workshops through the Bay Area Nonviolent Communication. Their approach to communication helps build nonviolent relationships with children, adults, coworkers, anyone. They offer workshops on a sliding scale and subscribe to the philosophy that no one should be turned away for lack of funds. Jean H.

Dear Fellow Mom,

The same happened to me when I was pregnant with my second child and my first was about 2 years old. Anger management had never been an issue for me until then. I can understand that you are ashamed and scared of ''this thing'' that lurks inside of you \x96 I was too and maybe I still am. How honorable of you that you want to work on yourself and discontinue a habit that might have been carried over by generations before!

Working on managing my anger has been quite a journey for me. I came to realize that there is not the magical one thing that will make you so calm that you won\x92t yell anymore. It is hard work and there have been many different things that I\x92ve been practicing. Let\x92s start with books that have helped me: ''When Anger Hurts your Child \x96 A Parent\x92s Guide'' by McKay, Fanning, Paleg & Landis. Also ''Kids, Parents and Power Struggles'' by Mary Kurcinka - a wonderful book!It was not just the reading, but practicing over and over again what the books suggested. I kept an anger diary for a while which helped me identify my stress factors and trigger thoughts. Sleep deprivation, PMS, irregular meals, etc. are stress factors that I can try to avoid, now that I know about them. Becoming aware of any irritation and anger in the beginning stage by tuning into my body often helped me push the brakes. Nurturing myself - e.g., sitting down for a few minutes and drinking a cup of tea instead of doing the laundry, stepping out of the door to breath fresh air, calling a friend to get some empathy, deciding not to cook dinner because it would be impossible keeping my cool by juggling too many things, etc. \x96 lowers my stress level. The first year with my second child was extremely exhausting for me too \x96 physically and emotionally. I did see an acupuncturist and took Chinese herbs to replenish my body.

Meditating on a regular basis has probably been the thing that has helped me the most. It calms me down and sets the tone for the day. Through the mediation I practice being mindful, which then kicks in in stressful situations with my kids. Although often it has been difficult to find the time away from the kids to meditate, the 15 or 20-minutes per day are totally worth it.

How can we possibly go through all this on our own? Reaching out for support and connecting with others is a great idea. I went to a mom\x92s support group for a while and found out that I wasn\x92t the only one dealing with these issues. Finally, I decided to see a therapist to work on unresolved childhood issues in more depth which contribute to how I manage (or not manage) my anger. I can highly recommend Yvonne Mansell, a licensed psychotherapist in Albany. She also facilitates mom\x92s support/mindful parenting groups. Phone: (510) 528-9551, email: ymansell[at] You\x92re right when you say that it won\x92t go away on its own. It\x92s hard work AND there are many positive things that you will encounter on this journey. I wish you all the best! A now more compassionate & patient mom

Good for you for reaching out and asking for help! I don't have a recommendation for your specific request, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone! I too, struggle with anger towards my children and have strong, angry reactions to their ''normal'' kid behavior. Given your status as post-partum and that you started yelling while pregnant, I wonder if you are experiencing some hormonal shifts that are causing you to have a shorter fuse. My temper definitly increased after the birth of my second child and I found my hormmones were never quite the same. I would recommend looking into some post-partum support. Your anger and yelling may be a response to how overwhlemed you likely are with an infant and toddler and the normal stresses of life. anon

2005 - 2006 Reviews

Anger Management Class for Men

August 2005

I am looking for an Anger Management Class for Men in the Lamorinda, Walnut Creek, Pleasant Hill area. I saw the recommendation for Kaiser Richmond but was hoping for something closer to home. My husband has talked to some therapists in the past but they just listen and don't advise.

