Seeking Therapist for Oppositional Teen
My lovely, funny, smart 14yr old has had escalating anger during conflict at home--toxic name calling, destroying property, walking out and leaving the house, making physical threats and intimidation. He has not responded to negative consequences or rewards, he just digs in. We've worked with a therapist and they've been helpful but I really need someone who won't just listen but can provide hands-on parenting techniques and coaching that works specifically with oppositional kids. I'd prefer a male and someone in the Oakland/Berkeley area but would be flexible if they are great with teen boys (and their parents!) on issues around impulse control, anger and conflict. Thank you!
Oct 30, 2018
Parent Replies
I highly recommend the Parenting Strong Willed Kids class that Kaiser offers, I believe you don't have to be a member to take it. I know several families that have taken the class and we have been using the class manual to guide us in parenting our oppositional, strong willed teen. It has been extremely helpful with concrete advice on setting the appropriate boundries for a teen with this sort of temperament as well as giving him more space in certain areas so that he doesn't feel the need to power trip via rebellion. The book is called "Changing Destructive Adolescent Behavior." Strong willed kids are more likely to engage in destructive behavior and less likely to accept parental input or use the mistakes of others as learning experiences for the themselves. There's a stubbornness, curiosity, lack of fear and desire to experience things first hand. One key to becoming a more effective parent is realizing that you don't have "control" over your child, but you do have "influence." Trying to control will lead to rebellion when strong willed teens want to show they can't be controlled.