Narcissistic Personality Disorder- need therapist & attorney

I am looking for recommendations for a therapist and divorce lawyer who are familiar with narcissistic personality disorder.  I have been with my husband for 10 years and am ready to move on but I would love to get some support from a therapist and talk to an attorney before starting the process.  Also would love to connect with any moms who have been through this.  We have 2 young kids, 5 and 7 so my first priority is to support them and create a safe environment.  Thanks Anon

Parent Replies

New responses are no longer being accepted.

Greg Silva was my divorce lawyer. I think he was quite good. They are all expensive. YOU need to first learn how to manage an attorney--or manage yourself using the attorney--use attorney as if you were running a business. Otherwise your bill will run up so fast to a huge one. There's a book you should read asap about divorcing a narcissist. I forget the title, but divorce and narcissist is in title so you can find it online.

Lawyer recommendation- hannah sims in oakland. Wicked smart and understands personality disorders

 I don’t know any divorce attorneys but I suggest Cindy Blackett as a therapist. I saw her with my narcissistic ex. She definitely gets how they are and what you go through when you’re married to one. Her office is on Solano. (510) 540-5409.

I so feel your pain. Divorcing someone that has a personality disorder means you're in for a long fight.  ITA with Altavistamom.  Try to do some ground work yourself.  There are so many resources, but I found that the Nolo Press website and their books were very helpful. 

Some personal advice to take care of you:  realize you're in for a long battle.  I finally woke up one day and realized that if I just outlasted Mr. BPD, and didn't emotionally react to his crap, I'd be ultimately win.  Best advice I got:  Just let them talk for themselves.  Don't interject, interrupt or add color commentary.  The crazy will display itself, trust me.  

There is a website called ChumpLady dot com that has a not so common take on divorce and narcissists.  Even if your situation does not involve infidelity (and I'll bet the $13.52 in my purse that it does), it still has useful advice and support for going through a high conflict divorce.

One last thing:  the mandatory mediators that are part of the Alameda County divorce process are hit and miss.  I got one that couldn't even spell my name correctly as his personal appearance was soooo much more important dontchaknow (sorry, sarcasm off).  If you are uncomfortable or feel that soon-to-be-ex is pulling one over on a weak mediator, stop the process and ask for another.  

Hoping that your divorce is fast, your settlement satisfactory and you find peace.