I took the Kaiser program and it was very good. The Kaisers in Richmond and Oakland have them, and the Kaiser in Walnut Creek may as well. Call them. If not, the class meets only once a week for eight weeks, and the commute is a small inconvenience for an intervention that can really help. anon

I can understand how you want to help your husband with anger management issues since it impacts you and your child/ren. You need to remind yourself, however, that it is his issue (and also not your fault) and until he wants help, he will never ''listen'' or get results from any program and may end up resenting you because you ''helped'' him go. I know Alameda Family Services (formerly Xanthos) in Alameda has some excellent groups for men and/or therapy that specializies in this field. The battered women's groups can also refer you to some anger management programs for him (and most of the good ones are free or subsidized), but you should take time to focus on yourself---even though there may not be any physical abuse in your household, just the fact you wrote in shows me that his anger is a real concern for you and has impacted your life. Free places to get help for YOU are Alanon and any of the battered women's groups. I used to go to a wonderful one on Sixth Street in Berkeley. Once you get the help you need--and then change, then you will find the answer to your partner's anger. He may never recover (it can last a whole lifetime), but you can go forward and live a more peaceful existence---you deserve it and so does your family. Good Luck--you will get through this. OK to email me anytime to let me know how everything works out! nancy

Anger management class for highly educated professionals

May 2005

I am looking for Anger Management classes that cater to highly educated professionals. My husband yells at the kids which at times brings them to tears. He is not physically abusive but I know his shouting is causing harm to the children. My goal is for my husband to learn various skills and tricks to handle his outbursts in front of the kids. I only have one shot to try and get my husband to go to classes so I am very particular that he is in a class with his peers. Please advise. - Trying to keep the peace!

My husband would highly recommend the anger management class at Kaiser Richmond. We got it off this list serve, where it was very well recommended many times in the past. It's open to all (dont' need to be a Kaiser memeber). He said that the teacher was great, the work book was very useful (I hope to glance at it some time). These classes were NOT for folks who were court ordered to take them, and I think most of the students were dealing with yelling and anger expressed at objects issues and not physical violence on people issues. The classes were once a week on Tuesdays for several weeks in a row. They had homework. I got the feeling that many of the students were professional folks with day time jobs (seems like one of your requirements). The teacher is female, the students were both male and female. Privacy is well looked-after.

My husband wanted to be in more control of his verbal anger and physically expressed anger towards objects, and this class has really helped him a HUGE amount. He senses much more early when his anger level begins to creep up and is able to stop its progression and remove himself from the situation if needed. He is much more able to see things from my and our children's point of view. The teacher got across to the students that their family members who watch them slam their fist into the wall, at that moment aren't really sure that they won't be hit next. It broke my husbands heart a bit to get how that behavior scared us, and he doesn't do it anymore. He also doesn't yell much anymore. He also doesn't try to make me listen to an ineffective high volume lecture from him anymore. Things have really changed for the better for us, and I am very grateful to that teacher at Richmond Kaiser. We are setting a much better example for our children, and we have created a muchmore even keeled and harmonious home for ourselves. happier mother

I was helped A LOT with anger issues by attending a parenting class and follow-on Jin Shin Jyutsu body work with Leah Statman. Actually the Jin Shin helped the most. If you want to contact her, just drop me a line, and I can connect you. Best of luck to you whatever path you choose. meg ( Editor note: Leah Statman passed away in 2011. )

Kaiser has a good one. Open to the public. About $75 for 6-8 weeks, IIRC. Ray

2004 & Earlier

Anger management class for a mildly angry person

June 2003

Does anyone know a good anger management class? I am looking for one for someone whose problem is mild and far from violent. I don't think he would benefit from something which is pitched for people with more serious problems. He is presently signed up for the Kaiser class. Do people have any experience with that class? Or recommendations for other classes?

