ISO mediator to help me separate from narcissistic partner
The reviews for mediators are old, so I’m posting to see if anyone has a good recommendation for a mediator who can help me separate from my partner who displays many covert narcissistic patterns. We are not married, so “community property” doesn’t necessarily apply, but we own our home, car, joint bank accounts, and have young children. I don’t know what I am legally required to provide (financially) since I am the sole financial provider and have been for close to a decade. My partner has not carried anywhere close to the level of responsibilities that would be expected of a SAHP (ie. I have always worked from home and even though my partner is here, I have continued to shoulder many, if not the majority of the Stay-At-Home responsibilities, such as all the laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, family appointments [med, dental, etc.], childcare throughout the day, signing kids up for extracurricular and driving them to/fro). I honestly don’t even think my partner deserves half of what’s in our bank accounts, since they have not carried even half of the mental load in our lives. During this time, I also paid off their student loan in full. I’ve also basically been paying for our mortgage (and our 2nd mortgage) by myself for the majority of our home ownership, which was never the “plan” when we bought it together. I also feel like the bad guy if I don’t leave my partner with half our money. But my partner refused to find employment for the past 2 years, and has only recently started searching, and even that effort has been limited to “searching”, not actively applying, and they also limit the job search to high-level jobs, vs. any job that will bring us income, that we desperately need. I’m clearly bitter and resentful and I certainly want to co-parent amicably, but I already know my partner is going to make this a painful separation and probably will not be able to keep a “united front” to tell the kids, since they do not wish to separate. I need help. I am clearly trauma-bonded and cannot escape the grasp of my narcissist partner. Has anyone else gone through this? This whole post sounds desperate, because that’s where I am at this point. Send help!