Therapist for One Partner in a Bad Marriage
I am looking for a therapist for myself only (we tried couples therapy and my husband just refuses to really participate). I have many years of deep resentment and anger towards my husband for his absence in our marriage and our children’s lives. I often say that I’m a married single mother - because I have taken on 95% of the household work and child raising (while also working the same amount as him). My main issue is that I feel very alone, he is (what I believe) to be very selfish and too independent. He is very checked out, and when I have voiced my issues - either calmly or out of anger - he just walks away as if truly he never heard me. Every little request (can you please not forget to bring the jackets from the car) to major requests (you will be there for this appointment, it’s important to me), he almost always doesn’t follow through. I often joke to him (and I truly believe this) that if I was being murdered in the room next door, I don’t even think my husband would hear me or even save me. So it’s bad.
I am not fully there on divorcing, because we have two young kids. My issue is that my anger towards him is now becoming on display in front of my children. And I am sure it is, and will, affect their childhood. Does anyone have any recommendations for a therapist that I can talk to, to help me accept this marriage, this reality, for the time being and give me tools to express my anger in a more productive way. Nothing has worked and since divorce is currently off the table, I want to learn how to live my own life with little expectation from my husband and still somehow be happy.
I would so so so appreciate any recommendations.