Seeking male therapist for chronically misunderstood 17yo son

My son was diagnosed with ASD at age 14 and has completely rejected the label, will not talk to any therapist who presents as working with spectrum kids. That said, he has been perpetually misunderstood by family and friends because of his ways of thinking, speaking, reacting and behaving — which align closely with “high functioning” ASD. 

He has worked with a therapist for 3 years now but has found her to be “useless”, “she doesn’t understand me”. That said, I have noticed that he has learned to slow down his reactions and he seems to have learned more useful language for talking about his feelings. He has only remained with her for this long because of the inertia around finding a new therapist. 
He says he is “ready to bite the bullet” now and find a new therapist because he is angry, down, frustrated with how people continue to misunderstand him and vice-versa. He insists on having a male therapist — and as above, he will refuse to talk to anyone who wants to help him in the context of his diagnosis with ASD. We have tried to find some leeway with him on this — it would be so helpful — but there’s none. 
that said — any recs for a male therapist? We are in Oakland but would travel and would be willing to pay a lot for someone who is wise and talented. 
Feeling grim but determined,


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Peter August, MFT, on Piedmont Avenue, helped us when our son was a teen. He does know ASD but his style is not diagnosis-based. He definitely tries to connect with and understand his clients. Our son liked him a lot, and my partner and I found him more helpful than many other therapists/specialists we saw during those rough years. 

My son is also 17 and has had remarkably similar issues. He saw Dr. Alex Klein at Kaiser in Oakland for years and that helped him tremendously. He attended Dr. Kein's group for ASD kids/teens and also saw Dr. Klein one on one. We also did some group therapy at Communication Works. Feel free to message me if you like. My son may be a good resource for your son as he has similar issues and is now doing pretty well 

Hi - Almost 6 years ago my then 17 year old son had escalating issues with anxieties.  A counselor at his school recommended Jon Frankel, who I assume still practices in the East Bay. My son's experience with Jon was excellent - seems as though Jon was thoughtful, intelligent and well practiced at navigating through the shoals of my very intelligent son's frightening (to us both) escalating issues. At the very least, perhaps he can give you some guidance in finding someone to help your son.

We are in a very similar situation with our teen including the resistance to the "label." The inflexibility can be so hard to work with and so exhausting. We are reaching our limit with the help we can get from Kaiser so I'm going to follow regarding recommendations for a therapist. Solidarity.