Struggling with bite discomfort & looking for orthodontist recs

Hello BPN Community, 

I'm a Berkeley mom who has had a hell of a rough year with a diagnosis and surgical removal of a pituitary tumor, and associated hormonal issues that have left me with a totally messed up bite and associated TMJ / neck & nerve pain. I started orthodontic treatment (Invisalign) over a year ago (before diagnosis) with a pretty well-regarded orthodontist in Albany, but her practice consists almost entirely of teenagers with uncomplicated teeth situations. I don't feel that my treatment with her is headed in the right direction; she's making my bite narrower and my lower jaw more recessed, and I believe it's exacerbating my discomfort. I'm having a lot of difficulty in communicating with her on this, she doesn't seem to value my perspective or input and is focused on executing her own plan.

Recently I got a second opinion from another well-regarded orthodontist in Kensington, and she feels my first orthodontist is certainly on the wrong path. This is affirming but also a bit maddening because I've invested so much (money/time/effort). She agrees with me that widening my bite and allowing my lower jaw to move forward would be better for my health. However she proposes some kind of bone grafting surgery to accomplish this, and another >$10K investment for switching treatment to her.

I'm wondering if there are other adults out there with TMJ / bite discomfort who have sought orthodontic treatment in the area and have found a provider who listens to them and also promotes conservative / less invasive treatments. I'm also looking for general recs/advice on professionals who might be able to help me more holistically. Also, if anyone has experiences they are willing to share of healing from or moving past this kind of difficulty or pain. I find myself in a rough spot and in need of some encouragement. Thanks.

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I have been very happy with Dr. Mona Moy in Montclair. She has a conservative, holistic approach, while not ruling out surgery when truly necessary. She has done an outstanding job in resolving problems created by orthodonture that included removal of 2 teeth, when I was a teenager. That earlier orthodonture had caused problems with wear and tear on my jaw, messed up bite, and TMJ. She is highly capable with both orthodonture and dentistry. She is great at communicating her treatment approach and provides clear answers to my questions. She often provides multiple options for treatment, with a clear explanation of the pros and cons of each approach, which allows me to make an informed decision. She has provided excellent referrals to other professionals for other medical services. My son and husband have also received excellent care from her, for very different types of dental issues. Although dental work is not my favorite activity, I always look forward to my appointments because she is such a delightful person, in addition to having excellent professional skills.

Is it possible an oral appliance would be helpful?  I just went through the process for sleep apnea with Dr. Peter Chase in Walnut Creek, who was knowledgable and good to work with.  I raise the possibility because the objective/theory is to use the appliance to widen the bite and make the lower jaw less recessed.  Might be worth a consultation?