Parental control software or service?
I'm interested in recent reviews of parental control software. What are folks using to ensure their kids are safe online (in addition to ongoing conversations)? Our 12-year-old is much more tech-savvy than we are and we're concerned he will easily be able to disable the parental controls. Common Sense Media recommends Bark, NetNanny, Quostodia, among others--do folks like these services?
Additionally, I'm curious if there's anyone we can hire to give us more specific guidance based on our needs. Recommendations?
Thank you so much in advance!
Apr 3, 2023
Parent Replies
In my experience as the parent of a young adult, it is effective to work with your child over time to teach them responsible online habits, with no apps, software, or contracts. You already noted this! Great! This is effective for the long term. Call me skeptical, but I am sure parental control software and consultants are just marketing to take advantage of parents' fears. Check in with your child periodically to make sure they are getting enough sleep, getting their homework done, getting enough exercise, are not disturbed by any contact they may have intentionally or unintentionally seen, etc. If too much online/phone time is a contributing factor, then ask open questions and *really listen* to their responses to come up with solutions. I also don't recommend time limits, I have seen this lead to sneaking and endless negotiating.
BARK worked for us, I highly recommend it. Wish we had done it when our daughter was 12. We didn't do it until she was 15 and looked on her phone one night because she was acting strangely. I couldn't believe what we found. So all the talking in the world didn't help our kid make good choices. I like BARK because we don't have to go thru her phone, it just sends an alert to you when it detects troubling content in texts such as bullying words, self harm, drug use, sexting, etc.. then you can speak with your child if you choose. If there are nude pics it will send you a blacked out version of the pic with a notice (this contains sexual imagery). Also, you can set it to block certain apps (only by age, such as your child can only download apps for 12 and under, etc) You can set it to turn off at the same time each night (our daughter's goes off at 10 but she can still listen to music but has no internet and can't text). You can also set it so they cannot add new contacts unless you approve them. This helped a lot.