Moving w/ 2nd grader to Sacramento mid-school year
I am currently interviewing for jobs in Sacramento and will hopefully get something by this winter. The idea is to eventually move our whole family to Sacramento to improve our overall work/life balance. My husband's job is based in Berkeley but he plans to work remotely and just come in to the Berkeley office occasionally. My biggest concern is that I currently have a 3 year old (preschool) and 7 year old (2nd grader in Berkeley USD), and I am starting to panic about the idea of moving during the middle of a school year, particularly about the impact it would have on the 2nd grader. I started to talk to the schools in Sacramento and it is not 100% certain whether my 2nd grader would be able to go to her neighborhood school if we started mid-year. I would rather commute from Berkeley to Sacramento for six months than make her transition to TWO different schools within a year, so we would likely only move during this school year if she could start at the same neighborhood school that she would be at next year. I'm optimistic that we will be able to get her a space and move mid-year, but now I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't just commute for six months regardless, and make the transition during the summer. I'm just afraid that doing that commute for six months will be miserable and will defeat the purpose of moving for a better quality of life and to have more time with my kids. But is it really hard on kids to move mid-school year? Either academically or socially? I am actually less concerned about her ability to adjust socially. She makes a new friend every time we go to a restaurant or park, but I'm more concerned about her academic success, because she has had a lot of difficulty with reading and is just now (after a lot of outside tutoring) getting to the point where she can keep up with her peers. She likes her BUSD class, school and teacher and is learning a lot. Though I have talked to her about moving to Sacramento to be closer to her grandparents and she is really excited about the prospect, so that's a plus. If anyone has advice or experience regarding moving mid-school year, please let me know.
Parent Replies
Having moved my then preschool and third grade kids to Hong Kong mid-school year several years ago, I can assure kids can handle mid-year moves. Anywhere. I worried about so many things, not least of all this very thing, but as my therapist at the time said, "You and your husband are the faces of this move. If you embrace it, they will too." She was right.
We moved 3 times -- twice in between years, and once during the year. In my experience, if you move mid-year, you're "the new kid," and that spotlight can be a little intense but also fun. If you move in between years, then you're just the random person who doesn't know anyone, which feels a bit more lonely. Also, if you move mid-summer, then on the "pro" side, she has the summer to adjust to the house and neighborhood, but on the "con" side, she won't have her friends to play with so it could be really boring.
Whether commuting is sustainable will really depend on what your employer will allow and whether you want to drive or take the train. The train is very comfortable and a nice way to commute. But because it comes once an hour, it depends on whether it works for your schedule. Most likely, taking the train means leaving the house around 6:25 AM and getting back around 7:45 PM (if you take a lunch break) or 6:45 PM (if you don't, or if you can make up your lunch by working on the train). Driving gives you some flexibility and shortens the day a bit further, but it is more dangerous and takes away a huge number of hours that you could spend on the train working, doing your taxes, writing your holiday cards, etc. etc. If you can work from home a few days / week, then commuting for six months really starts to be viable. Good luck!