Daycare keeps sending son home because of crying

I have been attending the same daycare for over 4 years with my first son and last year in August my second son started at the same place. My first little guy was super easy so we never really had any issues. 

We are completely easy going parents always followed the rules about picking up kids when they were sick with a temperature. Never really had any issues. As of lately my youngest has been sent home for crying for more than 30 minutes. This is in the contract but I feel like she is abusing that rule. He keeps getting sent home after crying there. And acts perfectly fine when he gets home. 

She would say that he was tugging on his ear and might have an ear infection but never does it at home. Today me and my husband were shamed and threatened because we didn’t pick him in 30 minutes. My husband had an interview in the city and I was out of the area so I couldn’t  get him right away. She was also being super vague by saying stuff like.... well let me try this to see if he stops crying and then 4 minutes later threatening to call CPS. Which put me in a state of panic. When I picked him up she served me a warning slip saying this is the last warning and then he will be terminated. And then shamed me for not having a car seat in my Car and using hers. I was doing work related stuff and carpooling with a friend. She also snapped at my friend for trying to explain the situation. 

I left as quickly as I could. So I had my husband pick up our other son. Who also got a belittled, she almost forced him to read the rules out loud and shamed him for having a job interview and not responding even though I responded right away. 

I feel really upset and abused. Is this normal behavior at a daycare ? Is she mentally unstable? I am taking my son to the dr tomorrow to double check on his “ear infection” but we are planning on putting our 30 day notice but is there away to terminate this earlier? I am not sure I feel my kids are safe there anymore

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This is totally unacceptable and I have never come across this situation before. A daycare cannot treat a child and/or parents like this. You have every right to be upset. I would immediately pull my child out of this daycare and file a complaint about this center/person. Our son has been in 3 daycares and he had a touch time with the initial transition phase. All three centers did a great job in making him feel welcomed and safe. He has no issues now. I think it is important that you reveal the name of this center so that other members are wary of this particular childcare center. Thanks

Reading your post, it is clear you already know what to do. Pick up your child today and don't ever go back to that daycare. Good luck.

My second boy cried a lot in the day care, when I was taking him to there for 2 hours per day. I received the ultimatum to either put him full-time or remove him from the daycare. NOBODY called me to pick him up right away. I did both options. I took him out of the daycare completely, then put him back in after a while to the same day care full-time. To the defense of the daycare, crying child is hard on the staff, the children, and most of all, your child. I think some children have longer period of getting used to a daycare, then to a preschool. I am not sure if you need to wait the whole 30 days. You can talk to your daycare provider about it. It sounds like she wants you out ASAP. Have you found other daycare options? Also, I have seen some parents come to daycare and stay there to play with their child for first few days, to ease the transition to the daycare.

I am so sorry to hear this is happening to you. I've been a center director for kids from 0-5  for 20 years now and the description  you've given us is not ok, and raises many red flags for me. Babies cry, it's how they communicate -- it's almost never a reason to send them home, unless there are also signs of illness. And the 30 min rule is ridiculous, especially in the Bay Area where you can spend 30 min to drive 2 miles. I know good programs with spaces are hard to find, but if I were you i'd start looking. So sorry to hear you're having this experience. 

If you feel that your kids are not safe, don't take them back. You may have to pay two daycares for awhile. Or you could just not pay them and hope that they think it is too much trouble to deal with small claims court. The safety of the kids is most important. 

I'm so sorry for this happening to you!

It does not seem like a good situation anymore. Even if this person is having a very stressful moment in her personal life causing her to have a short fuse, she is being very unprofessional with you and in front of your kids. Kids cry! As another point, we personally had a situation where our child cried a lot with a nanny, but once we put them in a large daycare setting they were much happier. So, for my two cents -- between her unprofessional management of the situation, and the possibility that your youngest could be happier elsewhere, consider getting yourself a new daycare. A 30 day notice would be good so that you can get your bearings and going with a new place while still having coverage, but you might have to eat a couple weeks of the cost if you find a place that will work and want to move faster. Call around even to places that you might thing have a long waitlist, depending on their policies, if you make it easy for a different daycare to fill a slot they have open, and they don't have to mess around with their waitlist, and they get to help out a parent who is in a bind (you), then you might be able to get in fast at another place!

That sounds absolutely horrible. My kids are big now, 12 &14 but when my little 2nd baby just Started out at preschool (Via Nova, great place) he cried quite a bit and never did I have to come get him. They just tried many different things to help him assimilate and finally he did! I would never want to bring my kids back if that happened. Do you have a deposit? I would be willing to forfeit it and just never go back, even though it would have been financially a burden for sure!!! If there is any way for you to find someone to watch your kids and take a hit on the deposit, I would tell them they are terrible and u don't ever Want them watching your kids again!! Don't let yourself be bullied by supposed professionals who are mean to you and your precious family!!

I’m not seeing the problem here. You’re unhappy with the day care, they’re unhappy with you. Life doesn’t revolve around you and your issues. The solution is to go elsewhere, and hope you can find a place that doesn’t stick to their contracted response times, behavior requirements, and doesn’t mind releasing children to illegally configured (lacking legally-required car seats) vehicles.

wow, this sounds horrible! I experienced the ear-thing as well with my son but all of the rest sounds absolutely horrible! I sure hope, our sons are not in the same day-care though! I wouldn't feel safe for my son anymore as well. Hope, you can get your son out of there quickly!