Moving cross country with a 2 year old and 4month old

We may be moving from Oakland to Ohio in a couple months and I'm trying to plan out the best way to tackle this with a 2 y/o and 4 m/o in tow. I think flying with the two kids (and with my mother) while my husband drives the car out, would be the easiest way to tackle this, but he thinks us all driving together would be a better option. Anyone have an personal experience with a big move like this? Would love to hear experiences/advice on what worked and what to avoid. We will most likely be paying for a moving company to do a full pack for us to avoid that major hassle. Thanks in advance for any advice you can give!

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I think trying to drive all that way with kids in restraints will be a nightmare.  You'd have to stop every hour at least to let them out.  And the little one will have to be fed frequently too, so that's a stop as well.  Flying with the children and letting Daddy drive, maybe with a companion so he doesn't get lonely?  Much wiser option.  Take it from one who knows.....

When we moved x-c with young kids I got one piece of advice that was helpful. It doesn't involve the physical moving but the 'what happens when you get there' part. We had a box marked for the things we needed the very first night and then the first couple of days - mostly getting the kids stuff up and running immediately. Ours were 3 and 5 so they had more needs in terms of toys, routines, etc but I think it still applies. A box with paper towels, a few dishes, sip cups, toys, stuffed animas, sheets, trash bags, anything you can use to make their room (especially the two year old) feel as close to "normal" and the same routine and comfortable as possible was a huge help. We were prepared to live with take-out and clothes in boxes and disarray for awhile but it was easier for the kids to have routine. And, be prepared to go slow. We couldn't just do power days of major unpacking and organizing but had  to create a semblance of a regular day for the kids and work unpacking in around their schedules. One of the nicest gifts we received was from friends who scooped up the kids and took them away for the day and came back with pizza and kids at the end of the day. Can't do that with a 4 month old but if someone can watch them leaving you to unpack (and nurse when needed) it would be super helpful. Happy moving! 

Hi Gina,

We just moved from Pennsylvania to Albany with our son who was 9 months old. My husband drove our car with the dog and my son and I flew later. It was great because he could take the things we didn't want to put in the moving truck in the car with him. Flying was quick and avoided constantly pulling over to feed, change diapers, or give our little one a break from the car seat. I think the advice is to pull over every 2 hours for infants and give them a break from the seat. 

Good luck!

We are getting ready to do a cross country move as well! Much as I love the idea of driving out together, it simply isn't possible right now. We are shipping our car (about $900 coast to coast) and all flying together. 

All the best to you and your family! 

Hi there! We moved last summer with a 2 and 3.5 year old - so, yes, some experience with this! You are on the right track and that’s what we did. I flew out with the kids, actually left the kids with family, then flew back out to NY to finish packing for like 2-3 days (we did a pod). I then flew back to get settled in to the new place, etc.  my husband then drove the car out and his dad joined to help.  

It’s a long haul out and after just doing another move with the kids 2 weeks ago, feel like the clean cut with flying out, etc, was much easier on them and us.  Moving is exhausting for everyone and flying out with them made it a little less painful - at least for all of us! If you have any questions, just let me know! :) 

We did a cross-country move from Boston to Oakland a few years back when our kids were 2 y/o and 4 weeks (!!) old, and I’m happy to share our experience. My sister and I flew with the kids, and my husband drove our moving truck and brought his dad along. This setup worked really well for us, because then it was just one day of traveling for the kids vs. 4+, and they were able to get settled back into routines and sleep pretty quickly. My sister’s presence was invaluable, particularly with my 2 y/o, as she was able to help take care of my daughter not only on the plane, but also helped ease the transition to a new place. For my husband and his dad, it allowed them to get as much driving in each day without having to worry about the various things that come with a long car trip with kiddos (especially really little ones): potty/diaper and nursing breaks, poor hotel sleep, fussiness in the car, etc. And they made the most of that very long drive to talk and catch up, which both of them found to be meaningful.

I asked my husband, after reading your post, if he would have made that trip (driving) with all of us, and his answer was “nope!” for the reasons I mentioned above that could make the trip way longer than anticipated, and because of the kids’ routine/sleep being disrupted for longer.

Either way you do it, best of luck on the journey and on your new adventure in Ohio!

We did the opposite move - Pennsylvania to San Francisco in 2015 with a one year old.  My husband's brother and sister flew out to Pittsburgh, my sister-in-law and I flew with the baby and as many pieces of luggage as we could handle - free shipping!  and my husband and his brother drove across the country with our belongings.   We shipped a few boxes and only took what could fit in our suitcases or car and gave away most of our other belongings.   Read such terrible reviews of cross country movers that it didn't seem worth it.  I wanted to drive across country with my husband, but am glad that we flew in the end, not sure how fun it would have been with a one year old. 

We did a similar move last year from East Coast to Oakland. We flew from there. We shipped the car. It is tiring to drive by himself all the way. We got rid of all of our furniture, junk stuff, baby related big toys. We had very little left and we shipped them as well. The size of the houses/apartments is small here. Don't bring everything. Get rid of as much as possible. With kids, flying is much easier.