Tips on finding the right sperm donor

We are a married same-sex couple (two women) looking for a sperm donor who has shared interests with us, is in good health, and hopefully looks a bit like the non-carrying parent. We’d like to get to know the donor, maybe even have a friendship first. We have been very conscious about our decision and preparation; we don’t plan to start trying to conceive until next year. At this time, we'd really like to avoid going the sperm bank route. We know sibling networks are a great source of support to many families, but we each grew up with big bio families who are very different from us.

Has anyone succeeded in finding a donor in the local Berkeley community? How did you connect? 

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Twelve years ago we were in the same boat as you two are. After many false starts we finally lucked into finding some obscure website (that I don't think even exists anymore). On it we found someone who happened to live locally and while it didn't work out with him, it DID end up working out with his husband! So now both families have two daughters and we're all in each other's lives like family. It's really been an amazing experience. I wish our wonderful experience could help more for you and your situation! Feel free to call or email me if you want to talk more about it. At first our process felt long and slow and hard- and sooooo frustrating. But now, looking at the way it's all worked out... Now we know how lucky we are to have had things fall into place in such an amazing way! I wish the same for you. 



mailisha.chesney [at]