The Kaiser sponsored Anger Mangement Class is ideal for a person who is not violent or court appointed. They are open to members and non-members alike and follow an 8 week curriculum that was developed by Kaiser and is taught at any Kaiser offering an Anger Management Class. I am the coordinator of the class in Richmond, and just speaking from my own experience with our instructor and this class, its extremely well evaluated. People like our instructor (she is an expert in anger management) and they like the materials, and of course the chance to interact with the class members. The next 8 week class in Richmond starts on August 13. Its a very popular class and I think word of mouth seems to keep it full. Call 307-2210 if you're interested. Joyce

The ReNascent Center in Sonoma offers a workshop series dealing with anger. For more information check out their website, Their classes and workshops tend to be very experiential. Highly recommended. Joe

Husband who gets incredibly angry over small things

March 2003

My husband has finally accepted that he has an anger problem. Let me hasten to say he is in no way a threat to me or our children - he loves us to distraction and would never, every physically hurt us. But he allows himself to get incredibly angry over small things, mostly driving or stuff he reads in the paper. If someone cuts him off on the freeway, he will explode and try to ''get even'' with the person. At home, he gets mad so easily that it is affecting our relationship (fortunately he never blows up at the kids - they are the lights of his life). I know it is affecting his work - he feels that people at work avoid him, and I am sure it is because of his temper.

He has finally admitted that he has a problem. Now, what can be done? He mentioned trying to take an anger management class, but is afraid everyone else will be there because of a court order for beating their wives or something! He is an intensely private man, so I worry that he might have trouble opening up to a counselor. Has anyone had any experience with anger management classes/counselors/techniques? Are there any books that might help him? We have Kaiser for health insurance.

Part of the problem is certainly stress - he works full time, goes to school part time, and we have 2 children under the age of 3 who are 16 months apart. I work 30 hours a week as well, so our lives are not exactly relaxing. anon

I would highly recommend workshops given by Bonnie Serratore at The Center in Sonoma. She has a one-day workshop this weekend called ''Rage to Passion''. She is a master of the emotional body and working with her can give you the ability to shift the role anger plays in your life permanently. Phone 707-996- 9796. She does amazing work. Feel free to contact me if you want to talk about this. Joe

My husband went to Kaiser's anger management class and it was very helpful to him and to us. He calls it ''life-changing.''He learned useable techniques to recognize when his temper was about to flare and ways to shift gears when he felt himself heating up. You can call 752-1075, Kaiser Oakland's health education department to learn more. They offer a single overview of anger management class and then a 10 week anger management class. Also, these classes do not meet the court appointed requirements for domestic violence, so that might alleviate some of his concern. Hope this is helpful! Anonymous

Good luck with the anger management. My husband has a similar problem and has had modest success with a combination of meditation and reading some books, most notably a book by the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hahn, which is entitled (I think) ''Anger.'' Or at least it has anger in the title.

I think an anger management class is a good idea and wish I could get my husband to go. I think a lot of people (males mostly, but not exclusively) learn growing up that this is the way, the only way, to respond to frustrations and stresses. They need to learn a new way to respond, and it seems to me that it is helpful to know that many other people have this problem, so that they are not a monster, or something along those lines, just someone who needs help unlearning an old behavior/habit and learning new ones. Anonymous

We run a great Anger Management Program at Kaiser Richmond. The instructor is wonderful and has been teaching here for almost 3 years. Usually we have men or women just like your husband in the class- stresses of life and anger related to family/kids. There are also people who attend because they were sent from their jobs - but this is not a class for people who have to attend anger management classes for more than 8 weeks. Feel free to call me if you would like more information about this class. A new one is starting on Wednesday, April 2, 7-9pm, $70 for members including a book ''Why Anger Hurts'' and a syllabus. Joyce at 307-2211.
Joyce Appelbaum

You are quite fortunate. For one, your husband has admitted to his problem. Secondly, Kaiser Oakland has a wonderful Anger Management program. I am a therapist and I have recommended the class to my clients as an adjunct to our therapy and have been very pleased with the what I have heard from them and the results I have seen. Your husband might put up some resistance (ie no one in the group will have my same issues etc.) but I highly recommend this particular program. It is also open to non-Kaiser members.
Sandra Bryson, MFT

My dad, who is retired, was forced into an anger management class, also through Kaiser, by my mother. So there's an example of someone not going through the court. From what I hear, it's a good thing. Your husband's worries sound like he's just uncomfortable dealing with the problem or acknowledging it's a problem. My dad is not really physically violent either, but the anger is just as damaging. Try to encourage (or coerce?) your husband. Sooner rather than later. anon

