Support for parent of young adult with substance abuse issues

I have been to many Alanon meetings and will likely continue to go from time to time.  That is not what this post seeks.  I am a single parent of a 21 year old who has had substance abuse issues since the age of 13.  In every adolescent rehab, adolescent intensive outpatient treatment, and adult rehab my child has been to there were family groups, which included times for families to speak to each other without the qualifying person present.  I always found that support and safe space in which to share invaluable.  (The Alanon meetings I've gone to do not allow cross-talk.)  I am hoping someone knows of groups that focus on living with addicts, and which offer opportunities for support and sharing.  In the East Bay, west of the Caldecott Tunnel, would be ideal.  Thank you!

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No 12-step meetings will allow cross-talk. I frequently go to Nar-Anon (qualifier is 17 y/o daughter). The way to get the support you seek is to network with other individuals in the meeting who have/have had situations that resonate with you, then meet with them outside the meeting. I've gone to meals or shopping with other group members, I also talk to my sponsor outside the meeting when I need to (or call someone on our call list if I'm in a bad frame of mind).  So the support comes from the individual contacts you connect to at the meetings, albeit not IN the meetings. I think you should consider Nar-Anon in addition to Al-Anon -- many of us have the impression that for some reason, Al-Anon tends to be for spouses and children, while Nar-Anon seems to attract more parents. You could also ask private therapists if they are aware of any non-12-step support groups. And lastly - on those occasions where there are less than 5 people in a meeting, sometimes we'll take a quick group conscience to allow for SOME dialogue during the meeting, but everyone has to agree to it and be respectful in any case.  Hope that helps.