Parenting help for power struggles with adopted 12 year old

We are parents of an adopted 12 year old girl. Her behavior at home has gotten worse. We are having a lot of power struggles and need help figuring out the best way to take care of her so are not always fighting. We are looking for a therapist that knows a lot about adopted kids and who understands the adolescent mind. The therapist is for us not for our daughter.

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Laine Demetria, LMFT, helped me to understand how to parent my adopted teenage son. She herself has adopted children. You can reach her at  (510) 703-4766.

Good luck!

Hi I highly recommend Stacy Outten in Oakland. We spent over a year working with her (just my husband and me, our boys not willing to engage in therapy). She was hugely helpful in getting us on the same page and really holding us accountable. We’ve worked with lots of kind people but Stacy was the one who helped us make meaningful change. Highly recommend.

Hi, I know it can be tough, I am also the parent of 2 adopted girls. One 7 and one almost 12.  I see Judy Benziger-Haynes, MSW (925-683-3274) in Lafayette to get parenting tips.  She is absolutely wonderful. And my younger daughter sees DR Maria Chiaia on College Avenue for play therapy. (510-654-3281) One of the best things that my older daughter did for 2 years was join a therapist lead arts and crafts group for adopted girls.  Unfortunately the therapist retired.  I would research to see if anyone else is doing this. 

I have found non violent communication to be very helpful. Also attachment therapy (for myself to heal my own trauma issues triggered by my kid)  Pathways counseling at girls inc has helped us a lot too,  Kaiser a nightmare—avoid if possible. Hang in there! 

My younger daughter attended two years of a group for adopted tweens run by Virgina Keeler-Wolfe who has tons of experience with adoption.

My older adopted daughter is “easy” while my younger one is challenging. I also have friends and family with “difficult” teens born to them.  Don’t give up.