Bravo, bravo to your husband for admitting he has a problem, and for you in supporting him in his efforts to change. He will need to do much of the work himself, but you can be there for him--as it sounds like you are. I don't have much specific advice, but I want to STRONGLY state that your husband is doing the right thing by seeking help. I am the adult daughter of a father whose behavior was very similar to that which you describe in your husband, and let me tell you, your husband's actions ARE affecting your children, even if the anger is not directed ''at'' them. Quite simply, your children are learning how to respond to the inevitable angers, stresses, and frustrations of life as they watch their father go about his daily life...hopefully they have a more positive role model in you, but still, they are absorbing it *all* like sponges. I know because I am there: at age 36 struggling to undo those angry ways of being in the world that I learned from my father, trying not to pass them on to my own infant son. For me, two years of therapy helped, part of which involved confronting my own parents about their behaviors when I was a child. (Chances are, your husband had one or more angry caretakers.) My mother claimed that my father's anger was just related to the ''stress'' of a demanding job, but--surprise--now he is retired and he is just as angry as ever! I'm sorry I can't recommend a specific therapist or program locally, since my therapy took place elsewhere. But an excellent book is ''Emotional Intelligence'' by Daniel Goleman, and another is ''When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within'' by McKay, Rogers, and McKay. I just want to re-affirm that he is doing the right thing by seeking help. Best of luck your family.
Still Working on It.

I empathize and understand the issues involved with coping with an angry husband. You and your husband are fortunate to realize that there is a problem as many men are in deep denial about their anger and the impact on those around them. That said, here are my suggestions for dealing with this complex problem. In the case of my husband, we have been working with this issue for the past ten years and have taken these steps. First, I think it is wise to discuss medication with a psychiatrist or a physician who is knowledgeable about these issues. Oftentimes, there is an underlying depression and anger control is much better when this is treated. Second, I recommend that both of you see therapists. There are two that I recommend: Albert Dytch 452-6243 works with men and does men's groups for anger management. The group work is vital because the men are very good at giving each other feedback and understanding and confronting the challenges involved. While a few of the groups are court ordered cases, others are men from all walks of life, but mainly professionals. Albert generally separates these groups so your husband would not be dealing with the court group. But you also need a group and/or therapist. I had to learn a whole new set of communication skills so that I could recognize what was happening and learn to set clear limits. I recommend Deborah Joy, 524-8284. It is possible that Kaiser has some resources, you would need to check. Finally, there are many books on the subject but I recommend two that worked well for us: For him: ''Anger Kills'' by Redford Williams and Virginia Williams. I know it sounds dramatic, but the book is actually a very practical source and not too time consuming. The second book is called the ''The Verbally Abusive Relationship'' by Patricia Evans. This book helps to provide a framework for considering your interactions and identifies the ways that anger can be abusive. It can be a real eye opener. I wish you good luck, perseverance, and am sending much support for taking action on this issue for yourself and your children.
You are not alone

I took an anger management class at Kaiser Richmond a few years ago. I did not go with any expectations or fears (just knew I needed help with my anger). I found it worthwhile. The instructor was okay, but the materials and the class discussions made up it (she wasn't bad, just not inspiring). I think Kaiser contracts out to different people to teach their various classes, so I doubt she is still there teaching AM. I don't believe any of the folks taking the class were there by court order. Worth checking into, in my opinion. anon

Family therapist for anger management

Nov 2002

Can anyone recommend a family/marriage therapist in South Berkeley? Are there people who specialize in anger management? We would prefer someone with evening hours or weekend hours. Thanks.

An excellent therapist who specializes in anger management is Albert Dytch, MFCC. He works with individuals, couples and families. He also does anger management groups for men. He is located near Lake Merritt in Oakland. His phone number is 510 452-6243. If he is too far for you, he may be able to recommend someone who works in South Berkeley. Good luck.