Traveling to Asia with 21-month-old twins

We are traveling with twins who will be 21 months old to Asia - 12 hours first leg and 7 hours second leg. I'm just looking for any tips or advice (or just words of encouragement/caution) if you've ever done this. They have never flown before but we have taken them on car trips (4 hours at the most) and have stayed at quite a number of hotels.
We bought seats for them, so I'm not sure if car seats or the CARES harness would be better. And would we have to be separated (one parent, one child) in different rows? 
Also, any experience with the time change adjustment is appreciated! 

Thanks in advance!

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If you’re on Facebook, I highly recommend joining the group Traveling with Babies and Toddlers. Tons of good information on there that has helped me in the past!

We have taken our child to Europe on trips a little shorter than yours three times (6 months, 2 y, 3 y).  While each age has its challenges and each trip has its meltdowns, all the trips were worth it.  Eventually the flight will end and you will never regret going! Here are some practical things that worked for us:

  • The Fly Tot: This is an inflatable cushion that fills up the footwell of the seat, making the seat into a lay flat toddler bed.  With a swaddle stretched from video screen to head rest to form a light-blocking tent, it has worked like an absolute charm for us and our kiddo has slept for the majority of the long-haul overnight flights.  (We did not take car seats because our kid never slept particularly long in his and they're so heavy to schlepp.)
  • Fun distractions on the plane that buy you 15 minutes:  Puffy stickers and painters' tape to decorate the seats, make roads, etc. (the kind that will come right off), Koosh balls (won't roll through the plane, also a sensory soother), Paint with Water books 
  • And screens obviously :) 

On the time change adjustment, I worried so much about this, always expected the worst, and was consistently proven wrong. Our child is generally a good sleeper, and he adjusted faster than we did.  Maybe because they don't know jet lag exists, they're just not in their head about it.  In my experience, things smooth out in a few days. 

I wish you saint-like patience and good travel luck!   

I haven't done a long flight like this with kids this age, but wanted to recommend the Facebook group Club Bebe Voyage. It's an amazing community of parents sharing tips for traveling with kids. If you use Facebook, you should ask this question there too! Also FYI I've heard some airlines/countries don't allow the CARES harness so make sure to check on that and if it is allowed, get the policy printed out and bring it with you because some flight attendants might not know. Hope you have a great trip!

We started flying to Australia when my son was 2.5 yrs old. The planes are big so just get four seats in a row and let the kids spread out and sleep across your laps. Take an overnight flight and let them sleep first then iPads and snacks when they wake up and lots of walks up and down the aisle. It’s never been that bad for us. 

I have used both and would recommend car seats over the CARES harness for that age - car seats are more reclined and cradle them a little, so it's much more comfortable for sleeping. Car seats can't block someone else's exit, so if your plane has four seats in the middle, they could put you there with the car seats in the two middle seats. Otherwise you'd be split up - window/middle or middle/aisle in the center aisle. I think middle/aisle would be better because then you can get out of your seats without climbing over someone with your kid.

As for surviving the plane ride, lots of snacks and lots of things to do. Screens probably won't buy you much time at that age, but we mostly did little activities like stickers, wikki stix, those Melissa and Doug painting books where you paint with water, and lots of books. That's a hard age for travel because they will want to be super active and there's nowhere to go. We did lots and lots of walking up and down the aisle. We got the OK from our ped to give our then-17-month-old melatonin to help him sleep on the plane and adjust to jet lag (12 hour difference), I think the bottle says 2+ but she said it was ok for limited use for a short time.

Jet lag is hard with kids. We have done the 12 hour difference a few times and I think my favorite approach now is to let the kids sleep any time they will, and sleep then too if you can. It takes longer to get on the right time, but being up with your kids at 2am is less miserable if you have also had a 5-hour nap during the day.

Good luck!

We have an 11 year old and we flew to Asia with him every year starting at 20 months until Covid shut down travel, so we have a lot of experience! First, the bad: 21 months is right in that 18-36 month window when it's really hard to travel with kids, so be prepared! OK, here's the good: we managed it, it was totally worth it, and it only gets better from here! As for car seats, you'll need to call the airline. I believe our airline did not allow car seats on the flight, so we brought a Cares harness, which he resolutely refused to use. Every airline has a different policy, and sometimes different policies for different flights and different planes, so definitely check ahead. We ended up not taking a car seat with us at all, as we wouldn't be using it in Asia, and it was so much easier to get through the airport without it. Since you have kids you can ask for a Bulkhead seat so the kids can play around your feet. Sit together (don't separate!), because at some point during the flight, one of you will need to go to the bathroom, so you'll need an adult in the seat to watch an awake or sleeping baby. For the flight, at 20 months my son wasn't interested in iPads or TV's, and if he was, he only looked at it for 5 minutes and then he wanted to do something else. Bring lots of things to distract your kids. We found the plastic water bottles they hand out on the flight were GREAT for squeezing and banging. Bring lots and lots of snacks. Bring a bottle or a sippy cup to suck on during take off and landing for their ear drums. And bring lots of throw up bags or tubs, extra diapers, and lots of changes of clothing for babies and adults. Bring some disinfectant wipes to clean the space, but honestly, there's not much you can do if they are eating off the floor. This too shall pass.

Once you are there, make sure everyone sticks to a regular schedule as much as possible. Eat when everyone else is eating, that will reset your body clock the fastest. Try to immediately put your kids on the new clock, wake them up in the morning at a reasonable time, keep them awake until nap time, and wake them up if they nap too long. If they fall asleep in the car, wake them after 20 minutes. Bring snacks with you everywhere. Get lots of sunlight. Try to stretch them so they go to bed at almost a usual bedtime. If they wake up in the middle of the night, try to pat them back to sleep, or else give them a snack and play quietly with the lights low. Don't turn on the lights or get up and start your day till at least 5am. The younger the child, the faster they adjust to the time change!

As your kids get older, the iPad can entertain them longer, and flights get more and more tolerable, until they are just easy. My son is now 11 and an expert traveler. Good luck!