Hire nanny before we both go back to work?


We just had our child a few weeks ago and currently have a live-in nanny helping out for the child’s first three months. The nanny will no longer be available after then, however, so we are debating how to proceed from here.

My mother in law will be joining us after the nanny leaves for a month and a half (from late April to early June), and my husband staggered his parental leave so that he starts his leave towards the tail end of my parental leave, but we worry that this may not be sufficient help for baby since I (one parent) will be resuming work around the child’s 4 month mark in mid May. I may have a hybrid working model, so going into the office 3 days a week.

 Given this, I’d really appreciate some advice about whether we would need a separate nanny to help out while mother in law is around, or if it would be okay to wait until after mother in law leaves in June (which coincides with my husband’s parental leave nearing its end, which would mean that both us parents would be working).

 Also, any general advice about how to begin the nanny search process, as well as your thoughts on daycare timeline (when to start looking, how you went about the search, any recs..) would be much appreciated!

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So mom is going back to work when baby is about 4 months old, at which time both dad and grandma will be taking care of baby? I don't think you need a third adult to take care of the baby at that time. You should be thinking about a nanny for when grandma leaves and dad goes back to work full time, in June, or in fact that should be dad's assignment during the period of May - be the lead on finding a nanny (for you both to agree on, obvs). Also you might want to think about staggered leave for yourself through the end of the calendar year or end of breastfeeding time. Don't underestimate how stressful it is to go back to work with an infant you are the main foodsource for, even if you're in the same house. I felt like my brain was split with all the effort of calculating feedings.

I would say just start the search for a nanny and when you find the one that you like, you can talk about start dates. Leave some overlap so that the nanny can shadow for a few days. Also, I would check in with mother-in-law so that you have a sense of what her expectations are to make sure you’re on the same page. I was all gung ho to do full time mothering to my newborn and it was just too much with breast feeding at night and insomnia and a colicky baby. I ended up hiring our nanny early, on a part time basis so I had some down time for a few hours a day.