Marriage therapist desperately needed!

My spouse and I are looking for a couples counselor and are having a very challenging time finding someone who is both a good match for us and is also accepting new couples. Our 18-year relationship has deteriorated over a long period of time and neither of us knows how to get things back on track. There are major issues around communication and trust (including infidelity) as well as co-parenting. We were in therapy years ago and did a deep dive into our family histories and the baggage we both bring to the relationship. Although that was helpful and those are important factors that will surely play a part in working on our marriage, we don't want to go back to square one with someone who is overly focused on the past. We are hoping to find someone who concentrates mostly on the practical in the present and future. We also need someone who is comfortable talking with us about sex. We raised this issue with our former therapist multiple times and wound up touching on some of the emotional issues without ever dealing with communication or the physical aspects. Thank you in advance for any therapist recommendations you can provide...we would be incredibly grateful for the help. Berkeley and the surrounding areas are preferable but we're willing to travel.

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I recommend Kathleen Haley! We feel so lucky to have found her. We were hesitant at first because she's in Lafayette and we live in Berkeley, but it is totally worth traveling the extra 20 minutes to get to her. She's so compassionate and has really great techniques and insights for getting marriages out of ruts. I feel comfortable discussing everything under the sun with her and I can't recommend her more! She's also somewhat reasonably priced for the area $150/hour.

My therapist, Natashia Fuksman MFT, is fantastic. I see her alone, but one of her specialties is couples counseling, and she has definitely helped me find better ways to communicate with my partner. She is a somatic therapist, so while she will talk about the past if you want to, one of the tools she uses is a mindfulness-based exploration into the physical sensations/thoughts that appear when thinking about/talking about some sort of issue that is troubling you. In my experience, that often leads to insights that can help work through issues with a situation or with another person. She also specializes in increasing intimacy in couples, so I'm sure she will have no problem talking about sex.

My husband and I saw Rivka Geoghegan in Berkeley and found her to be so helpful.  She really helped us focus on the ways in which we were interacting and shift them to restore trust and emotional closeness.  P

My husband and I had great success with Ilya Parizshky (spelling?). He's very good at dealing with intimacy issues. He sees clients at the Manzanita center in Berkeley.

Hello.  My husband and I worked with Janet Linder.  We both thought she was great.  Our situation was different than yours - we saw her before we got married (13 years ago) and our issues didn't include sex so much as communication - but something about your post resonated.  She was both practical and empathetic. I was feeling very betrayed and she definitely helped me put a lot behind me.  I feel she would have no problem talking about sex.   Good luck.

I recommend Karen Levine, MFT for couples counseling. Karen worked with me and my husband around our long-term relationship issues including communication patterns, parenting challenges, and helping us to figure out what kind of relationship we envision for our future. Karen is direct and down to earth, and definitely comfortable talking about intimacy and sex as well! We had been married nearly 20 years when we started seeing Karen, and we felt immediately that she understood our challenges and was able to offer us very practical tools and strategies. Before meeting with Karen we had seen a few other couples therapists, but felt that they either wanted to focus too much on our pasts, or were unable to really understand our dynamic. We stopped seeing Karen a few months ago, but plan to see her again in the future if we need more help. Her office is in Oakland, near the Berkeley/Oakland border. Her website is Good luck!