Divorce and/or emotional abuse support group?

I'm looking for something like group therapy for people going through divorce (or gaining the courage to divorce), ideally a group that can understand and offer support for those dealing with emotional abuse, infidelity, partner's addiction, co-parenting with a controlling partner...that whole theme. Ideally, it would be in-person. Not Zoom.

I've searched BPN and the internet, but haven't found anything current.


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I’m very sorry to hear about your situation. Shalom Bayit offers individual counseling as well as support groups for victims/survivors of abuse (including emotional abuse, as you described). Participants include those who are still in their abusive relationships and considering divorce. There is one group currently meeting in person in SF, their other groups are still taking place by phone…for now. The staff at Shalom Bayit can also help you find other support groups at other DV agencies if SF is not a convenient place for you to attend in person. You can call the helpline (510)845-7233 or email counseling [at] shalom-bayit.org. Shalom Bayit is a Jewish organization but serves folks of any background. 

I am so sorry you are experiencing such terrible abuse. I am recently divorced and only now realizing the depth of my trauma and just how not ok my former spouse's behavior was for a very long time. Emotional abuse, infidelity, substance use, and co-parenting with an increasingly polarized partner were all part of the picture.

Consider reaching out to CORA to see what support they have to offer.

My former spouse agreed to a collaborative divorce process which includes mental health support. They present well—all the manipulation and control happened in private. I did not think I could get a fair settlement or protect my children by mediating or going to court. I trusted the collaborative process. The professionals (even my partner's attorney) came to see what was going on. I came to feel well supported and that I got a fair settlement (financial and child related). I also had the support of a therapist I had been working with for a while who is trained in collaborative divorce and treating substance use issues impacting the whole family. Consider attending a free  collaborative divorce workshop (addresses many paths to divorce, not only collaborative practice) before making any divorce related decision (informative and no pressure). Consider reaching out to Emily Weaver, a collaborative practice mental health coach.

Also consider attending an ITC workshop or group (focus will be on repairing the relationship, but you can learn skills to protect yourself from your partner's behaviors while going through divorce), or going to Al-Anon group for support around the substance use.

This will be a difficult road, and trust that you will find support to navigate it so that you can begin healing and have a better future for yourself and your children. Be kind to yourself. You can get through this.

I don’t know if you are a Kaiser member, but years ago they had a really great and helpful divorce support group.  Highly recommended.