Legal Woes with Young Adult/Need an Attorney

My young adult daughter (25) who has been diagnosed with a mood disorder and has impulse control issues recently forged my name and cashed a check (aprox $1200). I have supported her by keeping a roof over her head because she has not been able to hold down a job and has a 4 year old. She refuses to take medication or get any help with her mental health issues and blames me her adoptive mother for all of her problems. She has applied for SSI and doesn't qualify.  In this latest episode when I asked her to give me the check (which she had already cashed) she blocked my car in a parking space in her apartment complex to prevent me from leaving. She then used her car to chase me to the freeway. I did write the forgery and theft up in a police report. I am looking for an attorney to help me set up visits  with my grandson, which is the primarily why I pay her rent. The other factor is I don't want her showing up on my doorstep (She lives in Sacramento) which she has threatened to do. 

Thank you for any suggestions, 


Parent Replies

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First of all, I have the greatest sympathy for you. Secondly, I have advice but you won't like it. Your child is walking all over you like a doormat. You need to set limits with this adult-child or she will just keep doing it for the rest of her life (and yours!). She is your child and you obviously love her and want to take care of her. But you need to teach her that she cannot treat you that way before it is too late, if it isn't already. Boundaries are important, especially for people who have trouble regulating their moods and behaviors. We went through this with our son and a wonderful therapist explained to us that he was engaging in this behavior because we were enabling him and letting him get away with it. In this case, you are also rewarding her for this bad behavior by paying her rent. What incentive does she have to stop abusing you...? She's getting love, support, and money out of it! So here is my advice: stop paying her rent. If you stop paying her rent, perhaps she will get the treatment she needs in order to support herself and start feeling more self-sufficient. (For what it's worth, I am not unsympathetic - my child also has a mood disorder, so I feel your pain.) If she shows up on your doorstep, call the police. It sounds awful, but we went through something similar with our son and it's the only way we were able to get him to stop his abusive behavior. You may need a lawyer, but you also need to step up as a parent in a new and really difficult way. I really feel for you and may the force be with you.