Therapy for sensitive preschooler?

Hello! We have an awesome 4.5yo kid who is highly sensitive and is overwhelmed with everyday situations like getting dressed, having a meal, going to bed etc.  Any change, particularly holidays or a parent traveling sends the kid off the rails for weeks (or even months).  To be honest we are at wits end, we’ve tried strategies that books offer and we end up testing things that may help a bit, and some days are sunny days, but we cannot have a stability.

Has somebody approached this via child therapy?  In the end, I feel I am not giving my child what he needs and I am wondering if somebody has worked with a therapist that can help manage/help self-regulate/provide further strategies for sensitive kids.

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I have found occupational therapy to be extremely helpful for my sensitive (now 5 year old). We had her assessed by a developmental pediatrician -- get a referral from your regular pediatrician -- who found that she had sensory processing issues. OT helps with all of these every day challenges. We are at Full Circle for OT. They usually have a waiting list but if you are flexible about the first appointment they can usually find a way to fit you in. 

I echo the first respondent - it sounds like you will want to explore an evaluation with a developmental pediatrician for some of the issues you discuss, and once you have an official diagnosis you can begin therapy. Wishing you a smooth road!

After my twins began kindergarten, one of them began exhibiting separation anxiety and would plead with staff to call her parents and assure she was going to get picked up from school. By the end of the school year her teacher recommended I get help for her. I found Dr. Fortunee Kayra-Stuart and she saw my daughter weekly for seven months. Her twin sister attended with her biweekly, and the four of us would have a family session every 4-5 weeks. Dr. Stuart employs play therapy. She’s a remarkable, incredibly experienced and knowledgeable psychologist and I remain very grateful for all she did with/for all of us. My daughter gained the confidence and assurance required and Dr. Stuart eventually ended the sessions.
This was almost 20 years ago and Dr. Stuart appears to still be in practice. https://www.child-psych.org/child-psychologists/fortunee-kayra-stuart/

Best wishes for a positive outcome for your family. 

I am a therapist and have worked with children before. I would absolutely recommend looking for play-based therapists or art/music therapists to support your son. Highly sensitive kids are also incredibly gifted and need a lot of support and tools to help them through, and the help out there is absolutely transformative and worthwhile. All the best to your family and your son!

I agree with the posters suggesting starting with a developmental pediatrician.  When you say that you you are "not giving my child what he needs", I hope you can talk to the pediatrician, because I think you are doing a great job in trying to figure out what might help best.