What to say to a toddler with a parent entering hospice
My wonderful sister-in-law is entering hospice after a year battling cancer. Her 3yo daughter knows mommy has been seeing a doctor a lot to help her tummy feel better. But this time mom will be going straight from the doctor's to a hospice center, not coming home. I presume there are counselors at the hospital and hospice center to provide guidance on this for my brother, and it is his conversation to have. But for anyone who has been through this, what did you find helpful -- or not helpful -- to say to a child of this age in response to questions about why mommy is sleeping somewhere else, and when will she come home?
May 30, 2025
Parent Replies
My husband died when our older daughter was 3. The hospital had a child life specialist who advised to discuss these things in a direct/transparent and age appropriate way for children (e.g. don't use euphemisms like 'sleeping' which children could interpret in unintended ways). They also provided story books to open the discussion, though my child was not interested in them. What she did find meaningful was books about her father including a memory book from his colleagues, books printed from google photos, and board books I made from Pinhole Press.
Thank you to all who replied above, and to me directly. For anyone looking for resources in the future, I also received this Children's Bereavement guide from Sutter Health, which we found extremely helpful. https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/9ufq8dz73gxcdthkol9lw/Sutter-Children-s-Bereavement-Packet.pdf?rlkey=1wrrrj7h0x0hs4u0518si1gp4&st=re4o8byo&dl=0