When Another Family Member is Abusive To Their Spouse
I've been pulled into a situation and I am thinking I have to act but am not sure where to start.
Long story short, my FIL is staying with us for a few weeks and he is abusive to his wife (she is not currently staying with us).
I have been the recipient of bullying from time-to-time, but I have never been involved in an abusive relationship; I'm very green when it comes to any nuances of relationship abuse.
My FIL married a very young woman (legal age), who is from another country and was brought to the country where he formerly lived in a group of workers. He prides himself for having "rescued" them by letting them live with him, while paying for them to attend trade school (baking, cosmetology, etc). Meanwhile, one stuck around and my FIL married her. She clearly stated to me that she was doing it to become a US citizen (subsequently, after many lawyers, hearings, etc., she was denied citizenship). So, to "make her happy" (his words), they moved to a Europen country as a married couple, bought real estate to become residents; almost a year in, she has changed up her interests and he is not happy about it. I know they have been having couples "issues" and I never intended to get involved. However, about 6 months ago, she began contacting me on social media via private messaging asking for help (in broken English she'd write : "help me, he's hurt me fear for my life" or "lock up under bed help please help." "I want to kill myself"). I was told by a friend who used to work with abuse victims NOT to respond because he probably monitors her account and that would not be helpful if he knew I was involved. He's with us for 3 more weeks and she stayed back because of visa issues. Which means, we hear all of their conversations. My family lives in close quarters (kids are homeschooled as we prep for travel) and my FIL refuses to leave the common area to converse with her (or yell at her); he opens every conversation on Facetime with, "you have 2 rings to answer the phone or I will cut off your money, you four-letter-word" and continues to spend the next ten minutes vomiting profanities and "you are -isms" onto her (this goes on throughout the day and night and he does this in front of my kids; yes, we are addressing this aspect. I've seen and heard a lot and I'm not sure I've ever heard someone talk to anyone the way he talks to her. It's horrible. We have worked very hard to build a positive home environment, so we pull our kids away to discuss how this is NOT OK. By the way, he never does this when my husband is around. My husband is aware of this aspect of his personality - and happens to be the opposite of him in this way).
I'm thinking this is a carefully crafted eggshell walk.
1. He is doing this in our home in front of our kids. We are working on this. Tirelessly.
2. Do I look the other way? Laws do not apply to me because of our different countries. Any words of advice or wisdom on how to assist/handle his spouse who is clearly stuck in an abusive relationship? I have never been a sufferer or anxiety but I am not sleeping at night because this is not sitting well with me.