Kindergarten culture clash - move? or private school?
We live in an area that is nice and safe and we like our house and backyard. It's in the Bay Area, but doesn't feel like it. Our child just started at the local elementary school and I am not really loving it. It's decently ranked, has strong parent involvement, and our child enjoys it. I am really not a fan of the homework load for 5 year olds or the amount of junk food that seems ever-present or the fact that they spend a decent portion of time on the computers at least three days a week. The real problem, though, is the school population. We were very excited to go to this school because on paper it is very diverse. In practice, however, almost all of the children of color seem to be in self contained special education classrooms, and most of my child's classmates are white.
The families at this school tend to be working class white families, and I frequently see NRA T-Shirts, Blue Lives Matter T-Shirts, and Make America Great Again hats at pickup. I know that several households have guns, which is something I am deeply opposed to. In addition, most of the kids seem to have smartphones by the 2nd grade or so and when we see them at the park or at school events more than half of the kids are behaving in a way that I would absolutely not want my own child to behave. These are not evil people, they are not overtly racist or homophobic or sexist or... but their entire world view and values are in opposition to our family's and I do not want my children to be raised in the way that they are raising their children. My child has started to make close friends with one little girl who is downright rude to adults and mean to other kids, and her mother takes pride in how "feisty" she is.
We have about two or three like-minded families that we have found, but I feel like we are sort of stuck between compromising our values so our children fit in to the dominant culture at their school or our kids being the weirdos who don't fit in (which was my experience being raised by a hippie family in a rich white suburb in the 80's). We are trying to decide if we should stretch our budget to the max and try to get into Crestmont or if we should just pick up sticks and move to Berkeley, despite extortionate rents. We could just about pull off either option, although we would have to go back to clipping coupons and not taking vacations. I just don't know which is the right option. Has anyone else experienced a similar dilemma? What choice did you make? How did it turn out?