Therapist recommendation for spouse triggered by baby's crying?
TL;DR, seeking any sort of therapist who can help a parent with sensory issues stemming from childhood trauma. OT, talk therapist, whoever. Ideally in-person in the East Bay.
CW: description of self-harm.
My husband is extremely triggered by our 15mo’s crying. IMO it's a normal amount of crying, she gets momentarily upset over random things like not being allowed to dig through trash, and when she's tired/hungry. Can usually be fixed with cuddles, which husband is unable to provide when he's triggered. She has a 30-min uncontrollable tantrum about once a month, usually when she has a short nap at daycare.
He knows the trigger from his own childhood trauma, and he never ever takes it out on the baby or on me. He almost always leaves before he explodes. Tonight was actually the first time I saw him explode, and we've been together for 15 years. He's been punching himself in the face when he's overwhelmed by the noise, and headphones don't help much. Loop earplugs were recommended to us, but he says they don't work well. He's constantly sporting bruises around his eyes and he knows this can't go on forever. (He's been borrowing my makeup for Zoom calls at work...)
He's been to talk therapy before, which really helped him unpack a lot of childhood things. He's still working through it and I know he's trying his best, but he needs immediate help with the sensory issues. He's done some research already but the therapists he's found have no availability. I wasn't sure if there was some kind of triaging system for someone who's actively hurting themselves (although not seriously). Any advice would be appreciated.