Hi i'm new on this forum. My 9 year old has been assessed as gifted and ADHD (2e). My 5 year old hasn't been assessed for either but we plan do an assessment soon. We don't live in the Bay Area but we were looking to move there for the private schools for 2e children. I looked through the prior posts and thank you to everyone that's shared your experiences about all the other wonderful schools there. It's really helpful.
We started to look into applications for private schools (most of them were mentioned on this forum) and they all want teacher recommendations. My son sometimes struggles with school - they're on a number system and he usually gets 2's and 3's on a scale of 1 to 4. He always knows the material back and forth when we review it at home and every tutor he's had says he's bright and he knows the material, but he's not great at completing in-class assignments or performing on tests. We weren't too worried - we thought maybe he just needed some time to grow and mature, but when we got him assessed for ADHD a couple months ago, the Psychologist also tested him for being gifted and told us he was. She told us that his neurodiversity is impairing his ability to excel in school. (this is what started us on a school search and ultimately this forum).
His current and prior teachers are NOT going to write him favorable recommendations. They all say he's distracted, doesn't focus, is sometimes lazy, is day dreaming. We didn't share his diagnosis with his current teacher or ask her for accommodations (504 for example) because in our extensive communication with her this past month, we think she can be vindictive and that she's not supportive or nurturing at all.
Has anyone had experience applying to schools when you're unable to produce good recommendations? I do plan to contact the admissions offices of the schools we intend to apply to, but we were hoping for some general insight and to see what your experiences have been in this situation.
Thanks so much.