Toddlers at preschool biting and not sharing
My almost 29 month old has a lot of trouble sharing with his classmates in day care and when a kid takes away the toys he is playing with, he tries to bite them. I talk to him everyday that sharing is important and that the toys are for everyone and he needs to remember to share. He has been the only child until 5 months ago that we had our second son a few days before he turned two. His teachers tell me that his behavior is due to his baby brother but he loves his brother so much and never argues for attention since I try to give them equal time. It is harder to focus on just him since I breastfeed his brother and I barely have any energy with a toddler and a baby. Are there any recommendations on teaching a two year old to share?
My other concern is that the kids are biting him (HARD!) and today he came home with deep scratches in his face due to sharing. It has not been the first time, and he even has marks from the very first time they scratched his face just a few days before picture day. I've spoken to the teachers about this, and they tell me that they have spoken to the parents but they don't cut the child's nails. I just don't know what to do! I can only teach MY son to not do these things, but what happens when they do that to him? The school tries to keep the names of the children confidential since they are children, but I've even spoken to the center director and nothing has changed.
I know my son is not a bully, he just refuses to share which I want to find a way to fix so that hopefully the biting and scratching towards my son stop. HELP!
Parent Replies
There are several ways where the daycare center seems not to be managing the situation properly.
First, at two and a half, children are more than ready to learn how to take turns. I'm surprised that the daycare center isn't managing the situation better, in facilitating sharing and teaching better toy etiquette. In my daughter's toddler class last year, they taught the kids not to grab toys that another toy still had in their hand. If a conflict came up over a toy, the kids learned to ask a teacher for a timer, or a teacher intervened and facilitated taking turns.
Second, in addition to trying to prevent incidents through the above means, the teachers should also be talking with kids every time an incident happens about not biting or scratching, and relaying incident reports to all involved parents asking them to reinforce the message at home.
Third, it's reasonable for daycare centers to require and remind parents to keep the children's nails trimmed.
Finally, kids bite and scratch each other at daycare sometimes. But the teachers should be managing the situation more proactively.