Mediation with bullying husband
My husband and I are separating, and it is mutual. We have a house together, and a daughter entering middle school - we're going to try to wait to divorce and wait to physically separate into different houses. (We have long slept in separate rooms, and lived somewhat separate lives.) We would like to avoid going to court, but I think that I'm probably going to need a lawyer or some ally to help me negotiate things with him. I don't think the situation is currently contentious, but, as my entire marriage with him has shown me, if I disagree with his ideas or even just tell him how I feel, he rages at me and bullies me, and it is really emotionally debilitating, not to mention nothing practical gets accomplished.
I wonder if any people "who've been there" can remark on the success of mediation when one of the parties is a bully? I know I haven't given a lot of information, and it may be a reductive question, but I've been told by some people that they spent thousands of dollars on mediation only to end up having to spend more on attorneys, and they just wished they'd skipped the mediation part altogether since a person like that cannot collaborate in such ways.
Thank you for your thoughts.