Engagement ring "upgrading"?
My husband suggested that we upgrade my engagement ring. We were married very young, while still in college, and my ring is beautiful but the diamond is small (about 1/2 carat). We have been going to professional and social events lately and my husband commented how he is a bit embarrased when I wear the engagement ring to those outings since the other women's rings are significantly more impressive. It does not bother me and my other jewelry is pretty modest since I don't like flashy but for him the ring stands out. We have the money now to afford a bigger diamond ring but I hesitate. We have been married nearly 10 years and this was my engagement ring all this time. I'm concerned that the new ring will just feel like a nice fashion ring and not like my engagement ring and all the sentiment that comes with it. Anyone had this decision and what did you decide? Also, for those that did upgrade, what did you do with the old ring?
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Would your husband be satisfied if you got an "anniversary" ring that you could wear on the middle finger of your left hand when the occasion warrants it? My engagement ring is pretty modest, but a few years ago I inherited a diamond ring that I started wearing on the middle finger (keeping my engagement ring on the wedding finger), and my hand looks a bit more loaded with diamonds than it used to, which I guess is what your husband is after. My new (old) ring does not actually have a very large stone, but is set with smaller diamonds around it, so it looks more dramatic than it actually is. And worn next to the engagement ring, the overall effect is more dazzling than either ring by itself.
You could also take your engagement ring to a jewellery designer and see if there is a way to upgrade it that incorporates the diamond you have, but I sort of prefer the first option, because then you can keep your modest look for everyday wear. There are definitely occasions when you don't want to be dripping in jewels.
My husband and I were married when we were young students and had no money, either. I believe he actually bought my engagement ring at a booth on Telegraph Ave? Anyway, for our ten year anniversary we both had upgrades to our wedding/engagement rings. I had a replica made of my engagement ring (at Pave Jewelers), but with better karat gold and a real gemstone (the other one was glass, I’m pretty sure LOL). We kept the old ones (they’re in my jewelry box). We feel more attached to our new rings than the original ones because we feel we renewed our vows and commitment to each other with these new rings. We’ve been married over 20 years now, and are still very happy. Hope this helps.
Hello,
I haven't faced this issue, but wanted to pass along an observation. I remember attending social events with my former husband's boss, a man of very large income. His wife still wore an extremely modest engagement ring (probably much less than a half-carat). Believe me, no one assumed they couldn't afford more bling. We figured that they'd married young, when that ring represented a big financial commitment, and that she still wore it proudly to honor that fact, and because of how much it meant to her. I've never forgotten how admirable I found that. It sounds like you'd kind of prefer to keep your own ring, so maybe he could buy you a more expensive "anniversary" ring for your right hand, if it's really important to him that the jewelry you wear reflect your income.
My wife and I faced a similar situation. We simply added diamonds to the existing ring, thus keeping the sentiment intact and making the ring into what it would have been way back when we didn't have enough money. We used 14 Carats up on College Ave. for the upgrade. They did a beautiful job.
I don't know if this would work for you, but because I had an antique ring setting that had a larger diamond surrounded by several tiny ones, we just upgraded the main diamond with a larger carat with the same cut (Asher). So it still feels like my original engagement ring, just with bigger bling. Another option would be to add one or more eternity rings - the kinds that have little diamonds all the way around - to the same finger. I've seen that on other women and it looks dazzling.
I haven't had any reason to want to "upgrade" -- and honestly, a half carat, which is the size of mine also, is not that modest! -- but my mother did. Why? Her hand got caught between the gunwales of two boats during a mooring procedure and her original diamond went to the bottom of the lake! So, okay, not at all a similar situation to yours. :) But anyway, at that point in their lives my parents were significantly more affluent than they'd been when they married, and they did often attend the same kinds of social events you're talking about. She and my dad went to a jeweler and had a new ring designed with a larger diamond and larger, more "artsy" setting as well. I am pretty sure he would have preferred something even flashier, but that wouldn't have suited her taste nor her lifestyle (I mean, she did handle boats...and have a number of other similarly "manual" habits...in addition to going to fancy parties) -- so that part is somewhat similar to your situation. He did also, over the years, buy her a number of beautiful gemstone pendants and earrings, and when they went to "dressed up" events she typically wore those; the effect was plenty "impressive" even among the wealthiest of their social and professional circles. I suggest you go to a good jewelry designer (Pave and 14 Karats are excellent possibilities) and talk about some options that might satisfy both you and your husband. Maybe incorporate your current diamond into a larger setting with other stones in a new ring. Maybe buy a "wrap" ring or anniversary band that can be worn with your existing set to add bling for fancy occasions. Maybe buy a totally separate flashy right-hand ring and/other jewelry for those occasions when your husband wants you to look more impressively bejeweled. :)
Maybe you can try adding a circle of small diamonds to your current ring, that would make it look way bigger.
If you enjoy your ring as is, keep it, and get another to wear for fancy, either on the ring finger or adjacent middle finger. You could go for an additional band with diamonds, or a "wraparound" designed to enhance the central diamond of your engagement ring. Or go the other way: a large colored stone, optionally surrounded with small diamonds. Look at the Princess Diana/Kate Middleton engagement ring. Since you don't care for flashy, you might like a cushion cut, or even go with a star sapphire, which gleams rather than sparkles. Lots of great rings on Etsy.
How fun! Good Luck!
You should take the ring to a jewelry designer and see if it can be upgraded in some way. I'll bet stones could be added or a nesting-ring could be built around it to make it more flashy.
Whatever you choose to do, I hope you'll give some thought to where the stones come from. THere are several companies that create diamonds (real ones, not cubic zirconium) that don't come from exploited and enslaved mine workers. Brilliant Earth is one such company.
You could wear your original engagement ring on a different finger. My wedding band doesn't fit with my antique engagement ring, so I usually wear it on a different finger when I'm wearing my engagement ring and wear the engagement ring on the ring finger of my left hand. I second the idea of taking your original ring to a jeweler to see if it could be modified to be more of a statement while keeping the original feel. Or, you could look at vintage/antique rings for your statement ring.