How to deal with girl drama in elementary school?
I have a 10-year old daughter and is in a public school in an affluent city. She had 2 BFFs last few years but felt excluded by both of them so she left them and try to make new friends this year. She tries to maintain friendship with these 2 ex-BFFs and asking for playdates outside of school on one-to-one basis but these 2 girls seem to 'gang' up and reject the playdate invites and of course she's hurt. They had made untrue and unsupported comments about my daughter to other girls. I made the mistake of clarifying the situation to one of the parent and now that parent had also turned against me. I know it is best to allow kids to deal with the issues themselves but I was just trying to explain to the mom the 'untrue' comments about my child but I was told by the parent that 'she trusts her own child'.
My daughter is kind to her friends and not aggressive in nature, but this seems to make her a target to bullies? There's a classmate she tried to befriend with, had playdates, brought that friend to movies, dinners, sleepovers, did activities together. This friend found another good friend in the last week and now seems to gang up with this other friend against my daughter - they would call her names, took items (pencils) from her without her knowing (but she saw her took stuff from her desk and gave it to her 'other' best friend), and then this girl gave out birthday party favors to her class, she gave my daughter the 'ugliest' item and said to her 'You deserved this'.
Unfortunately I don't belong to any parent cliques and wonder if this is affecting my daughter's relationship in school. With each event (e.g. halloween, school activity, etc) I scramble around unsuccessfully to ask for other girls for her to do the activity with because most girls already have their own 'cliques' to do things with.
I don't know if this is a public school behavior, and wonder if a private school with smaller groups will help create healthier relationships/friendships? I am just surprised that such girl drama already starting to exist in 10-year olds. I always think girl drama start during teenage years.
What is your experience with school girl drama, and how do you manage them? I know this is a great learning experience for my daughter, but it just pains me to see why she's the victim of such treatment by other girls of the same age?