After school care for 9yo with special needs
I am looking to get some regulary scheduled help with my kiddo. I am a single working mom and I have a nine year old. He has issues with sensory processing, adhd, and epilepsy. While he's quite capable of doing things other nine year olds do, he can be a handful. Between my work hours and his challenges at school lately I am I'm just not able to keep up. I'd like to hire someone for regular hours to watch him and help me out two or three nights a week. They would to pick him up from school at 6pm in Oakland, cook dinner, help with homework, maybe help with clean up or laundry. Truth be told, I'm so overwhelmed, I"m not sure where I even need the help. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to find an incrediblely tolerant, trustworthy person capable of handing a tough kid with a take charge kind of attitude that can help us get on top of things?
Parent Replies
In my opinion, you want someone who will pick your son up long before 6:00. By that time the child is exhausted and it's really too late to be starting homework. I used to have my son in the after-school program until 6 and then fight with him about his homework while trying to fix dinner. It was awful. Pay some more money and get him out of the after-school program for as many days as you can. Let him come home and have a snack and relax for a little bit before starting his homework. Then you can come home to a happy kid who is already done with his homework.
Finding this person is a challenge, we've had a lot of difficulty with it. But it's so worth it. Spend the money and have a happier, less stressed out, more calm child. Remember that he's dealing with social interactions from 8 in the morning until 6 at night. It's exhausting for anyone, even more so for a child with the issues that you list.
Your poor child, and poor you. That is soooooo much to handle. My own son has none of these challenges, and if I were to leave him in daycare until 6 PM he would absolutely fall apart! That is an incredibly brutal day for any child. It is way way too long. Then to be cooking dinner - starting at what, 6:30? While he just starts his homework then? There is no way on earth that most kids can handle that well - my DS is 12 and that would be a huge challenge for him. I think you're so overwhelmed - and I don't blame you - that you're unable to think this through clearly. Hire the sitter to pick him up no later than 4:00. Allow him the great gift of peaceful downtime in his home. Have the sitter start dinner at 5:00 and have him eating by 5:30. Really - I had a more seasoned parent make that recommendation to me a few years ago and it made an instant difference. Start homework before dinner, before he's exhausted. When you get home, you have dinner waiting for you, a fed and peaceful child, and he can have dessert or warm milk or whatever while you eat. Whatever time he's headed to bed, make it 30 mins earlier (in increments) and I am willing to be anything that you will have a dramatically better home life in a week. Your poor boy isn't "tough" - he utterly exhausted and being forced into an adult's schedule at 9 years old. Never underestimate the power of rest, peace, quiet, eating and sleeping early. Your life will change!