Home for sometimes-angry 88-year-old with Alzheimer's?
Does anyone in the network have knowledge of small-group-home care situations in the East Bay for seniors with dementia? I'm hoping to find a private home where (four to eight or so?) residents live full-time with caregivers. I am particularly hoping something like this might exist in Oakland.
Alternatively, recommendations for local geriatric-care advisors who know all the nuances of Oakland-area senior-care options would also be greatly appreciated.
Context: My 88-year-old father is still managing many of his activities of daily living with a modicum of independence despite having fairly advanced dementia. (For example, he can dress himself, but needs to be instructed to change clothes or would otherwise spend days in the same outfit. He can feed himself, but needs to have meals prepared and presented to him, as he would otherwise forget to eat. He can brush his teeth, but needs to be handed a toothbrush with toothpaste already applied.) He has been living in a private room in a lovely, expensive, busy, and fairly large--75 residents--assisted living facility in Oakland for 2.5 years.
Recently, Alzheimer's seems to be increasing his level of combativeness and the ease with which he gets triggered to anger: by the "noise" of other people's conversation, by other residents walking by, by someone telling him, "That's my seat, not yours!" Once he's triggered, he lashes out, shouts and swears at people, and has struck and attempted to trip other residents. We have ruled out typical underlying causes for mood changes (UTI and so on), and added a 2x daily dose of "calming" CBD to his med regimen two months ago. His doctor is considering adding an antidepressant to the regimen next. We are looking into hiring a private aide to sit around with my dad during the day to redirect him to prevent altercations, but this will be prohibitively expensive in the long run, and may just piss off my dad further anyway; he prefers to be "alone in company." If my dad's outbursts don't subside or can't be managed via meds, I have been informed by facility leadership that they'll kick my dad out to ensure the safety and peace of other residents.
I'm hoping this wise network my have thoughts on alternative, smaller care situations, or care homes with a higher ratio of staff to residents, that might reduce triggers for my dad and keep him (and his fellow residents) safe and relatively comfortable in this painful late stage of his life.
Thanks for sharing your knowledge.