Divorce and who stays in the house
Hello all,
We are just starting the divorce process and telling our kids soon (14, 12, 8). While I have a million questions and endless fear (coated often, thankfully, with relief), I'm very concerned about finances. My husband's family has money, mine/I do not. He wants to buy me out of our house and says it's legal to do so if one parent has the means to do so (pay other 50% of assessed value, equity assessed, etc.).
While I definitely want my kids to have as much stability (staying in their home at least 50% of the time, staying @ same schools, etc.), I don't want to be forced out of my home.
Advice?
Jul 28, 2016
Parent Replies
Get a lawyer. Seriously. This site (as well meaning as people are) is not where you want to be getting your advice. How to divvy up houses and other community property can be hard for lawyers to understand. What you need to know right now is that you have options, and you need professional advice. What you may be thinking of as your husband's money may well be half yours, but that's as far as I'll go in the advice line.
Hi, I'm sorry for your situation. You need to hire an attorney, ASAP. Hopefully the skewed money situation won't also result in skewed attorney knowledge/effectiveness. But yes, it is entirely possible he'd be able to buy you out; the assets need to be split, and you can't really split a house. So it either gets sold and you each get 50% of the proceeds, or, you get your 50% directly from him since he buys it. Fair? No, not really. Does it happen a lot? Yeah, sure does. The one possible consoling factor is due to the uneven incomes he'll likely be paying you child support, which will (at least in theory!!) allow your kids to live in close to the style to which they were accustomed. Although, how many times have we all seen kids of divorced parents where visiting one means trekking up to the hills, while visiting the other means an apartment in the flats somewhere...everyone's mental health though should trump all the weird economic inequities, so be happy you're doing what you can to foster that. Best.
Please get a lawyer as soon as possible- he or she can help guide you through this meaningful step. Just because he has more money does not mean he gets his way.
there are many ways of dividing assets- your lawyer should be able to give you the options
good luck- you will survive although it will be tough at times
While going through my divorce, I found this book really helpful: Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce by Emily Doskow. It covers everything in a practical, matter of fact way.