Highly Anxious Tenant advice?
Hello. I am helping my elderly mother rent out her old apartment in another state. We typically have graduate student tenants who stay for a year and are very low maintenance, but a year ago we took on a person who is much more high maintenance. I kind of hoped she would move out after her lease term was up, but she is now staying, which in some ways is easier since we don't have to go through the process of finding and onboarding a new tenant. I suspect she has an anxiety disorder, because she has a service animal. She has frequent demands and many seem driven by paranoia. I am an overwhelmed single parent, so these multiplying requests are hard for me to manage. I would love to drop everything every time, but having just paid my taxes in July, its hard to deal with a barrage of urgent messages when I am barely hanging on in prioritizing myself and my child. Does anyone have experience dealing with an anxious tenant? Any advice? It is a very well maintained, but old building serviced by a management company. She has a very good deal on rent. I live remotely. She is asking for things like needing to know why a building repair paused for a day and is she at risk staying there. She messages me multiple time as well as the management company over things like this. The requests have seemed to multiply recently after being more quiet. I have a hard time saying no, or ignoring messages, but its upsetting to prioritize her needs which seem very minor or imagined. Are there strategies for me to ally her fears and worries?
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If you are using a management company, why does she have your contact information? In my experience as a renter the manager handles everything and I have rarely been in contact with the owner. I would let her know that you are unable to manage her questions due to being out of the area and ask her to contact the manager instead.
This is exactly why you have hired the management company. All of her requests should be handled by them. I read a lot of similar messages in various landlord groups on FB, with good ideas about wording, and might suggest you join a few of those. There’s no reason you should be dealing with this when you have a management company. Best of luck redirecting her!
Did you renew the lease or is she on a month-to-month basis now? If it were me I'd consider letting her know something along the lines of 'I answer house-related messages on Mondays,' to set expectations regarding when her messages will be answered. I might also just direct her to the management company after giving her a heads-up that they're the management. Not sure there are strategies for making her "low-maintenance" -- it seems like one main choice would be for you to find a low-maintenance tenant or set boundaries where she may choose to move.
Erratic messages from an anxious high-maintenance tenant, when you never wanted to be a landlord in the first place!
I've been there and feel your pain.
Two ideas:
2. Insist that she deal only with the proprty management company, and ghost her when she messages you.
This tenant should be grateful that she has the apartment and a landlord who does not evade having a tenant with a service dog.
I would hand this off to the management company, that’s what you’re paying them for. We own property which is professionally managed and a tenant once found our home address and sent us a letter to appeal to us about a (reasonable) decision the management company made. We informed the manager who was very protective of us and advised the tenant not to contact us. I appreciate your empathy about your tenant’s anxiety but she needs limits. I suggest advising her gently that the management company is there to answer her questions and you will no longer be available at her disposal. And then stop responding to her. Best of luck to you.
I have a very anxious neighbor (perhaps also borderline personality disordered) who used to be very up in my business and escalatingly unreasonable in a similar way to what you describe. I actually found that the more I engaged with her trying to allay her concerns the more she escalated contact. I finally told her I could no longer communicate with her and blocked her calls and she backed way off. Given that you have a management company I would encourage a similar boundary. Perhaps blame it on the management company ("The management company policy has changed and requests that all communication now come directly to them. In order to comply with their policy I will no longer be able to respond to you directly. Please direct all concerns to...")
I myself am a Berkeley landlord (little granny unit) which is highly regulated by the local Rent Stabilization Board, highly partisan to tenants. Hopefully you are in a more reasonable jurisdiction. That said, your tenant appears to be unreasonable, and it may be best practice to non-renew if at all possible, and get a more reasonable person. In the meantime you have a management company. Can you take yourself out of the equation, changing your phone number if necessary, and not taking her calls. She can call the management company with reasonable complaints and queries. "She needed to know why a building repair paused for a day and is she at risk staying there". This would need clarification if reasonable or unreasonable, whether in the apartment which you rent out and presumably control, or in the building as a whole, which presumably you do not control.
Good luck. YOu have a lot on your plate.
If this living unit is in California, you have made a very serious mistake letting any tenant stay more than a year.
Old buildings may need repairs. Ask the management company to inspect the unit to double-make-sure everything in this old building / apartment is in good order. Anxious people may prefer to move when repairs are needed.
First of all assuming or guessing her disability is really not helpful. Perhaps she has chemical sensitivities and is concerned about exposure. Really it could be anything (and it’s not legal to ask). That said, if you have a management company then it’s their job to communicate with tenants. Just send her an email and state that you understand she has questions and that from now on those should be directed to the management company and you are out of state and not available. Then let the management company know. Trying to push her out by finding things to repair as suggested by another is not ethical. I hope that works out for both of you!